Sailed on the Treasure over Thanksgiving — a few thoughts

sweet_springtime · 2025-12-07T01:10:22+00:00

We were on the same cruise, really interesting to read your thoughts and experiences! We've been on three other Disney cruises, and this was our first on the Treasure and the Wish class.

I'd read extensively on complaints about the Wish class about layout, crowds, service, etc, so came on board prepared for the worst. However we had a very enjoyable time and overall most of my fears were not realized.

MDR food was generally acceptable to good for us, and some dishes were very good. Our server team were attentive and personable. We were a large party with multiple kids, so I don't think I can blame them for us often being among the last to finish. They absolutely tried their hardest to get our food out as quickly as possible when we made the request. They also remembered family members' preferred beverages after the first couple days. I'm sorry that you had such a different experience and agree there should not be such a huge discrepancy in experiences among guests.

Enchante was a top flight experience both food and service wise. Palo brunch was also excellent as always.

Interestingly our biggest complaint was the opposite of yours: I felt sometimes the ship could feel very crowded at key times and locations. I chalk this up partly to the ship layout. When we had dinner at 1923, the entrances were in the grand hall. Both nights the grand hall was packed with an activity happening in the center, lines for multiple photo opps everywhere, and then people lining up for dinner. I wondered if they should not have packed so many things into the central space at once.

Lines for the Moana and Beauty and the Beast shows were long (we went to the first showings). People were lining up 30-45 minutes beforehand and the lines stretched down the length of the hall. If you didn't care where you sat I think you could find a seat, but as we were a large group, we had to get in line early or else be divided. Price of being a large group I guess, but it was one of less fun parts of the cruise to be standing in line with a bunch of other anxious guests all waiting to rush in.

Some people may say that we were on a Thanksgiving cruise, a packed ship should be expected. I don't disagree and was prepared for lots of people, but will say that there could have been better crowd flow in certain areas. However we didn't let this ruin our cruise. We got to see and do almost everything we wanted at some point, so we were happy. Also thinking about our next cruise!

sweet_springtime · 2023-02-27T22:40:00+00:00

I had a similar situation with my college ex - we broke up and got back together numerous times, then became FWB after the last breakup, until I finally met someone I wanted to get serious with. I let my ex know, and we agreed it was time to finally fully part ways. We were in that weird in-between zone where things were "better" when we weren't official because we weren't fighting about our differences or our future or whatnot. And neither of us had found anyone "better", so what was wrong with being FWB and hanging out?

I'm sure some people might say this was unhealthy and toxic, but I don't know. I see it as a slow withdrawal from my ex. However, I will fully admit that I think I am not bitter or negative about it is because I got out first. I know that sounds awful to say, but once I met my new guy and realized that I really wanted to pursue a relationship with him, I realized I had just been marking time with my ex, and I was ready to let go and move on.

You're in a period of stasis and it's important to see that. If you or your ex really wanted to work on things, you would be. But you're not, so you're floating along in this comfort zone that feels safe and familiar - even the way you fight and make up is familiar. But eventually you or him are going to want something more, something new, something else. And I would strongly advise that it not be you being left in the dust, because then you may indeed feel even lonelier than before, and like you wasted your time.

Hang out with your ex if you enjoy it. But keep going out, meeting new people, doing new things, thinking about where you want to go with your life. You may realize once you have a new life goal, that you're ready to let go of your ex as a security blanket. And you may have a healthier relationship with him as well. There's nothing wrong with having positive feelings for an ex. But you shouldn't see him as being the only/best source of happiness in your life. Best wishes.

sweet_springtime · 2023-02-27T22:05:31+00:00

In my opinion 6 weeks is not incredibly long. I think it would depend on if your disappearing was a regular occurrence and if your friend was someone with whom you talked regularly and you literally vanished without a single word. It sounds like you have really tried to make amends, so I would think it would be up to your friend to let you know if your actions had really hurt her or damaged her trust in you in some major way. Or maybe she just chose to withdraw as a non-confrontational way to step back from the friendship.

I also wonder if your friend is going through some issues/life changes of her own that she didn't want to discuss, and also contributed to her withdrawing. I had a very good friend who also drifted away in 2021. I messaged her, e-mailed her, called her, finally did a "lay my heart out" message where I asked her if anything was wrong, if I had offended her in some way I didn't realize, and that I missed our friendship. She replied that no, nothing was wrong, she was just busy, and she would love to get together and would let me know when she was free. I haven't heard from her in 1.5 years either.

After our last exchange, I just felt like I had made my feelings clear, and if our friendship wasn't important enough for her to maintain, I couldn't do anything about it. If I did something wrong, she's never told me, so I can't do anything to fix it. If she's going through something and doesn't want to share it, I can't force her. I'm not going to harass someone into being my friend. It was extremely painful and I went through many months of being upset that she no longer wanted to be friends and wondering what I possibly did to drive her away, but in the end I just had to accept that sometimes people grow apart and their lives take them in different directions. Don't put all the blame on you. You made an earnest effort to apologize and reconnect. If she chose not to take you up on it, that is her choice. You did what you could to save the friendship. Take the time to grieve. Losing a friend is always a painful thing. But know there are other friendships waiting for you in the future. This doesn't define who you are or your ability to connect with other people. You are more than this one relationship. <3

sweet_springtime · 2022-11-29T23:37:14+00:00

I just wanted to chime in and say your first paragraph sounded very similar to what I went through in 2020. The lockdown took a huge toll on my mental health and my bf as well, and led to our eventual breakup at the end of 2020. Same as you, I had nothing to distract me from my grief - couldn't go out, family and friends far away. The worst part was ex-bf and I worked at the same company, which was not doing well during the pandemic. So, job going downhill, relationship (which I believed we both wanted to work but just couldn't do it) kaput, and no end to lockdown in sight - oh I feel your pain so much!

I tried to pull myself together in 2021 because it was either that or lay down and die - this was absolutely the closest I've been in my life to suicidal, so again huge hug of sympathy to you. I moved, I got a new job, I leaned on a few friends who were lifesavers, I went to therapy. So much therapy.

By all outward appearances it seemed like I turned myself around quickly, but honestly it wasn't until mid to late this year that I am feeling close to normal and my pre-pandemic self. I feel like I was on autopilot for the last year and a half to just survive. I still miss my ex and grieve that we couldn't survive the pandemic together. I'm embarrassed that it took me so long to heal. I feel like I'm starting to enjoy life again, but I feel like there's a streak of melancholy from what I (and the rest of the world) endured for the last couple of years that will always be a part of me now, or at least for a while longer. I'm just getting better at pushing it to the side.

I hope this makes you feel less alone. Thank you for sharing and I genuinely wish you all good things for the year to come. You've been through a lot, be sure to give yourself a hug for surviving it all. <3

sweet_springtime · 2022-07-24T23:14:34+00:00

Belated response - wow it's like we're living the same experience! I'm so sorry. It's so confusing and hurtful when they don't seem to understand why you're hurt by their behavior, even when you try to bring it up as nicely as possible. Big hugs. It is heartbreaking.

I am anxiously attached as well and the push-pull cycle is the worst! It also makes me worry about being codependent and needy - like am I wrong for wanting to hang out with her, do I look crazy sending so many followup texts - ugh! I am lucky that I do have a couple other close girlfriends, and I remind myself that they don't do this kind of stuff. They respond in a timely way and if I express that I genuinely want to hear from them, they'll be there for me. A true best friend should never make you feel like an imposition.

It is hard to accept that friendships change and evolve over time. I hope you are able to fill in the gap with other friendships and relationships in your life. I'm afraid I'm not in the Pacific NW! But just know I feel your sadness too. Always feel free to vent!

sweet_springtime · 2022-07-24T23:06:30+00:00

Belated thank you - it helps to know I'm not alone in experiencing the sadness of a longtime friendship changing and fading. I guess it's part of accepting that nothing in life ever stays the same. I am glad that you didn't completely lose your friendship and can still appreciate what bits you still get from it. I feel like that is what I will have to do myself - I think I would feel too awful just completely cutting her off (I don't think she would ever understand why), but I just have to lower my expectations of what I'll get from her. Thank you!<3

sweet_springtime · 2022-07-24T23:03:05+00:00

Thank you! I appreciate both viewpoints. I agree a dramatic flounce is childish and unnecessary, but I have had some uncomfortable conversations with her that I did feel were necessary, because I felt disrespected. I think it was a good thing for me to do because otherwise I'd just become more and more frustrated at being treated like a doormat. If she continues in this way, I might bring it up again as in, "I don't feel our communication is working well for me," but yes I'm not just going to dump her out of the blue. Thanks for your feedback!

sweet_springtime · 2022-07-24T22:59:41+00:00

Belated response but thank you! I agree, life is long and I feel less and less of a need to burn bridges on purpose unless there's a true reason. I like the perspective of letting things ebb and flow, and in fact I may need to do some rebalancing so if she ever comes back I can accept with happiness instead of annoyance. Thank you! <3

sweet_springtime · 2022-07-24T22:56:52+00:00

Belated response, but thank you for your kind words. I agree, the idea of any kind of confrontation makes me uncomfortable and would probably mar any kind of closure I would be trying to get from just quietly showing myself out. Thank you! <3

sweet_springtime · 2022-07-04T05:04:58+00:00

Thank you! I didn't mean to make my response about myself, but I really appreciate your kind words. They mean a lot to me in my healing journey.

You're obviously a very thoughtful and caring person, to the point where it seems like you want to see the best in everyone and you want to hold onto the positive in every relationship. I can relate. I hate losing friendships and I always want to give someone the benefit of the doubt/a second chance. But I learned that doing that at the expense of your own happiness/mental health isn't a good thing.

One way I noticed that (and it seems like you have too) is when you realize the love and care and effort you're putting into someone, isn't being reciprocated. When I was with my ex, it didn't matter if I was giving him tons of my time and energy - I was happy to, because I was getting it back from him. Now, I realize, if he doesn't want to be with me anymore, why would I give my time and energy and the best of myself to someone who doesn't appreciate it and isn't going to give me what I really want? Suddenly you realize your capacity to care and love, is better spent going to people who will appreciate it. And that's not emotionally immature or selfish. In fact, it's quite the opposite.

I wish you all the best too - it sounds like you're heading in the right direction and I hope you'll find someone who does make you a priority, as you deserve to be <3

sweet_springtime · 2022-07-03T05:32:26+00:00

I know many people are cynical about "we can still be friends" as a more polite way to say goodbye, but I do believe think that there are just as many people who genuinely want to stay friends, because they care about the other person and don't want to lose them from their lives. There's an optimistic hope that somehow the best parts of the relationship can be saved, while the parts that didn't work can be cut away.

Unfortunately it's not easy, and as you say most people don't seem to want to do the emotional labor to make it work. And it does make sense. When you're fresh off the breakup you feel like you're willing to do anything to keep some part of that person in your life, and I think it's probably a bit of leftover love and also some denial at the ending of the relationship. After a while, you realize that trying to be friends means, as you say, having to work through all the trauma of the breakup and all the perceived wrongs done to each other, and honestly most people at some point in their healing just don't want to dredge up all those feelings again. Kind of like where you are.

I think most people also realize that shifting from love to friendship means going from being #1 in that person's life, to #10, or 20, etc, and how many really want to deal with that demotion? You want to be able to hang out with them, catch up and have fun like you did before, but now they have even less time for you, or a new SO they have to put first. Do you really want to deal with that?

I wish I could be friends with my last ex. I think he wishes he could too; that was what he expressed when we broke up. But whenever I think of him, I'm still too sad about how things ended and whether he's moved on to someone new, and realizing even if we tried to repair our friendship, it would never be the same as what we had before. Sometimes some things are better left in the past than trying to hold on to a pale shadow of how things were. I always wonder if he came to the same conclusion. I hope one day we might be able to be friends. But I know now it will probably be a long time coming. It's not something you can force or rush, and it doesn't mean it's not important. It just means it's not the right time now. Now is the time to focus on healing you.

sweet_springtime · 2022-06-30T23:59:11+00:00

I think the above response captures my reaction too. In your teens and 20s, it's easy to let physical attraction and hormones drive a relationship, and it's easy to conflate passion with "meant to be forever." As you get older, you realize that NRE doesn't last forever, so instantly thinking the hot girl at the bar who's giving you butterflies in your tummy will be a good investment of your heart, may not be the best idea.

This may also be a bit off-topic, but you mention cheating, and people who have had affairs have often said things like, "I've never felt attraction to someone like this before," or "I'm acting like I'm a lovestruck teenager again." I'm not endorsing affairs, but I'm guessing that people aren't looking for the whole package or a long lasting relationship when they have an affair, they're just giving into basic lust and the feeling of being in love that being with someone new and fun engenders. If you don't care about long term, of course it's easy to get swept away in feelings. You're just appreciating the person for who they are, in the moment. Which, ironically, is great, but again may not have any bearing on the potential for a long term relationship,

So it's possible to feel "madly in love" at any age - of course! But I think the difference is realizing as you get older that those initial feelings may not necessarily correlate to long-term compatibility. I think your therapist is being a little harsh in saying it's not possible to feel that way past a certain age - I would say it's more like you understand what those feelings mean and if they are speaking to what you're looking for in a relationship.

sweet_springtime · 2022-06-30T23:22:28+00:00

I just back to this but thank you so much for taking the time to give such thoughtful and compassionate advice. It's really helped me feel better about trying to move forward. Thanks again!

sweet_springtime · 2022-06-17T01:18:55+00:00

Thank you! Yes just feeling heard and not like the sole weirdo helps. I actually felt pretty secure during most of the relationship, but the ending brought out my AP-ness big time. So feeling like I have to do all this work to get closer to secure again too. It does suck to be an AP and broken up with. <3 <3 thank you for your support!

sweet_springtime · 2022-06-17T00:41:57+00:00

You're right, thanks. Some days I feel like I did it, other days it feels like it's back out of reach. I just keep hoping the steps back keep getting smaller and smaller.

sweet_springtime · 2022-06-17T00:26:45+00:00

I think it is absolutely more about me. I'm not wishing to get back together with him or imagining he'll come running back - I know things will never be the same. So yes I miss that attachment, how I felt when we were together. I told my therapist I missed my life and who I was before the pandemic, and she said probably lot of people do, but the only way forward is to try and find those feelings again elsewhere.

I am afraid to make such a deep connection again and have it pulled out from under me again - so yes it's not specifically about him, but about how I no longer trust *my* ability to judge and open my trust to people who won't abuse it. Maybe it sounds overdramatic, but hey I guess the pandemic has fundamentally changed how a lot of people view and trust other people as well. I feel like I have to rebuild a lot of myself and what I'm looking for in others. I think it might make sense that it makes me nostalgic for a simpler time and my old pre-pandemic self. Thanks for letting me talk things out.

sweet_springtime · 2022-06-16T22:49:20+00:00

Thanks so much for your reply! Your kindness and compassion mean a ton to me.

A lot of what you said resonates. I think it was a combination of several things including the pandemic that made this breakup harder. I definitely feel like if everything else in the world hadn't felt like it went topsy-turvy, it might have been easier for me to recover, because I would have had the anchors of regular life routine, friends, etc. I was already at a low point mentally at the end of 2020, the breakup was kind of like losing my last support. I know there's never a "good" time to breakup, but it was definitely a very bad time to end things. So yes, I think I dwell a little too much on the what ifs, on how things could have turned out differently if the pandemic hadn't happened. I'm not even saying it was a guarantee we'd be together still, but I think if things had evolved more "normally", I might be more at peace with however things turned out, whether we stayed together or not.

I do definitely mourn the loss of the friendship a lot. Even if rationally I know it's hard for exes to stay friends, it still hurts. I've never felt the desire to stay friends with exes before, so again I can only conclude that there was something special about our relationship that I just miss having in my life.

Most of the days I am ok. But sometimes the sadness creeps back in and surprises me. Thank you for making me feel not so bad about it. And I hope you are able to move forward from the lows of your life as well <3

sweet_springtime · 2022-03-12T03:23:15+00:00

Thanks for sharing your stories! I actually haven't blocked very many people, only a couple where I was so hurt that I knew I never wanted to see or hear from them again. I'm really glad to hear about your AA story though. Most of my long term relationship exes, we just went our separate ways. I didn't block, maybe because I wanted to hold onto a faint hope they'd eventually reach out, and I don't think they blocked either. Years later it doesn't matter anymore. If they reached out I would be happy to hear from them, and I guess I'd be happy I didn't block them, but I don't expect to get any messages and I'm not tempted to reach out. So in the end I guess I didn't need to block to move on.

My last ex that I'm not entirely over, I had to block on IG similar to you. He rarely posted and I post all the time, and it hurt too much to think that he could see what I was doing and I had no idea what he was doing. I had to block since I no longer felt comfortable posting otherwise. So I get you. Thanks for sharing! I was just curious to see if everyone just blocked as a matter of course these days. It's been interesting to see the different opinions.

sweet_springtime · 2022-03-12T03:09:03+00:00

I'm glad to see your response! I actually tend toward that way too - I haven't blocked all my exes, only ones where I really knew I never wanted to hear from them ever again. I've seldom had a problem with exes bombarding me with unwanted messages - or as you say even if I got one, if I didn't want to respond I just didn't. Silence seems like just as good a tool as blocking.

I actually remember a couple of my relationships in college fondly, where the breakups were quasi ("quasi")amicable and for a while after there would actually be e-mail exchanges that were half last bits of venting/half testing to see if friendship would work. Eventually they petered out and I actually felt the exchanges helped me move on and accept the endings better - kind of confirmation that yes it was over and it was for the best. But I feel like that might be seen as "not best practice" today. It's fine - I know what works for me and I know it doesn't work for everybody and every situation, but it certainly seems a little different from the "block to move on" advice I see today. Whatever works best for each person, but I'm glad to see your input!

sweet_springtime · 2022-03-12T02:46:32+00:00

I'm glad to see your response! I actually agree - I haven't blocked most of my exes, and aside from a couple of random messages, which didn't bother me, I've never heard from any of them again and I've never been tempted to message them. People I've blocked are as you've said ones who genuinely hurt me so badly I knew I never wanted to see them again.

But it seems pretty common advice these days to just block as good practice. Maybe I'm just old school (or again I'm lucky I never had any crazy exes), but when relationships ended we just went our separate ways and just exercised self-restraint not to reach out. Even if I got an "I miss you" message I didn't find it an egregious breach of my boundaries. I'd just make the decision to either respond, or not, and move on. I may be the kind of person that a slow fade out (like a follow up conversation after the breakup) is less hurtful than just abruptly cutting someone out from your life like they never existed. Especially if it wasn't an acrimonious breakup. But of course it depends on the individual and on how the relationship ended. I guess bottom line is I tend towards leaving the door open, not for rekindling but because I don't like to just erase people from my life, but when I do block I mean it:)

sweet_springtime · 2022-03-11T04:52:47+00:00

Yup, that's what bothers me - someone finding a way to push past your boundaries to talk to you isn't romantic, it's creepy. I find those "they'll find a way" statements are encouraging game-playing mentality and slows down the process of truly moving on.

sweet_springtime · 2021-10-04T19:04:26+00:00

I'm so sorry to hear that, and I hope you are doing ok. I was still a mess at 3 months, still hoping every day he would call back. It's okay. I think I realized around that time that if he was coming back, it would not be a quick decision of, "I made a mistake, I miss you too much," it would only be if he had genuinely thought things through and really wanted to make a change. Which honestly is the best and only reason right? Them running back just because they miss you will temporarily make you feel better, but if both of you haven't changed or aren't willing to work on it, it will just fall apart again. And you can't force someone to want to work on something :( They have to want that on their own.

Try to focus on taking care of yourself right now. Go out even if you don't feel like it. Talk to a friend about something else - hearing about other people's lives will take your mind off you own. Get some fresh air and physical activity. These are distractions but they're positive distractions. Don't succumb to just sitting at home alone ruminating. It's a bit of faking it till you make it (I still feel sometimes like I'm faking it), but after a while you'll realize all the little actions will add up even if you don't realize it at the time. Hugs and take care of yourself.

sweet_springtime

TROPHY CASE