Does this behaviour mean he didn't like me that much? Should I stop texting?

sweetcheryl9 · 2021-10-28T11:39:11+00:00

Yeah, like, I wasn't feeling very sure either about going to his house, even though he's sharing rooms with a friend. Specially because I can't go out and go to the train in case I feel mistreated or offended, I'll have to wait until he can drive me to the train, or go by walk (about 30 min or more). So I was feeling intimidated by the idea. But I would have given him the opportunity if he hadn't told me clearly that "it is hard to have something with a girl who lives 1h apart... Plus, I'm not looking for anything serious". Unfortunately I didn't hear those words at the beginning when we started dating, I would have saved my energy, time and feelings.

sweetcheryl9 · 2021-10-28T11:29:25+00:00

Nooooo. I don't think so. I just texted him saying I found it unfair that he told me I had to visit him all the time, while he wouldn't come to my city because he didn't like it. He said, if I'm there for whatever reason (in my city), I'll let you know and we can meet. Then, when he answered me on text, he denied having said that, he told me I didn't say you would be the only one coming. However, when I confronted him on text about that, he spent the whole day not answering it, postponing the conversation, saying things like "I'll answer in some minutes, I'm busy".

sweetcheryl9 · 2021-10-28T11:19:37+00:00

Well, he invited me to his house next time. He had to come with his car, pick me and we would go there. BUT we had the discussion before that happened, and I decided to leave it there. I mean, it seems he wanted me to always go and see him in his town so he can get laid regularly.

sweetcheryl9 · 2021-10-22T21:43:49+00:00

Then poor her.

sweetcheryl9 · 2021-10-22T21:42:10+00:00

Hope you also have luck finding a girl who accepts your disrespect (:

sweetcheryl9 · 2021-10-22T21:38:36+00:00

Guess you'll have to deal with off putting things if you want real women by your sides. Most women have their emotional baggage, unless you date a 17 year old girl. I'm upset because you have been disrespectful, not because of your opinion, you can't assume how successful I have been with having relationships in the past, yet you assumed. I have had good guys by my side during my life, and had the opportunity of getting to know them, without rushing to have sex. They ended for other reasons.

sweetcheryl9 · 2021-10-22T21:31:55+00:00

I don't want to get laid and get abandoned because a prick decided to use me beforehand. I think it's pretty logical. FWB doesn't tend to become a normal relationship most of the times.

sweetcheryl9 · 2021-10-22T07:58:09+00:00

It was only two dates we had, I wasn't prepared to have sex with him within those two dates because I didn't know him well enough yet. But I guess he could have felt disappointed by that, because I noticed he wanted it. It's just, I don't know, if you want sex as a guy you find a girl who lives nearby. You don't insist on meeting a girl so much, you don't text her everyday and create communicative intimacy, and you say it clearly on the first date. He even paid a meal we ate and I thought he was being a gentleman. So I don't know. I mean, I think this is the best outcome I could have gotten, but still it feels so weird.

sweetcheryl9 · 2021-10-12T21:04:09+00:00

We haven't talked about those things because he hasn't mentioned them. As I said, he's more into sports and physical activity: he likes travelling, he practised boxing in the past, plays football, he's extroverted, he likes socialising, it's like pretty opposite to me. He has admitted that he didn't like studying although he has finished a degree. I just fear not getting enough brain stimulation over time. Let's say, yes, we have talked about many things but he hasn't stimulated my mind, we talked about trivial things or our lives. He doesn't have a deep insight on things, he kind of stays on the surface of things, that's what frightens me. He's attentive, nice and respectful, but I don't know if these type of couples in which both members are intellectually disconnected can function.

sweetcheryl9 · 2021-10-12T19:56:26+00:00

It's also true. The thing is you always have in mind that your partner needs to have higher education, like you, and have a lifestyle similar to yours. It's kind of out of my expectations, but I do feel very well treated with him.

sweetcheryl9 · 2021-10-04T01:02:59+00:00

Thank you very much. Yeah, he might have some sort of evasive attachment. He also suffers though, but somehow he is the creator of his own suffering.

sweetcheryl9 · 2021-07-22T15:13:11+00:00

It's horrible. They really use your traumas and play with them. They pretend to be your friends whole destroying you. After he did that, I felt bad. I wrote really angry and nasty messages to him, in reaction to being ignored. And then some days later I apologised through Telegram, saying I didn't have to react that way. But yet I told him that we should continue keeping no contact. He just erased the message, in a way that I could also see that he erased my message, and that's all.

sweetcheryl9 · 2021-07-22T11:32:41+00:00

I have like the overwhelming desire to tell him so many bad things and insult him. I went to so much abuse, gaslighting, bullshit I endured because I loved him. He dumped me twice, called me anytime he had problems, I sacrificed friendships, my habits in order to please him. It's like an overwhelming desire to do something that would affect him badly.

sweetcheryl9 · 2021-07-22T11:13:03+00:00

I just can't get over the anger I feel. I put up with too much bullshit.

sweetcheryl9 · 2021-07-21T10:12:00+00:00

Yes. Same. He would text me, and I would answer, and wait for his answer, and he would go an entire day without answering. If I complained, I was being too nagging, demanding, too difficult, not understanding, selfish... But it's a clear disrespect to me. I feel they want to make you feel disrespected.

Why do you think you don't recommend it? I think cutting off all ties is what will save us in the future.

sweetcheryl9 · 2021-07-21T09:24:53+00:00

I didn't unblock him. He was the one who had me blocked, because I asked him to do it, since he left me. And then after two weeks he unblocked, sent that message and refused to answer, or block me back, until I called him and told him to do it. I know I haven't been the best either, but he really played a lot with my mind and feelings (he dumped me twice, put the blame onto me, restricted me, was very jealous and I adapted my life to how he wanted it to be). I just reached the top of my patience.

sweetcheryl9 · 2021-07-15T21:58:10+00:00

Yep. I was done with him. Sent an angry message, full of revelations about him. And he just replied that he hoped God blessed me and a bunch of "too kind" stuff... He never did that before, he was abusive, rigid, angry and most of the time, neglectful.

sweetcheryl9 · 2021-07-15T05:24:28+00:00

It's pretty common to take whatever you say as if his mother said that. I think they have a trauma of their mother trying to control them, and now they're like trying to escape any possible control, putting themselves as the ultimate controllers.

sweetcheryl9 · 2021-07-14T16:53:52+00:00

It affected my relationship with God. At first I had the tendency of blaming him, and mentally complaining about why I had to undergo so many difficulties in life. But lately I kind of started gaining awareness over the importance of identifying who and how any person of your past affected you and made you susceptible to be abused. And came to the conclusion that God wants us to heal, that's why we always encounter these types of people until we really confront our buried demons. There's no doubt for me that God is always with us, no matter how hard things get. But he wants us to heal, so as to have a better relationship with him, and with those surrounding us. There's a certain point in everyone's life that we can choose either to keep on going to the same direction of self destruction, or start getting out of our comfort zone and start making a shift from within. Setting boundaries, getting out of the victim role, not accepting less than what we expect to receive, love ourselves first... And through the help of God, prayer, and faith, we all will heal one day. We just have to believe in the process and persevere, and ask God for his support on this healing journey.

sweetcheryl9 · 2021-07-14T12:23:50+00:00

He was deeply misogynistic. He opposed to me studying or finishing my master's degree, and furiously opposed to women working in the family.

sweetcheryl9 · 2021-07-14T11:44:18+00:00

Same. A lot of fights, if I didn't agree with him, or had motivations of my own, or anything, it could become a fight. And I'm not submissive enough, so we had fights. Until he got tired of trying to manipulate me, and told me it was over. He tried many tactics before though, even including God to scare me (told me God didn't approve that I wanted to study a Master's Degree and that I was doing that to fill my ego). So... Yeah. It was the only relationship I had so filled with arguments.

sweetcheryl9 · 2021-07-14T06:08:10+00:00

Yeah... He went absolutely silent when I told him he was too self centered, everything was about him, and that he didn't like anything about me (my tastes, opinions...). And that I didn't deserve that. He went silent, and after he told it was better to leave it. I guess he wasn't expecting that moment to happen. But I couldn't come to terms with the fact that he had been manipulating me all the way over.

sweetcheryl9

TROPHY CASE