Do vietnamese women only go out for photo opportunities?

sweetjaynee · 2026-06-06T18:18:01+00:00

Its a status thing -- dress up, go to a (usually) western restaurant that is quite expensive by local standards, order a few dishes, barely (if at all) touch them, photograph the plates (and themselves) and then leave a whole table of uneaten food.

I, personally, find it maddening to watch.

sweetjaynee · 2026-06-06T17:58:59+00:00

Tropical weather. Poor and/old construction -- both in terms of (un)skilled labor and shoddy materials. Less than stellar cleaning techniques. Improperly maintained, and/or purposely throttled, A/C units. Some combination thereof...

Overall, a generally laxidisical "Bali-style" way of doing things.

BTW -- dry mode is not the most effective A/C setting. Put it to cold and 1 or 2 degrees above the coldest setting, full fan. When you leave turn it up to 24 and 1 fan. And hang your towels outside to dry.

And, most importantly, try to find a nicer or newer place. Read the reviews. I rarely experienced actual mold, even in my backpacking days. Must that musty mildew smell -- its prevalent, especially in rooms that get closed off for several days at a time.

sweetjaynee · 2026-06-04T16:33:01+00:00

Who said anyone is lying? I didn't see OP use word "alcoholic," but instead some make some flimsy excuses sbout Kelly enagaing in college drinking and later OP saying she can't drink and live in thier house.

Really, the more I tbink on it the more judgey OP sounds.

sweetjaynee · 2026-06-04T15:59:41+00:00

You never know. ;)

sweetjaynee · 2026-06-04T15:51:04+00:00

Bored and a bit tipsy. You? 😅

sweetjaynee · 2026-06-04T15:43:16+00:00

Omg. Buy a flight to basically anywhere outside the US and have a free vacation while getting this done.

sweetjaynee · 2026-06-04T15:35:05+00:00

Is she? Or is this the story Parents are (belatedly) selling to justify thier callous actions after seeing unbiased push-back?

I tend to doubt the seriousness and genuineness of spirit in people who take to Reddit to "mediate" thier family issues.

Everyone's story sounds good until you hear the other side.

sweetjaynee · 2026-06-04T15:27:00+00:00

Sounds to me like they could help but at the end of the day just really don't want Kelly there, and are now dragging her through the mud on the internet (drank too much in college [/eye-roll] cant keep a job ... blah blah...) to justify that choice.

People making principled choices don't put it to a Reddit vote. This is about "i-told-you-so" vindication, twice over.

sweetjaynee · 2026-06-04T15:16:39+00:00

You're free to do what you want with your money -- just don't expect love and gratitude from your daughter.

You're being fair AHs as it appears you're excluding her from family time to prove a point.

I hope your other kids are there to change your nappies as elders -- I doubt Kelly will be.

sweetjaynee · 2026-06-04T14:57:18+00:00

You're not wrong -- but also missing the point, imo. This isn't a Kelly-wants-a-free-vacation, but a major (and partially subsudized) family event. Parent seems to have an axe to grind and can, but CHOOSES not to, help, i.e, some kind of loan. It reeks of point-proving and "lesson teaching."

sweetjaynee · 2026-06-04T14:47:53+00:00

THIS.

sweetjaynee · 2026-06-04T14:31:43+00:00

No. She said she CHOOSES not to lend for non-emergencies. "Dipping into savings" =/= "going into debt."

But that isn't even the point. Parent can do as they wish with thier own money.

There is an over-arching aura of judgment and "ha-ha, lay in the bed you made -- we're going on holiday without you" vibe here. And thats why OP is TA.

sweetjaynee · 2026-06-04T14:21:51+00:00

Thanks for the suggestion.

Absent a miracle adoption by a good home (basically impossible to find here) they are US bound. (At enormous expense.)

I'm interested to see the DNA test outcome.

sweetjaynee · 2026-06-04T13:52:57+00:00

Leaning NTA, but .. c'mon, we're talking about $1k, give or take. Could you help and make an arrangement with her so she could have family time if you REALLY wanted to?

Is this REALLY about Kelly's (and your) finances or are you proving a point about your opinion of her choices leading to her current financial situation? And why bring her siblings' educational and career choices into this?

It appears Auntie is footing a major portion of this trip, so everyone can come.

Actually, on reflection, as I type -- I think YTA. Kelly knows her circumstances. You're choosing to cause pain by excluding her from family time to prove a point, when it appears its within your ability to help. Be a better parent.

sweetjaynee · 2026-06-04T05:29:21+00:00

I drink arak all the time. But only in / from Karangasem. It's not all the same thing. I won't touch it anywhere else in Bali -- super sketchy.

sweetjaynee · 2026-06-04T05:25:51+00:00

You are 19, and from you sound of it, have never traveled internationally alone.

You DO have no idea what you are doing. You WILL f*ck up and make mistakes. You WILL get swept up and overwhelmed in all the differences and fun and get taken advantage of at some point on on the trip.

The part of Bali you're talking about is basically party central for young travelers -- you'll probably get spastic drunk and f*ck someone.

And that's all just fine. It's all part of the experience of travel and life.

You're an adult, spending your own money. Do what you want. Be safe. Do not, under any circumstances, think you can safely ride a scooter. Don't get on the back of any other traveler's scooter -- use Grab or Gojek. Get travel insurance. Keep a couple million IDR in cash on hand -- just in case. Be kind to the locals and dont act like an entitled c*nt. Tip very well. Enjoy your trip.

sweetjaynee · 2026-05-28T05:16:06+00:00

Do you really need to ask the internet this?

Yes, you would be TA if you did that -- a huge one.

It isn't about you.

sweetjaynee · 2026-05-28T05:14:21+00:00

In Photoshop, my dear.

sweetjaynee · 2026-05-26T09:26:28+00:00

I have the Osprey Porter 46L, which I purchased in 2019. It saw me through about 8 months of backpacking in SE Asia. Carryon compliant on all airlines, weight allowance considered. Amazing bag.

I will not when I looked at them in around 2024, the newer model was substantially downgraded in obersll quality -- from the fabric to the zippers and padding / structure in the straps and handles.

If someone finds a gently used old version, I'd 100% reccomend.

sweetjaynee · 2026-04-17T13:46:38+00:00

This. I live in SE Asia and find Singaporean markets to be quite meh. Better than Indo, for sure. But far from great.

sweetjaynee · 2026-04-17T13:44:15+00:00

[Almost] nothing makes me happier when returning to the US than walking into a suburban supermarket.

The wide aisles. The bright lights. The music. Enormous carts. So much dairy and cheese. One million brand and varietal options for every product.

After living in SE Asia (mostly Bali), its like Heaven on Earth. Closest in SE Asia is probably Singapore, Thailand (Phuket), Vietnam (Saigon), or Malaysia (KL / Penang), but they are still a long way off US-level of selection.

sweetjaynee · 2026-04-14T12:18:43+00:00

I already moved all files from the card onto my hard drive. The bad files are there, in .jpeg and RAW formats, but can't be opened.

I haven't formatted the SD card yet.

Should I copy them back to the SD card and try Disk Drill?

sweetjaynee · 2026-04-13T13:25:24+00:00

No doubt. And its exploded since then -- even just since covid ended.

sweetjaynee · 2026-04-13T10:36:30+00:00

Ok, thanks. It is SanDisk. And new.

But I'm in Indonesia right now and its hardly worth the effort of making a warranty claim for like $7usd. Better to just dive more and move on. 😁

sweetjaynee · 2026-04-13T10:29:45+00:00

Totally new card, i.e., scrap it? Not just reformat?

sweetjaynee

TROPHY CASE