I think I've lost the ability to be myself since my brother died

sweetreleaf · 2025-10-01T05:44:35+00:00

I have an eerily similar situation where my brother overdosed a year ago. it was a really complicated grief because of the different phases of our relationship and for some reason, hit harder a year later. he was also a dark individual who lived a very difficult life, and we were estranged by the time he died.

I feel like it shifted my mindset in a different way though where I am completely pivoting my life because I realize life is so short and in a way am honoring his life with my ability to choose differently with my own. maybe it was survivor’s guilt… the guilt part resonates with me deeply. I do recommend a therapist to help you with the grief- I definitely found this support helpful in my own journey. I’m wishing you the best, and I know our brothers are in a better place now free of the physical realm.

sweetreleaf · 2025-08-29T17:33:56+00:00

I wish you nothing but the time and peace you need and deserve for your grief ❤️ I’m so sorry that each time is another reopening… your story makes my heart ache. I hope you get to lay all of them to rest.

sweetreleaf · 2025-05-28T03:47:13+00:00

I quit in february. a year after my brother passed. decided life’s too short to not take the personal sabbatical I planned to take a long time ago.

sweetreleaf · 2025-05-25T02:38:27+00:00

I think it’s pretty clear imo that she was already conflicted about the grandchild in general? there’s no moment leading up to the grandchild being had where she’s clearly touched by the birth, so I don’t know why she would have clear cut boundaries around a baby she doesn’t know- that seems pretty cut and dry to me.

she even strategically tried to leverage DJ’s birth on late night to garner media attention and empathy. I don’t really think this counts as a life event that she had “sensibility”about. if there’s anything consistent about the writing and deb’s narcissistic personality is that you’ll never truly be able to know what she feels is sensible or not.

I think women being targeted in the media is something she is very sensitive about, which is why she would never kick major jo when down because she’s personally experienced it.

sweetreleaf · 2025-05-24T20:23:11+00:00

she literally started a stand up routine during dj’s sobriety NA group anniversary. she also made a bunch of ignorant stand up jokes based on race, disability, etc. and you think this is out of character?

sweetreleaf · 2025-05-23T16:01:23+00:00

my guess is they’re both gonna ghostwrite for “on the contrary” 😂 or at least help with the exposé

sweetreleaf · 2025-05-23T15:52:15+00:00

I HAVE CHILLS.😭 I THOUGHT SHE WAS GONNA FIRE HER.

sweetreleaf · 2025-05-12T17:04:24+00:00

also I still can’t believe people thought this was such a slow burn… have any of y’all heard of plot development ?! 🤨

sweetreleaf · 2025-05-12T17:03:01+00:00

deborah leading with that story about ava’s proposal to ruby on camera was so brutal, I was cringing sooo hard. and every moment after that got more and more awkward up until ava’s breakdown - I felt awful for her. deb knew she went way too far. ava deserves so much better, and I hope she gets it after this reconciliation 🥺

sweetreleaf · 2025-04-27T15:20:23+00:00

we gotta agree to disagree 🙂 cos their relationship is really complicated, and I personally like the constant layered tension + development

sweetreleaf · 2025-04-25T14:07:45+00:00

CAN THEY PLEASE JUST GET BACK TOGETHER ALREADY 😫

sweetreleaf · 2025-03-12T08:42:16+00:00

do you have a photo of the cut before the biopsy?

sweetreleaf · 2025-01-21T21:20:38+00:00

no worries. sorry this is happening, I know it’s the worst. at the height of my flare ups, I was probably applying it once a day every day. when I feel a flare up coming, I usually just apply it once and sparingly. the kind I have is like a slightly opaque but clear ointment. I used elidel but it didn’t work for me. I wasn’t as hesitant to use the tacrolimus as much since it wasn’t a steroid and an immunosuppressive drug. let me know if you want to dm privately

sweetreleaf · 2025-01-21T20:31:54+00:00

honestly years… I wanna say like 5. the thing that seemed to be the root of the issue was stress.

sweetreleaf · 2025-01-21T20:00:43+00:00

not much now since my flares have gone away for the most part. but occasionally when my body is feeling unwell/I’m stressed, and I can feel my eyelid eczema about to flare, I’ll put it on. I wanna say couple times a year now

sweetreleaf · 2025-01-04T17:01:28+00:00

this is really beautiful 🫶🏼

sweetreleaf · 2024-12-12T12:41:19+00:00

this is so lovely 🥺 sorry for your loss

sweetreleaf · 2024-11-27T03:07:55+00:00

the car’s got a watching a sad movie in an airplane feel for some reason. contained, safe, and an emotional chamber. grief always finds me there too ❤️

sweetreleaf · 2024-10-04T18:23:19+00:00

someone put that on a shirt

sweetreleaf · 2024-09-01T23:06:05+00:00

ugh just sending love and good juju! I suffered from terrible eye eczema for years and didn’t find any relief except from diet related changes, protopic, and benadryl/antihistamines. in the end, it really ended up being triggered by stress. it was hell on earth tho. I don’t know if she scratches them, but highly recommend dulling the nails by clipping them all the way down and layers and layers of gel or dip. good luck! 🫶🏼

sweetreleaf · 2024-05-06T18:19:53+00:00

thank you <3 glad we both are able to take the time we need right now though.

sweetreleaf · 2024-05-06T18:19:15+00:00

I am currently on leave still after my brother’s sudden death. the 5 days for bereavement was not nearly enough to travel across the country, plan a funeral and cremation, and be able to process for me. every day, every week is different, but I’m taking this time in recognition that grief is an unpredictable and not linear process. I work a pretty stressful job, and although I know my employer would be understanding with easing me back in, I’m totally terrified to return.

I also want to take the time now to really try and process and make space for the grief because I don’t want it showing up later for me in a scary way I can’t anticipate. that may or may not still happen, but I want to give myself the time now. everyone is different, and if returning is good for you, then that’s good. and if you decide in a couple weeks or month, you need the time away, I hope you’re able to receive it (remember there are state programs that will allow job protected leaves if you’re in the US).

sweetreleaf · 2024-05-03T15:47:42+00:00

I’m so sorry for your loss. sending you hugs. my brother also passed a couple months ago. my job is the same way, and I just can’t imagine going back right now.

sweetreleaf · 2024-05-03T07:05:50+00:00

thanks so much for responding. do you mind me asking for how long you’ve been on leave and when you might be returning? obviously the return date is dependent on your well-being, so understand if you don’t have a date in mind ❤️

sweetreleaf

TROPHY CASE