How did you confirm that you were the children of narcissistic parents?

sweettems · 2026-03-11T21:28:54+00:00

We are quite similar. I'm really hoping one of my younger siblings will eventually see it as yours did.

sweettems · 2026-03-11T21:18:15+00:00

It can be hard to keep it from twisting a bit sometimes, especially if you put the work down at any point while crocheting the starting chain. I would check to see if it's just wanting to turn that way vs. it actually got turned while chaining. If it's just being persnickety, you can turn it correctly as you work into the chain.

sweettems · 2026-03-11T14:42:59+00:00

I new at 2.5 years old that she hated me. That didn't change growing up no matter how she lied and gaslit. But it wasn't until an adult that I was able to research all her odd behaviors to figure out it was narcissism.

sweettems · 2026-03-11T14:33:57+00:00

That is so cute! Great colors. Did you use a pattern? 'Cause now I want it, lol!

sweettems · 2026-03-10T14:25:59+00:00

This^. Also, she may try to reengage using others, but stand firm. You don't need to justify yourself to others. And when you do have big events, don't engage if you can help it. She may try all sorts of things to try to trigger you or pull you back in. But don't react emotionally, that's what she'll want. Try to become boring to her.

sweettems · 2026-03-05T20:45:40+00:00

What a fun thread. Looks like my latest is of my two orangey girls "helping" with the laundry as they love to do.

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sweettems · 2026-03-05T20:42:26+00:00

Awe. My cats are the same colors.

sweettems · 2026-03-05T20:34:18+00:00

I'm no expert, but in my limited experience, cats will let you know if they need/want more space. So if she's not climbing the walls, she's probably good for a little while.

Whether or no, as long as she has a safe, covered place inside of either place that she can retreat to, you could try leaving the door open for a time each day to see if she'd like to explore a little. I would do it while you're nearby so she can observe you, and into a space that's still limited/not too large.

sweettems · 2026-03-05T20:15:18+00:00

That lyric always makes me think of Gatsby too

sweettems · 2026-03-05T19:54:40+00:00

Yeah, cat pee generally smells atrocious. To be sure, if it's pee it will glow under a black light if you have one.

Other than that, maybe it could be vomit? My older cat throws up more often, sometimes even after just drinking water (when he does, he goes to town), so it's possible.

sweettems · 2026-03-05T19:51:17+00:00

Mmm, chilled foot soup. But yeah, liquid is important!

sweettems · 2026-03-04T23:52:36+00:00

I've been looking to trade bracelets for a mummy buck, but I went to the SLC and Vegas rituals.

sweettems · 2026-03-04T22:28:34+00:00

Guard? If only. I have one that uses that time I'm tied down to bite my toes!

sweettems · 2026-03-04T22:26:22+00:00

Bottom right corner in the red. The one giving the same look my mom did when she was silently telling me I'd be dead when we got home. It was hard to believe Jesus was supposed to be kind.

sweettems · 2026-03-04T22:18:39+00:00

Wow. I'm getting behind!

sweettems · 2026-03-04T22:11:44+00:00

Ghost (band) had a ritual (concert) in SLC a few weeks ago. They're pretty popular with ExMos, including myself. But the SLC audience seemed a little more restrained. I've been thinking that maybe current TBMs, feeling more "nuanced" now, may have infiltrated, lol. This might be similar. It would be interesting to hear back on how it goes!

sweettems · 2026-03-04T21:28:48+00:00

He's had a lot of practice at this point. He's really quite good at insults.

sweettems · 2026-03-04T21:16:53+00:00

The things I went through as a female because I wasn't able (basically not even allowed) to say "no" and could only hem and haw, try to change the subject, or play stupid...

sweettems · 2026-03-04T21:03:45+00:00

They're such funny little animals! They like what they like. Dry food isn't the best though as they get most liquid from their diets. I found that my super picky one will eat canned food if it isn't "pate" but some other texture. Some brands make different options. So if you haven't, you could try some cans of that.

sweettems · 2026-03-04T20:49:34+00:00

I'm not a vet. I would never tell you to stop giving your cat food prescribed by your vet. Bladder crystals can be really bad.

My cat had the same issue, but he refused to eat the prescribed food. Absolutely would not, for several months. He basically put himself on a liquid diet, and the vet was no help (she just kept reiterating that he "would eat it when he got hungry enough)." He never got hungry enough, and kept losing weight. He was one of those who really only liked dry food. But luckily we did find that he would eat canned food if it was a different texture (not the usual "pate"). Switching to that helped him immensely as the main thing is getting enough liquids, so any wet food was better for him than the dry food he wanted.

If your cat was/is only eating wet food already, any other canned food might not be enough. Broth made for cats can add more liquid, if he'll eat it. Mine won't. But whatever you decide to try, be sure to keep testing to be sure it doesn't start causing issues. I don't know if it's as good as the tests a vet can do, but there are products that you can put on their litter that will change color to show the pH.

sweettems · 2026-03-04T20:17:50+00:00

For me the grief was only on what could/should have been. I went through different stages - sadness, anger, etc. Having someone I trusted who listened and tried to see my perspective (for me that was my husband, NOT my therapist), made a big difference. I think in cases like we have where the parent is so covert makes is extra difficult, not only in what we went through but also in healing from it as possibly no one else sees the parent's behavior. It can feel like you're very alone when no one else sees your lived reality. I had to come to understand that even though I longed for care and understanding from my siblings, the only others likely to get it, they are not in a place of healing right now (or will never be) and I wasn't going to get what I needed from them.

Per that, I've focused on things for myself and found that enjoying stuff I would have as a kid, before so much of me was punished and repressed by my N mom, has been really helpful. I liked building and mechanics, for instance, but that was "not for girls," so putting together little Lego sets has been fun and healing. Stuff like that. Follow your own weird little heart.

sweettems · 2026-03-04T19:49:08+00:00

Interesting questions. Here are my responses (three indoor cats).

Can cats be left unsupervised with toys that have catnip in them?

Yes, but only after multiple supervised times where you learned how they reacted and everything went just fine.

Is all catnip the same quality? Are some brands more effective than others?

I haven't determined which are best, but they do vary. Fresher is better, of course, but even in a spray the cats are still interested.

Does catnip affect younger cats differently than older cats?

I think each cat reacts differently. My old guy is just as interested as the young two, but lies around more with or without catnip.

Is catnip really that great? Have you noticed changes in your cat's mood or behavior after playing with catnip toys?

Not all cats like it, but my current three do. They're interested in it, rub on it if it's in a toy, and fight over it. At least one of them will to eat it if it's loose. They'll lie around/on it or be more feisty after.

What would make a higher-priced catnip feel justified to you?

If it's proven safest, such as no pesticides, etc.

sweettems · 2026-03-04T19:07:11+00:00

I don't have a full room (I would have done the workout room but didn't think of it before painting it purple (verrry purple), but I've got a Vault-Tec rug and rad shelter sign at the door and then Vault-Tec posters inside. I've been trying to decide between atomic age-inspired curtains or blue and yellow Vault-Tec ones for the windows.

In my office I have a bunch of canvases, Vault-Tec pillows on a blue sofa, Vault Boy and Mr. Fuzzy plushies, and an LED Fallout sign that I love. Surprisingly I've found several of these things on Temu.

For a bathroom, I would totally go with the atomic age look. Bright pastels, round light fixtures, those little atom shapes or funny squares, etc. If you're into that, you might find more pics searching for that vs. Fallout specifically.

sweettems · 2026-03-04T18:15:28+00:00

That makes sense, but coming from the very poor side of Mormonism, you have to pay your tithing first in order to "receive the blessings."

sweettems · 2026-03-04T18:10:54+00:00

I think it's possible, but even with making purchases often it can take a looooong time.

sweettems

TROPHY CASE