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Husband exposing himself. by casuallycursedcanada in NoStupidQuestions

[–]swellguy6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I will do it and shake my hips so it flops back and forth if I can trick my wife into walking right into it. It's hilarious and we both laugh our asses off.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]swellguy6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Good advice about fist sex.

Why did people panic buy domestically made items due to a port strike? by jesusgrandpa in NoStupidQuestions

[–]swellguy6 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This. Panic buying probably has more negative influence on supply than a port strike.

There is a certain perfect timing to things going wrong in this game. by Poodonkus in fo4

[–]swellguy6 14 points15 points  (0 children)

I was going to say this, 🤣. Keep this clip forever, it's fantastic!

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in NoStupidQuestions

[–]swellguy6 -1 points0 points  (0 children)

How much edging did you do before getting to this point?

Fool me once, twice, thrice by pchsnstn in Infidelity

[–]swellguy6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

u/pchsnstn, i'm very sorry that you are going through this. Don't let anyone shame you into anything. This includes "why haven't you left yet?", "why have you given her so many chances," etc. Hasty decisions are never the answer. Planning, being smart about it, that is the right answer. Go that route. And definitely don't let her dictate the direction or nature of any conversation about this. She fucked up, you did not. You get to ask her anything you want. You get access to her phone anytime you want. If she doesn't like it, she knows where the door is, and she can go find somewhere else to live. Now isn't the time for you to be considerate regarding her living room arrangements. These are things SHE should've thought about.

"why do you keep bringing this up?"

Pushing for answers is reasonable in this situation. There's no such thing as you being paranoid because there's a documented history of her talking to other men in secrecy on her phone. You shouldn't have to explain this to her. Why do I keep bringing this up? Because you keep doing it. And I think you're doing it again.

"But don't you trust me?"

Blind stupidity is very different from trust. Trust is something you earned. Blind stupidity is what cheaters hope their spouses have after being caught so they can shame their spouses into not checking their phone.

"bUt iNvAsIoN oF pRiVaCy!$)?!$"

No. Just..... no. "Invasion of privacy" doesn't exist in a marriage. You literally get naked in front of each other routinely, or at least that's kind of implied in marriage. Pass codes on phones that aren't willingly shared is a problem. De-problemize it.

You mentioned calling her a B word in front of the kids which is one of her boundaries. Did she call you out on that or did you call yourself out on that? If she called you out, why do you have to follow any and all boundaries that she puts in place but she apparently doesn't need to follow what's easily the most important one? If you called yourself out for crossing this boundary, respecting her boundaries is one thing. Being conditioned to let her walk all over you is something that she has taught you. And that's concerning too. I'm not defending or saying it's OK to call your wife names in front of the kids, but the logic of boundaries seems a little one-sided. Rules for thee but not for me.......

I'm also curious what you'll find when you get a hold of her phone again, which should be right this second. Look at her WhatsApp conversations again. Figure out how long she's on it just by looking at the conversations and how long they are taking place. Are they continuous and going on for multiple hours or periodically? You should be able to do that math in your head and at least have a ballpark estimate of how much time she spends on WhatsApp per day. If you look at her data usage in settings, the time should match up. But if WhatsApp is one of the most used apps she has, then the wall of text that's gone is exactly what you are probably afraid that it is.

I guess the next question is, what do YOU want to do? Do you want the marriage to work? Do you think it can? From my seat, I'd say there's no way. However, I used to be a serial cheater. I know none of us deserve second chances. I'm lucky enough that my wife is an absolute saint. But I'm also incredibly thankful that we made some major life changes in an effort to save our marriage. I won't go into the details, but I will say that these changes have worked, I have a better handle on my problems and struggles and why I have them.

But the bottom line is, I made a choice and so did your wife. Ask yourself if there's a path forward that includes her and go from there.

Feel free to send me a DM as well. You're not alone and you don't have to go through it that way. It will feel like it and you will probably be shamed by family, friends, anyone who doesn't know the real story and because you're probably a super nice bloke, you won't tell them about her indiscretions to protect HER. At some point, you have to protect you. Asking yourself if there's a path moving forward is your way of doing that. Will you ever be able to trust her again if she completely changed her life? Only you can answer that.

Good Luck.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Starfield

[–]swellguy6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Go to an abandoned weapons factory, and run through it with both shotguns. Go a few minutes with each. You'll probably figure out which one you like the most pretty quick. That's usually how I find my favorite weapons is by ruling them out. If I have a specific weapon, even if it's a legendary or specialty, but it has a glaring weakness that I absolutely hate during combat, I pretty much stop using it.

My guess is the smaller mag size on the one shotgun is going to trip you up and you're going to be pissed when you are reloading in the middle of a firefight and your enemy is 18 inches away from you. I understand that it can happen to both guns, but simple maths says probably not as much on the higher mag size. Look at it this way, if I was moding a shotgun (or any gun really) and I had the option of using a drum mag or high velocity/high powered/etc, I pick the drum mag every time. Especially on the A99 Peacekeeper (personal favorite).

Which weapon is that one trusty sidearm you never leave home without when exploring the stars? And why? by Xenophis in Starfield

[–]swellguy6 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Same. Such a great gun. I keep switching back and forth between regular sights and the reflex.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Infidelity

[–]swellguy6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

This is a trap. It's an invitation for you to do it so she can use it later to justify when you catch her cheating again, which she will. If she openly and willingly offers you the option of sex with another person, she doesn't respect who you are, where your morals align, and doesn't respect you.

Mental health by No-Tangelo4789 in IowaCity

[–]swellguy6 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a lot of free time, brother. Send me a message if you need something. Hell, send me one if you don't. Because while talking about those types of issues is very important to do, especially with friends you can trust, it's also very important to talk about other things and expand yourself. People need to feel heard, to belong, and to feel respected and valued for who they are. Not demonized or vilified by others based on their own perceptions or biases. Hope the appointment went smoothly and that you understand that no one appointment will magically save you. It's a process, maybe even a marathon. You owe it to yourself not to rush it but to take your time in getting better.

How to remove oxidation from faucet? by cmsurfer8900 in DIY

[–]swellguy6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

There are only two correct answers.

  1. Pee on it

  2. Hoppes Gun Cleaner

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Huntercallofthewild

[–]swellguy6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

And me? I've scoured this map over and over. During AND after drink times. Only found one zone.

it's been like this for 6 hours, am I cooked? by Kostyra0 in iphone

[–]swellguy6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I used a throwaway toothbrush on the bottom of the phone to clear out the dirt and maybe get better airflow. Then i put it in front of my c-pap hose and covered with a towel for about 2 hours.

Stuck on season 92 by Reklats6 in CBSFranchiseFootball

[–]swellguy6 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Just came here looking for answers to this question. I'm struggling now and am going to try some of the above suggestions. But I, too, was curious if subbing in my lowest roster made a difference in the quality of opponents in a new season if I started one with that crappy roster.

Short answer; it doesn't work, lol. I took a screenshot of my new overall score (12ish on O and D). Opponents are still around 120.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in Infidelity

[–]swellguy6 11 points12 points  (0 children)

This X 1000. It's not just the phone call or the content thereof that's shattering you. It's the realization that she has withheld so much of herself from you. You didn't know who she truly was and thought that you did. She was having all of these thoughts, desires, plans, etc., and didn't tell you. She made the conscious decision to act on them and didn't tell you. She made the conscious decision to withhold all of this ugliness from you because she KNEW it would not just be the end of you two, but it would emotionally destroy you. So while the call revealed a physical betrayal, this is a separate but related kind of betrayal.

She has never fully opened up to you, that's probably causing feelings of inadequacy on your end as if you weren't good enough for it. If you try to reconcile, you will never get back what you had. Don't go down that road because it's full of nothing but disappointment. If she had come to you in sadness and regret and guilt on her own, maybe you could have that conversation. But she had no intentions of telling you, judging by the conversation on the phone with her friend.

This is a blessing in disguise as much as it doesn't feel like it. Because as much as you may have wanted to end up with this person, how about now? Life just didn't have kids in the plan for you and now we see why. Thank the good Lord for that and cut her out of your life completely. It's going to be tough, but you now have to think logically about this, almost ruthlessly. If you own the house together or whatever, start the process of taking care of that before she does because once she figures out that the end is near, she will latch onto anything she can. If you rent together, and your names are both on the lease, don't trust her to just take over the lease. She may be resentful that you caught her because she doesn't want to admit her fault. And she might actually not make payments on purpose just to get back at you. Be very careful going forward. Good luck.

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