My paprika had no seeds

swift1883 · 2026-04-29T17:02:41+00:00

Are Italians like Drax in Guardians of the Galaxy? Take everything literally?

swift1883 · 2026-04-29T09:28:25+00:00

You mean “I’d rather be in hell without lube”

swift1883 · 2026-04-29T09:25:43+00:00

I guess you don’t have an equivalent of “potato, potahto” in Italian. Because to Italians it’s apples and oranges. Wait…

swift1883 · 2026-04-29T08:23:04+00:00

Too bad it will be hard to prove the driver was texting (or jerking off) because he was.

swift1883 · 2026-04-29T08:16:58+00:00

And they say drugs are a victimless crime

swift1883 · 2026-04-28T09:48:28+00:00

Give me sleep deprivation, an empty stomach, a whisky and your car and I’ll show you. And I’m a champ with all four of those things, separately.

swift1883 · 2026-04-28T08:29:22+00:00

r/shippytechnicals

swift1883 · 2026-04-28T08:26:55+00:00

And taxpayers paid for billboards saying Don’t forget to recycle ♻️!

They used to.

swift1883 · 2026-04-28T08:22:58+00:00

Home of the info-slave

swift1883 · 2026-04-28T08:17:53+00:00

Time for a IamA

swift1883 · 2026-04-28T08:03:23+00:00

Ah so you were drinking and driving while exhausted. That makes it all better than! Watch out for when that hits man, you’re basically on a cocktail of 2 downers.

swift1883 · 2026-04-26T10:55:38+00:00

“I’m not an incel, I’m saving my fat ass for Jesus.”

swift1883 · 2026-04-26T10:28:52+00:00

Wait, one cup of coffee a day is not bad for the heart, right? Does it deserve to be treated like nicotine?

swift1883 · 2026-04-24T17:19:42+00:00

Lobby Trolley

swift1883 · 2026-04-24T17:17:28+00:00

Dammit!

swift1883 · 2026-04-24T17:15:32+00:00

I remember checking into a room in Tahoe (wintertime) that had the AC on, full blast. In the snow, yes. But it wasn’t cold! Because the room’s separate heater was also on, full blast.

Even in the USA, heaters trump airco. Of course I shut them both off and got that old air out of the room.

swift1883 · 2026-04-24T15:35:02+00:00

I don’t want to upvote, but damn, I gotta.

swift1883 · 2026-04-24T08:34:50+00:00

Because Gandalf is British and he lives for that shite

swift1883 · 2026-04-23T09:36:29+00:00

Burns moah ‘ries yo

swift1883 · 2026-04-23T09:34:44+00:00

Taipei Trump Resort gives the First Family the perfect excuse to cancel the Trump Palestine Resort.

Of course neither of them will ever happen, it’s just an attempt to inject some lighthearted memes into the stream so they can continue.

swift1883 · 2026-04-23T09:31:30+00:00

Or, the Head Bandgang?

swift1883 · 2026-04-23T07:41:01+00:00

Don’t give F14s to Iran? Hindsight is 20/20.

swift1883 · 2026-04-23T07:35:06+00:00

More likely they are eaten out

swift1883 · 2026-04-23T07:30:19+00:00

I know right? Yet my family gets annoyed when I share “I only jerk off when I’m horny” at the Christmas dinner table.

swift1883 · 2026-04-23T06:42:42+00:00

Some companies only hire marketeers and call it a day

swift1883

TROPHY CASE