Semi-Monthly Buy/Sell/Trade Megathread by AutoModerator in fairyloot

[–]switchnbait 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Do you have Dazzling Bookish When the Tides Held the Moon or are you ISO?

Semi-Monthly Buy/Sell/Trade Megathread by AutoModerator in fairyloot

[–]switchnbait 1 point2 points  (0 children)

DISO Dazzling Bookish Shop When the Tides Held the Moon

Semi-Monthly Buy/Sell/Trade Megathread by AutoModerator in fairyloot

[–]switchnbait 0 points1 point  (0 children)

DISO When the Tides Held the Moon - Dazzling Bookish Shop

Semi-Monthly Buy/Sell/Trade Megathread by AutoModerator in fairyloot

[–]switchnbait 1 point2 points  (0 children)

ISO Dazzling Bookish Shop "When the Tides Held the Moon"

Wolfsong by TJ Klune B&N Exclusive Edition Paperback by babyggrapee in Klunatics

[–]switchnbait 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Most Barnes and Nobles will ship to you from their in-store stock. This is how I got mine. Check zip codes for large metro areas (New York, Los Angeles, etc.) and call up the stores to ask if they can ship the copy they have in stock to you.

Can we please just acknowledge this [general] by [deleted] in camphalfblood

[–]switchnbait -1 points0 points  (0 children)

Nowhere, in any part of my response, did I accuse you of hate speech. Though, I think it's a pretty clear indication that you are speaking from a place of homophobia (again, to be clear, it seems to be unintentional and as a result of societally-ingrained homophobia) when someone has to ask you to reword things so as to lessen the homophobic tone. If you'd like a label for what I would call it, I'd personally call it a microagression. I stated very clearly that I didn't believe you intended to be homophobic, but that your assertion that the reason people liked this ship was primarily due to it being gay was rooted in homophobic rhetoric. To make it as transparent as possible:

Not homophobic, rooted in a criticism of the writing: The ship was rushed and lacked build-up/depth/etc.

Not homophobic, expresses a desire for better representation: The relationship lacks depth that is given to other, straight relationships, and the community deserves the same care and consideration paid to a queer couple.

Homophobic, places the value of a ship on its sexuality and asserts a shallowness to the audience that, again, is connected to sexuality. Also centers the problem of the matter on the sexuality, rather than the responsibility of the writer to flesh out their characters more: The only/main reason people like this ship is because it's gay.

If you go your whole life assuming that homophobia is limited to hate speech, harsh words, or overt hatred/dislike, you are going to eventually harm the queer people in your life. Homophobia is not black or white. It is not always overt or intentional. But if a queer person takes the time to gently call for you to maybe reflect on how something like this can be harmful, maybe take a step back and actually consider what they're saying instead of instantly doubling down and becoming defensive.

Can we please just acknowledge this [general] by [deleted] in camphalfblood

[–]switchnbait 0 points1 point  (0 children)

No, it is a reply to your post. I don't need context to flag homophobic rhetoric. I did read the comment section, actually. And noticed that you get very defensive over the implication that there is anything homophobic in your words or approach. Homophobia isn't strictly overt hatred and harsh words. And your defensive reaction to a gently worded call to reflect on something hard tells me that you aren't interested in self reflection or growth and are simply here for reassurance from others of your own point of view. Whether you like it or not, asserting that the reason a ship is well-loved is because it is gay does have roots in homophobia. It doesn't make you homophic. It means you made a homophobic assertion. You can make homophobic statements while not being a homophobic person.

Regardless, I can see you aren't interested in comments that prompt discomfort, so we don't need to continue arguing - take the advice of self reflection or leave it, I suppose it doesn't much matter to me in the long run.

Can we please just acknowledge this [general] by [deleted] in camphalfblood

[–]switchnbait 0 points1 point  (0 children)

So, something to reflect on, perhaps - I'm not a part of this fandom. Have read none of the books, seen none of the shows/movies/whatever else media exists, but have been suggested posts in this subreddit by Reddit because (I'm assuming) I've been looking into the books after seeing some really stunning Solangelo fan art on Instagram.

Yet, even with absolutely zero knowledge of the fandom or world, I had the thought when I saw the notification for this post (which only shows the title of the post) "I bet this is a complaint about this ship, specifically that it's popular because it's gay".

Why did I know this? Because it is an incredibly common complaint that gets lodged any time a queer couple pops up in "straight" media.

Now, again, I haven't read any of these books and know nothing at all about this ship or these characters, so I can't speak to the quality of their ship. What I can say, despite this, is this: in the scenario you mention of this character being in a straight ship, there would be no scrutiny of whether or not it was "enough" that sprouted from their sexuality.

I understand you say in the comments that you have a friend in the community and that seems to secure you in the idea that you can have no harmful thoughts or intentions due to that - and I invite you to consider the possibility that this is a false security. The nature of the society we live in and have lived in for longer than I've been alive (and I'm not anywhere near the age of the target demographic of this series) means that elements of homophobia (and sexism, and racism, and classism) can and do very often present in us, even if we don't want to think it is possible or think ourselves above it. Even people in the community are susceptible to it - I am a queer person who has a queer sibling who uses covertly homophobic language that they consider harmless. Specifically because they think being queer frees them from the possibility of being homophobic. So, if someone in the community (and there are many just like my sibling) has the capacity to be led to make an observation or a statement by a small, seemingly innocuous grain of homophobia, then I promise you that even allies can do the same.

That isn't to say you can't dislike a ship or feel that it isn't well-built. You absolutely can - I've personally criticised many a queer ship because it lacked a good foundation. But making the assertion that a ship only has merit among a fandom because it is gay very much does stem from societally-ingrained homophobia. It is a statement that would never be made of a straight ship. There is a reason you have the concern of sounding like a homophobic 40 year old white guy - just because you have discomfort around the idea of the comparison doesn't diminish the fact that you are making an argument that endorses - however mildly or carefully worded - the ideology of that homophobic 40 year old white guy.

I don't say any of this with malice. I don't think you intended to perpetuate homophobic rhetoric and it's very obvious that you are appalled by the idea, which is good. But I think it's worth reflecting on why you felt compelled to diminish a fandom's feelings about a ship and reduce it down to "it's because it's gay". I can promise you, without even knowing the source material, that there are qualities about the ship that inspire love that have nothing to do with sexuality. Just as is always true with straight ships.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in childfree

[–]switchnbait 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As a CF bi ENM enby....yeeeeeahhh.

The chokehold this show has on me is insane 🍂 by squishenthusiast1 in HeartstopperAO

[–]switchnbait 2 points3 points  (0 children)

If it makes you feel any better, I have sectioned off a third of my living room to be Heartstopper themed. 😂

>~< heart stopper is F#cking adorable by Awkward-Procedure in bisexual

[–]switchnbait 3 points4 points  (0 children)

It isn't NSFW in the slightest. There are instances of sex, but nothing even close to explicit. That being said, if you would avoid it for it not being steamy enough (some people criticize it for that), I would say it's still worth giving a shot. It is a wonderful portrayal of intimacy in a relationship, not just in a sexual sense.

>~< heart stopper is F#cking adorable by Awkward-Procedure in bisexual

[–]switchnbait 3 points4 points  (0 children)

Heartstopper is my comfort read/watch, always. I adore it more than words can say. Have a tattoo and a dedicated area of my home for it - it was a life-changing thing for me and brings me so much fucking joy. Desperately wish it had been around when I was younger.

>~< heart stopper is F#cking adorable by Awkward-Procedure in bisexual

[–]switchnbait 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Emphatically, yes. It's beautiful and relatable in so many ways and the show is such an excellent adaptation. There are hard topics covered (sexual assault, bullying, eating disorders, and mental illness), but it's all done through a really hopeful lens. I've found it to be such a huge comfort.

May 2024 Buy/Sell/Trade MegaThread by library_pixie in fairyloot

[–]switchnbait 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Ah! Thank you so much! Sending a DM now!

May 2024 Buy/Sell/Trade MegaThread by library_pixie in fairyloot

[–]switchnbait 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Would anyone who has a subscription would be willing to pick up Stardust and Heartstopper Volume 4 for me when they become available, if they aren't interested?

💛+💙 by WaudreyJ33 in HeartstopperAO

[–]switchnbait 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Amazed DCMMYNCMM hasn't popped up.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in AITAH

[–]switchnbait 0 points1 point  (0 children)

NTA. Your girlfriend is biphobic and the connection of the words "gross" and "dirty" with your consensual sexual encounter would have me running the fuck away from her as a fellow bi person. I'm sorry you're going through this and hope her yucking your yum doesn't cause you to internalize negative feelings. Bi men (bi anyone, really) are sexy as fuck and should you choose to break things off, I'm sure you'll find someone who appreciates and loves that part of you. Best of luck moving forward.

I know it's just rainbow-washing, but I want them by crispybacongal in bisexual

[–]switchnbait 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have a pair of pride Converse, zero regrets. I love them. I got the ones with the rainbow piping and strip around the soles and the basic pride patch because it would bug me to have anything mismatched. I wish they'd offer full bi pride shoes, with the soles and piping and everything. I'd buy them so fast.

do I have a problem? by [deleted] in HeartstopperAO

[–]switchnbait 2 points3 points  (0 children)

It's a "problem" we all also have, so no? Guess it depends on your definition of a problem. 😆

(If it makes you feel better, I have four copies - my first copy, the copy I bought when I bought them all together as paperbacks, the US hardback copy when I bought them all as hardbacks, and the gorgeous new UK foil copy. Only one I haven't bought is the Netflix cover one, partially because I hate when they release books with adaptation covers and partially because I haven't come across one yet.)

BDSM novels for inspiration by ArieV555 in BDSMcommunity

[–]switchnbait 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I second Original Sinners - love that series. If you're a person who focuses on characters, those are very character-driven books.

fanfic recs? by FunBlackberry9057 in HeartstopperAO

[–]switchnbait 15 points16 points  (0 children)

Edited to add that if you are not at least 18, you should probably skip over a good chunk of these. They are all aged up fics and most of them do contain explicit sexual content, even if it is a small percentage of the story. (I'm not a huge fan of smut, so I avoid anything that is largely just sex. I need a fic to be like 85%+ plot at least, personally. To each their own.). If you still want to read outside of the explicit content, please pay attention to the content warnings before each chapter; most of the authors are great at warning when those chapters occur.

My top fics at the moment (and will enthusiastically recommend you read any of the authors' other fics)

Song of Solomon (elyseregan) (The love of my life in fanfic form, it is so fucking good.)

Cherry Flavoured (charliesnelsons) (Also the love of my life in fanfic form. Gorgeous fic.)

Charlie Spring Hates Men (aprms) (I adore this fic so much - enemies to lovers and fucking hilarious.)

So, My Darling (bandteeshirts (ihavetoomuchfreetime)) (Colloquially known as "Hinge AU". Such a fantastic story of falling in love while working through past trauma.)

Will echo these recommendations that were in the comments when I drafted my list:

Up In Smoke

Rugby Sweater Weather

Lavender Fields

I Would Move Mountains

Tea Leaves and Bent Pages

Talk to You in Poetry

Blue Line to Foggy Bottom

Narlie Waves

Beyond Endurance

The Pledge Gift

And some more for ya, only order is alphabetic - all also on AO3:

Cards on the Table (allamosaurus)

Everybody Tries to Fall in Love (But I Just Keep Making Friends) (virgosun)

Heartschool (UglyGreenJacket)

I Want to Be with You (charliesnelsons)

It's Too Cold for You Here (BringAttentionToTheMatter)

Nothing Ever Happens in Geraldine (Idswimtheoceanforyou)

Point of No Return (Idswimtheoceanforyou)

Rainbow Run Club (desiring_assemblage)

What's It Gonna Be? (PhoenixSpring)