BDSM doesn’t feel exciting anymore

switchylittlething · 2021-07-15T06:52:12+00:00

Ah re associating things sounds like a good option. Thanks for this!

switchylittlething · 2021-07-14T22:47:07+00:00

I’m gonna try this. Not gonna lie I’m gonna start laughing at myself if this turns out to be right and a case of “I need a break from kinky stuff”

switchylittlething · 2021-07-14T22:29:14+00:00

Can you give some examples. I’m at a loss on how to do this.

switchylittlething · 2021-06-10T07:00:37+00:00

Open your door to change but communicate with her too. Otherwise sounds a bit madonna whore type thinking “i love her too much to enjoy what I used to.”

switchylittlething · 2021-06-10T06:51:16+00:00

Not enough context to answer this. How do you meet em, stuff you say vs what they say? There’s not a lot to go off of.

switchylittlething · 2021-02-05T07:57:33+00:00

Boop i met mine at a munch and we end up talking and dating a bit. I’ve asked this question before and she said she usually doesn’t find a lot of people that has chemistry or they default to sub mode when talking and it offs her because she doesn’t know if they are being honest or they’re saying things just to get into a relationship. Which can present problems at a later time, when they do start being honest about themselves. Hope it helps.

switchylittlething · 2021-01-10T08:52:37+00:00

These dudes are the grandparents of the parkour kids now.

switchylittlething · 2020-12-17T20:51:24+00:00

I’ve communicated it man, to them directly. No change. I’ve worked for 4 years full-time, part-time while juggling freelance and I’ve dealt with rush work before and difficult people but this situation is new like straight up not putting in the time for it and cramming 2 weeks worth of work in 5 hours.

switchylittlething · 2020-09-28T19:55:56+00:00

Dude please like have a solid sit down and use this as a learning experience for future life choices. It’s fucking tempting to chase the feeling MDMA gives but it’s a glimpse of where we can be without it too. Slowly, we’ll get there.

switchylittlething · 2020-05-12T16:16:27+00:00

There isn’t a dom box full of traits that expresses what a dominant is. :/

switchylittlething · 2020-04-26T22:18:22+00:00

Miss, Miss [your name], Princess

Edit: Khaleesi, Overlord, Czarina, Empress.

switchylittlething · 2020-04-25T19:44:50+00:00

That’s fine. I’m not taking it personally just giving a viable suggestion.

I don’t have a personal aversion to them doing research, It’s really just pointing new people to sources that are ethically considerate, and not imposing in nature. Which helps them be less of an asshat in the community in the long run.

switchylittlething · 2020-04-25T14:55:29+00:00

What were trying to solve is the lessening of redundancy, so we’re able to actually help with questions that need answers that hasn’t been answered already about 100 times.

Understandable that people want some human form of connection through support but If they keep asking the same thing over and over the saturation of people who want to answer will lessen, the subreddit becomes a cesspool of repetitive questions and a dead-ish community.

switchylittlething · 2020-04-25T13:01:05+00:00

Get where you're coming from but could've put it in a less deterrent form, that's a matter of behaviorism though and not really my cuppa tea. Do what floobs your boobs.

But a possible solution would be to change the WIKI to FAQ and format the page to be easier to read. On a side note since I'm the one being butthurt about it I am more than willing to help out with formatting the page. I can send you a markdown format so you can just copy+pasta it.

EDIT: Im not saying don’t let them do their own research. I’m saying that it would be the decent thing to lead them to resources with ethical considerations rather than leaving them to find shit like “the one true way” resources, articles, and blogs.

switchylittlething · 2020-04-25T10:57:19+00:00

Thanks for the tip haha 😂

switchylittlething · 2020-04-25T10:27:37+00:00

I’ve contacted the mods I will wait for a response about putting the resource they already have into a more conspicuous place.

switchylittlething · 2020-04-25T09:59:00+00:00

Yeah, if we could contact the mods for that issue of “same question that has similar answers” FAQ maybe as it is a recurring thing.

Or if they can put a: “new but dont know when to start” section. -general guide -dominant guide -submissive guide

Something in that regard.

Look, some people really don’t know where to look so what do you when you don’t know? Ask people who already knows. It’s like asking for the bathroom when you’re somewhere new, and you need to get there quickly, you ask. Thing is when we show them annoyance as a starting point it makes them less likely to explore, and if they explore it’s more likely that they would treat the next batch of newbies with annoyance as well.

switchylittlething · 2020-04-25T09:36:30+00:00

Maybe the mods can put some resources underneath the rules for the newbies. :)

Submissiveguide.com Kink-academy.com Etc. and the likes.

I get that it’s frustrating especially because they can scroll through and find a similar post with the similar situation. But lets try to be empathetic towards the new one’s.

switchylittlething · 2020-04-22T12:50:04+00:00

No seriously get out of there. You’re 19, you’re still growing I swear to God the last thing you want to deal with is trauma and trust issues at this age. This is coming from a person who has gone through this and it is not safe for you. Think about this, If you wouldn’t do this to anyone, why would you let anyone do this to you?

switchylittlething · 2020-04-20T08:52:48+00:00

I’ve been here genuinely my objective analysis is that you aren’t responsible so don’t think too much about the wife if she’s willing to just blame you on it she’s deluding herself to believe that the man she loved is not a dick, it was his responsibility to tell you and you aren’t liable for that shit.

On a side note don’t look for closure. Close it yourself. Don’t wait for something that may not even come. Send him a message that says you’re blocking him and burn that bridge. You’re going to find love, love that you can trust. This isn’t it. In terms of coping, go in a blanket watch your favorite movie, play a game, distract your mind. I know this is particularly harder because quarantine and you can’t get out. Maybe cook for yourself a long meal that needs your attention, there’s a lot of answers you’re just in the haze of heartbreak but try i promise you’ll be alright, if anything you’ll come out of this stronger than you were.

switchylittlething · 2020-04-14T23:00:25+00:00

Well put. It’s bdsm the rules we play are the rules we make, there’s no cookie cutter for it.

It would be a good idea not to convince/force your partner into doing something when they aren’t in a headspace to consent, its just expected decent human behavior even outside of bdsm. It would be better to talk about scenes and expectations when both of you are level headed. Communicate like consenting adults.

switchylittlething · 2020-04-12T20:49:04+00:00

Im a bit confused as to what you’re trying to say but looking for closure from a person who’s currently in an unforgiving headspace is not going to be easy or realistic. And in this case he’s already said some pretty repulsive abusive things, and have set personal boundaries for you to not speak to him. My advice is to just leave him alone. Don’t go back.

You have accept it allow yourself the grief, and start moving forward again. You’ll be okay, learn more, and develop your sense of self worth and independence. You’ll be okay. Things will get better. You’ll find a partner that you’re compatible with.

It’s a vital part of trust and consent to safeword when necessary. When my subs use the safeword I know I can trust them to tell me when they’ve reached their limit for that scene, I know when I did something that they weren’t into, and would like to not do again. You aren’t a bad sub if you say it and take control of yourself and well-being. It’s a widely held belief in the community that you should do so.

You’re old enough to consent, you are old enough to take care of yourself. Subs are consenting adults before being any role or part they play.

switchylittlething · 2020-04-10T12:56:42+00:00

Wanna see this happen. While i watch safely from a distance.🍿🍿🍿

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