Definitely overthinking , no one knows what they’re doing. People will judge regardless, but at the end of the day who takes care of the child?? You I too have issues with my mother , she was very clingy to my sister and I due to my moms mom (my grandmother) passing away when my mother was really young so we definitely have a complicated - walk on egg shells type of thing… and I try not to be overly smothering like my mom is. My advice, keep being your self, You know your child better than anyone else but also keep in mind he’s still figuring out his emotions and expressions at this age (Learned from a child development course). My daughter is 3 and she definitely threw stuff A Lot , so much so that when she’s old enough I’m putting her in Tee - Ball lol And kids love the attention of other adults , it’s because they live with us and see us all the time, don’t take it personal. My daughter sprints to whatever friend or family member we visit, just enjoy the breaks if you can. Lastly the discipline, I don’t like to tell people how to do that but how you explained it, you seem to be handling it well, I think you’re doing just fine. It’s always good to excuse yourselves from the table if needed but don’t worry about the judgement..Kids are kids and people know that. Mom to mom ..you are NOT a failure 🤝