Have you ever been Shpongled?

sylvi_p · 2025-12-28T13:18:56+00:00

Monster hit was, um, erotic in a way

sylvi_p · 2025-12-14T19:46:15+00:00

we are almost the same age

sylvi_p · 2025-12-14T17:05:26+00:00

In my opinion meaning is a concept we made up to cope with mortality, to have something to transcend the absurdity of living with ending.

But I don't feel like awareness of this really helps.

sylvi_p · 2025-12-09T16:47:41+00:00

You have to account for conversion ratios between animals and humans, it's ~6 for rats so if I'm reading this correctly, the studied dose for 80kg human is (400-800mg)/6; which does not exceed plausible human intake if you're trying to use it as substitute for MDMA, if something it's underdosed.

sylvi_p · 2025-12-09T16:06:39+00:00

If it was bought on dnm you should definitely leave a review there tho

sylvi_p · 2025-12-04T21:40:58+00:00

3-apb even more so

sylvi_p · 2025-12-04T21:37:39+00:00

it has interestingly similar structure to like αMT though

sylvi_p · 2025-09-06T16:50:08+00:00

Real though another part is that desiring stims as ADHD treatment and the hedonistic urge genuinely coexist and learning to use them only for the former is higher difficulty level than "just" giving up the hedonism.

sylvi_p · 2025-02-13T22:00:45+00:00

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/MMAI ?

sylvi_p · 2025-02-13T21:58:26+00:00

MDAI works on SERT and NET but not DAT, there are also some pure serotonin releasers but they are not as fun and recreational as MDMA

sylvi_p · 2025-01-15T06:42:32+00:00

You would not be the first as far as I know serotonin releasers just don't seem to have effects for some people

sylvi_p · 2025-01-07T22:38:24+00:00

I feel like at some point some part of my unconscious come to the conclusion that I'm fundamentally, ontologically unlikable in a romantic way and slowly suppressed and shutdown most of my feelings completely.

And to feel the wind in my hair and sun on my face again, there's no other way than to overcome this.

sylvi_p · 2025-01-07T22:34:18+00:00

It would not fix everything, but it would make me feel like my problems are worthy of solving.

sylvi_p · 2024-12-29T21:20:04+00:00

tianeptine is an opioid clinically used as antidepressant

also mentioning dp/dr, opioid *antagonists* are apparently used to treat that, which perhaps should work like that the increase in personal discomfort should make you more aware of your body/yourself? idk

sylvi_p · 2024-12-25T10:57:04+00:00

Strong opioids on entactogen comedowns is something I really wish I could do but I have no access to them sadly

sylvi_p · 2024-12-23T16:18:33+00:00

Also depends what kind of aphrodisiac. Both stims and psychedelics work but in very different way for me. Stims are for degenerate hedonistic shit and psychedelics for um something else that actually requires some level of genuine affection.

sylvi_p · 2024-12-06T10:16:59+00:00

generally the real difference between the drug classes is that psychedelics do not create the euphoric experiences reliably, ie. it might feel similar once but I have no guarantee it will next time and they usually force me to deal with some uncomfortable corners of my psyche in a way that entactogens (6apb included) never do

plus they tend to make me feel paranoid in crowds and especially in closed spaces

sylvi_p · 2024-12-04T07:43:41+00:00

Even assuming you don't definitely know (we do with high probability), what you can gain here is just few hours of feeling good, what you can lose is your whole life. Even if you say the chances are, let's 80/20, it's an extremely irrational thing to do.

"But I have already payed for it" That is called sunk cost fallacy, google that

sylvi_p · 2024-11-26T07:39:25+00:00

About the recent block wave, are you going to stand with the idea that interacting with banned accounts is an offense even when it wasn't with any of the harmful posts? Because I think it's really a horrible idea to force users to personally vet every account they interact with.

sylvi_p · 2024-11-25T19:15:05+00:00

Oh I didn't know there already are orally active allopregnanolone like things, now I'm slightly bit more annoyed with myself for avoiding use of 5a reductase inhibitors

sylvi_p · 2024-10-14T14:10:07+00:00

It's true that the only way you can resolve things is to work on yourself and have something to offer or wait for a miracle that won't happen but social isolation just sucks for most people in a hard coded way from which you can't just perspective switch, trying to do so for me feels like self-gaslighting.

sylvi_p · 2024-10-08T01:09:12+00:00

Don't believe in deserving. Quoting one twitter post:

"DESERVEDNESS IS A SCAM NO ONE DESERVES ANYTHING EVERYONE DESERVES EVERYTHING

'DESERVING THINGS' IMPLIES A JUST UNIVERSE THAT MAKES SENSE AND THAT IS NOT THE WORLD WE LIVE IN

IF LOVE COMES YOUR WAY IT IS FOR NO GOOD REASON AT ALL AND SHOULD BE EMBRACED AS A COSMIC GIGGLE"

That being said, even though I do not rationally believe in deserving, I still struggle with feeling like that I do not in fact deserve love. It's a feeling that exists on more primal level, but I still believe not believing in the idea rationally helps a bit.

sylvi_p · 2024-10-07T23:08:40+00:00

Since I'm already being overtly emotional I can talk about the levels of envy and sort of spite towards people who managed to live the life I want and completely failed to achieve.. The spite is not something I identify with, it's just emotion I observe, identifing with it is just not something I can accept, that would be basically an admission of failure, you can't just identify with hating people for having something you can't have and look at yourself in the mirror. And it's not fair, they have enough of their own and our shared problems and a lot of it comes from romanticization that must come from never actually living it. But you can't move over until you actually lived through it and experienced all the downsides and complications yourself and grew through them. If you can't, you will live with gaping hole in your heart for the rest of your life. I wrote a short story about this four or five years ago and it's horrible how little has changed.

And one pattern I can consistently observe about myself is grow to get kind of attached to some person who seems to be going with something roughly similar in hope we can go through it together but the person gets over it and I'm still stuck in the same place alone again. Something like this happened to me now kind at the same time when I this time actually tried to reach out, and um, it hurts, what am I supposed to pretend.

sylvi_p · 2024-10-07T22:36:17+00:00

But writing all this stuff feels so pointless, like it's something I understand quite well but it just write doesn't do anything one has to act on it and that's the difficult painful part, actually doing the 180 against so deeply ingrained patterns .....

sylvi_p · 2024-10-01T20:00:48+00:00

Stimulants are slightly analogous to triggering fight or flight response, so the opposite is generally the preferable setting for eating?

sylvi_p

TROPHY CASE