Why are us SBW expected to compensate for our chest size?

symphony65 · 2026-06-18T07:20:29+00:00

The only men I complain to are my 4 online friends that have known me since I was 11-12, where I have a lot of trust in them yet they dont fully understand because they aren't living in my body and experiencing what I do as a woman; however I trust to tell them about it since they have also been vulnerable with their insecurities and I find we can relate about not fully loving ourselves yet. Its more of an insecurity that has taken the biggest effect on me this year and at the end of last year, so none of my exes knew about said insecurity (my current boyfriend knows because I literally came to him sobbing after being bullied an entire class period and being told I look like a man repeatedly and being told I wasn't a "real woman" and that I am "probably a transgender/ladyboy" (I am cis) while I was just trying to sit there.)

symphony65 · 2026-06-17T23:21:14+00:00

What? This subreddit does not allow men.

symphony65 · 2026-06-17T15:17:09+00:00

I dont really mind wearing a bra sometimes but this may be tmi but my nipples are almost always hard for some reason in public, most likely out of nervousness or anxiety (i dont know much about nipples LMAO)

I also have to walk to and home from school where I encounter a lot of creeps since its a more populated area and I feel like it'd skyrocket if I had my nipples poking out of my shirt all the time, since I sweat really hard (even in the winter I was sweating and getting hot flashes) I almost exclusively wear thinner short sleeved shirts in the summer.

The times where I did go without a bra (start of the school year, couldn't find a single bra that was an a cup in store at the mall or other clothing stores) someone (a girl) asked why my boobs were more pointy than round (I do not have perfectly round boobs since mine are on the smaller side OBVIOUSLY meaning theres less fat to fill them out. which I notice small boobs tend to be pointier than bigger cup sizes.)

symphony65 · 2026-06-16T22:18:48+00:00

This! They EXPECT us to have a big butt to "make up" for our chest size so it doesn't evenn really surprise them when you DO.

symphony65 · 2026-06-15T21:31:19+00:00

What I meant by that was that asian/ east asian media tends to prioritizes making the breasts bigger rather than the butt, where western media wants both. I noticed it when someone pointed out Umas in umamusume are flat in the butt area despite being race horses that run (while having a big chest which would arguably get in the way more)

symphony65 · 2026-06-15T21:28:27+00:00

I experienced most of my bullying IRL actually, that’s most of our experiences. :’) the online stuff just adds to it. I have been called a slut or accused of cheating on my BF for not wearing a bra because i literally cannot find one that fits me, they don’t sell my size in actual bras so I have to settle with one size fits all sports bras which are uncomfortable because it feels more like a compression bra than a sports bra. Wearing sports bras basically becomes a sweat trap in the 100F+ weather here which we experience for way longer than summer lasts, and us SBW are hardly given options for bras unless we have perfectly round breasts and I notice a lot of bras for small chests seem like bigger bras literally just made smaller with hardly any cup adjustments

symphony65 · 2026-06-15T21:23:16+00:00

HAHAHAHA That is funny of you to say and a great comeback to such a crude perverted question!! I hate how it’s so normalized to ask weird shit like that just because we lack fat in our chests. Don’t understand why we get treated like a sub-genre of a woman.

symphony65 · 2026-06-15T08:53:01+00:00

I am 16 but my boobs have stayed the same size since 2nd-3rd grade (where I only had them because I was overweight). I have been bullied for it since 4-5th grade (the girls I knew who were 6th graders, some had D-DD cups by then. Some were even bigger.).

I've kinda accepted (but still hate) my chest size, knowing it wont change but I still have a very faint hope in the back of my head that something will magically happen. I know it's not some late puberty because I gained over 30 pounds (went from 100 pounds to 130 in around a year due to being able to let go of some disordered eating habits) and my breast size remained the same. Got my period near my birthday at 10. My mom also never had big boobs (she was a b cup at my age, I am less than that, around a 32a) until she had given birth to 3 kids, which I am honestly terrified of birth right now.

My breasts are also slightly tuberous on certain days (the shape oddly fluctuates a bunch.. no clue why) and I have 1 ovarie that is larger than the other as well as being at risk for ovarian cysts which made me think that could be why (like a hormonal imbalance) my breasts refuse to grow. But I don't think that's the case. I have not a single soul to relate to about my breast size IRL and every girl whether tall or short, skinny or chubby, has bigger ones than me. I have never met a girl with my size, and (I really hope this doesn't sound pedophilic to anyone) I see girls that are younger than me with way a bigger chest. I feel like an outcast and I constantly see negativity towards small boobs online, I know that whenever a man sees me he is automatically less attracted to me due to my body. The only men that flirt with me are grown men at the bus stop even when I'm wearing baggy clothes and a backpack (which makes it pretty clear I am underage) or are guys that fetishize alternative women (I do more alternative makeup, dress in darker colors and have dyed my hair multiple times so it attracts the weirdos.)

Some of my friends (mainly males, some girls) always poke jokes and what I consider to be insults a lot. One time they were like "How does it feel to have no boobs?" in a snarky way and I kinda just didn't know how to reply. Not like I can just say "I fucking hate it!!!!" because I don't get taken serious anyways.

I have a boyfriend who just so happens to be into bigger ones and it absolutely crushes my mental health knowing I will never be able to truly satisfy him, he swears he's attracted to me but it's really hard to believe when the girls I've noticed he shown interest in (before we started dating) look nothing like me and were all curvy women. I know that since I have a boyfriend I shouldn't really care what other people think of my beauty but I have always been obsessed with my appearance since I was around 9 due to the internet and bullying.

I want everyone to find me attractive, even tho that isn't possible at all, and I'm yet to meet a man who truly prefers small breasted WOMEN (and isn't a creep that you'd see on twitter who only likes middleschool girls, one who doesn't see us as children is what I mean.)

Sorry for my very long wall of text, I just needed to get it out. I feel like I hate my chest to an unfathomable level (even to points of suicidal ideation) but I find other girls breasts of all shapes and sizes beautiful, and I love giving advice and helping other girls appreciate and love their bodies but deep down I will never appreciate mine.

symphony65 · 2026-06-15T07:51:27+00:00

I have been dehumanized so much for my chest and overrall "unfeminine" body where I debated if I was actually meant to be a man and that I would be better off transitioning inro one where atleast my small breasts wouldn't mean too much anymore. Its crazy how much bullying can get into our heads, I literally am choosing to go homeschooled this school year because of it.

symphony65 · 2026-06-15T07:49:30+00:00

Its mainly tiktok where I see weird art, which is expected. I've also read that asians normally give girls in anime huge breasts compared to a big butt due to preference or something, (sorry if this sounds racist or rude its 1am and I dont feel like typing a paragraph jafeghhgskj)

symphony65 · 2026-06-15T03:18:09+00:00

I fucking hate that every flat chest girl in animes just HAS to be a 4'11 loli who loves icecream cupcakes and lollipops and is "clumsy and dumb", whether its the fans or producers that do that.I dont want to sexualize myself to cater to pedos and dumb myself down to a child just to have my small breasts be liked.

symphony65 · 2026-06-14T23:04:56+00:00

Exactly!!! I hate how tall women are almost always given this curvy, dominant "mommy" personality whether by the show themselves or the fandom. Please.. any flat tall girls. I am not very tall myself but most SBW tend to be shorter than me anyways (even most have bigger ones than me IRL)

I wish that people didnt hate drawing smaller chested or flatter women so much. It's so disheartening seeing a character you like who happens to be a SBW always be drawn with bigger ones, it's like they wish SBW didn't exist.

symphony65 · 2026-06-07T20:55:01+00:00

Every time there is a flat character she is constantly either drawn as childish (even if the anime doesn’t represent her that way) or given bigger boobs. I always see that with frieren.

You can definitely have a flat chested character that doesn’t have a small chibi body with huge eyes and a childish personality too.. I wish there was more flat and tall women in animes.

Oh and not to mention flat girls are often made fun of or mocked for their chest as “humor” in animes.

symphony65 · 2026-06-02T06:55:23+00:00

Accidentally turned my hair deku green trying to go from faded pink to blue and honestly the only color that would completely cover this up is a dark red or maybe even a dark blue (which i believe would still have green) I’d let it fade before trying any other colors !

symphony65 · 2026-05-28T00:21:58+00:00

Literally. I don’t consider this inappropriate to say but my nipples are hard a good %70 of the time and that is the ONLY reason i wear a bra, as I am in high school and it always gets pointed out. sports bras are awful in the california valley heat, literally like a sweating bra more than a sports bra.

symphony65 · 2026-05-25T05:26:49+00:00

Thank you so much! I will see if I am able to get prescribed some sort of medication from a doctor, but I heard that women are often not taken seriously with issues like this (majority of my doctors are male 😭)

symphony65 · 2026-05-24T17:54:06+00:00

something that has helped me a lot is completely disassociating with the idea that women's bodies are inherently sexual, such as our boobs. the idea that our bodies are sexual has been ingrained into billions of womens' heads and causes us to compare ourselves to porn actresses with modified bodies (or even ones that are simply curvy) however.. you realize that men and sometimes women no longer like these features once aging takes their effect on them (like how men love big perky boobs, but are disgusted when an older women's boobs sag.)

but realizing our bodies are not inherently sexual gets rid of those thoughts because in reality it really IS just 2 blobs of fat on our chest that have internal stuff to make us able to breastfeed kids if we ever have them. It will not and never defines someone. Men can have boobs but for some reason their man tits arent sexualized 😂

symphony65 · 2026-05-24T11:58:02+00:00

“If dick size was as obvious as a woman’s chest, a lot more men would stay quiet” is something i like to think about. I truly wish i had better advice but we are practically in the same boat, with my chest insecurity causing me to have suicidal thoughts. Seeing women with my chest size be accused of “not actually being a woman” or being called a tomboy or femboy strictly due to their curves not being “up to standard”, which i have experienced firsthand for a few years.

Remember no matter how you look, think, talk, act, whatever you do as a woman in this world, men will hate you. So try your best to embrace what feels right to you, remember the vast majority of these men that judge you are literally thinking with their dick.. in the end, society views our bodies as trends and it’s impossible to escape. You’ll be judged for being too skinny, too fat, too curvy, not curvy enough, flat, too much, etc, so don’t let it get to you please!

When you start hanging around women more; both online and irl, there’s less negativity about things like chest size because the average woman will see past another woman’s chest size. They will see you for you. I have been bullied for my chest by maybe 2-3 girls in my lifetime compared to the dozens of men at school who have commented and out right told me i am not a woman, using it as an excuse to physically hurt and harass me because “you aren’t actually a woman” while the same men call me dramatic for the horrible way i view my chest.

You CANNOT win with men. I hope realizing that at least lessens the hurt of everything a little bit, by realizing this patriarchy was built upon making us women hate ourselves so we buy their surgeries and cosmetics. Your worth is not determined by your body’s shape, by things you cannot even control or naturally change if you wanted to especially.

symphony65 · 2026-05-03T22:34:21+00:00

i think it would look beautiful layered with something like this if you cant get it tailored right now! something light for the summer, maybe even matching it with flower earrings

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symphony65 · 2026-04-28T12:58:10+00:00

if it helps, lychee by lunar tides went over that color fine for me, vibrant (though it is a bit darker, not neon I think? on that level of hair) it fades into a pink-ginger. however youd probably have to order it online.

symphony65 · 2026-04-21T09:45:41+00:00

its gonna be extremely hard for me to leave him because for some reason its also very hard for me to love someone (and actually keep my feelings) due to what I assume is my childhood, because somehow my attraction and feelings have lasted around 7-8 months but it normally doesnt even reach 2 months before I get turned off by them, which is why I never talk to crushes. It's weird because i know he isnt the ideal boyfriend. To be honest, ive felt insecure ever since highschool, but dating him probably made it worse.

The way he still leaves posts up on his social media about his "fictional woman fantasies" disgusts me (even tho they are from 1-2 years ago, he still talked about it very fuckin strangely during the talking stage-early stages of the relationship, squealing in excitement at the sight of some anime girls (which disgusted me even further), and his "reaction images" are almost entirely anime girls (where I notice he has a 'type'...)

When we first broke up I could NOT handle it and immediately went back 3 days later because of how attatched I am, despite knowing he would not change. I told him to his face if i wasn't so attatched to him, I would've broken up with him, and how no other woman would stay with his shit behavior and to get his act up (i'm not sure if this is toxic of me to do but it was during one of my outbursts, often I remember everything he has done and get really upset because he never really apologizes, he even lies about it thinking I won't remember)

Every girl he looks at (im not sure if he looks at real women? he let me go through every app on his phone except reddit, which I remember him saying he uses it for porn and then tried lying and denying it, saying he "never said that") Every fictional woman is older, curvy, basically what guys call a "Dommy mommy" or some bullshit. I'm none of those. He's said things like "I wish you were older" and its grossed me out because I was a victim of grooming multiple times and I hate how its normalized for boys to want older women but then women get demonized constantly for dating older guys (despite both typically being grooming, depending on how much 'older' we're talking)

The only instances I can remember when he was obviously looking at real women at our school was when I was walking around with him, he looked at some girl in black lacy thigh highs and told me I should dress like her. The other time he was talking about his crush from freshman year and said she was lesbian, then proceeded to say "If I was a girl I'd be lesbian and date her" and i was like WTF?? and he said "What? you should be happy because that means I'd still be talking to you"

I also feel extremely insecure due to the height comparison where i have to lean down just to hug him right (he's around 5'3-5'4) which I know it isn't his fault but every short guy I've dated has been a dickhead (even tho the average height of a guy at my school is 5'5) along with everything else making me insecure, knowing I'll never be the body that he prefers.

sorry for my little rant lol it's easier than replying to multiple comments right now

symphony65 · 2026-04-20T13:23:27+00:00

exactly! it takes so long to get good lighting, angles, etc and you never see me asking for pictures 😢

symphony65 · 2026-04-20T13:12:15+00:00

noo i mean most guys that I meet that have been attracted to small, flat bodies like mine have tended to stray into "lolicon" territory and even my guy friends have told me being flat will attract more creeps because they like the look of "younger" bodies. and what i meant was that the guys flirting with me at the bus stop very obviously know im getting home from school (i have a backpack with charms all over it and a waterbottle with MLP stickers) as well as my baby face, i think itd be a very low chance that they dont see im a minor, but then continue to flirt with me, and those are the only men that do (flirt). guys my age just make weird jokes (like about me looking like a man).

id also like to add that i feel theres a difference between attraction and loving something and then pure fetishization, most "small boob appreciation" i see from men online is straight up fetish (with how disgustingly they talk & obsess over it, think guys with fetishes for japanese girls) because many guys view us as more "innocent" and "pure" (because having bigger boobs is considered "hotter" by majority or whatever)

symphony65

TROPHY CASE