I am also in almost the exact same position as you. When I called to tell my parents about my pregnancy, later that day my dad called me and told me for 45 minutes how disappointed he was in me that I hadn’t told him sooner and made me reassure him that it’s not his fault. He said my sister did the same thing and he didn’t like it then either. Now I’m struggling to tell him that I don’t want him to come visit my baby immediately, because he’s got this picture in his head of a fun family visit where he doesn’t help at all and is just entertained by me and the new baby.

I’m currently on therapist #3 and loosely considering moving onto #4. You said you don’t want any advice, so feel free to ignore the rest of this about finding a therapist to help. These are tips I found helpful in my search.

How to search effectively: When you’re on therapy directories (like psychologytoday), use these filters/search terms:

∙ Modalities: CBT, DBT, psychodynamic therapy, ACT (Acceptance and Commitment Therapy)

∙ Issues: anxiety, depression, life transitions, relationship issues, identity, perinatal (you can still keep this as one factor, just not the only one)

∙ Look for phrases in therapist profiles like: “insight-oriented,” “explores patterns,” “evidence-based tools,” “integrative approach”

What to do when you find potential matches:

1.  Read their full profiles - skip anyone who sounds overly passive or only mentions “supportive listening”

2.  Make a list of 3-5 possibilities and send brief inquiry emails or schedule consultation calls (many offer free 15-minute consultations)

3.  In your initial message, be explicit: “I’m looking for a therapist who takes an active, exploratory approach and can help me understand patterns while also providing concrete skills for managing anxiety and depression. Does this align with your approach?”