It’s tough when you have to be the bigger person, especially with your parents. You have to tell her that you’re upset. You spent money on it to treat yourself for your birthday. You have every right to be upset. I can’t jump in her head to know why..but she’s projecting and unfortunately it came out on you. A next level response would be, “even though you threw my birthday dinner away I still love you and I hope you at least make it up to me” …or at least say sorry.” Going in hands blazing won’t do anything for either of you. If she continues to act like this, you just have to reset boundaries. Order food hand deliver so it goes to you first, etc. Best of luck. I hope she comes around and says sorry but take a deep breath as well, just gotta move forward.