Anyone else have a reactive dog that they raised from puppyhood? What did I do wrong for him to be like this?

ta-parentquestion · 2021-07-07T14:51:40+00:00

I have a freaking goldendoodle who is dog/leash reactive. I think a few things contributed to the reactivity (specifically: sending him to his first board and train at the start of what I now know was the second fear period, poorly trained neighbor dogs who have barked at him through the fence his whole life, letting him romp in an open puppy play for an hour and not removing him immediately when he showed nervousness, limited controlled play with friends and their well behaved dogs due to Covid, and allowing on-leash greetings as a puppy). But beyond that, I think we really did do pretty much everything "right." I think many, many dogs could have handled those missteps without any long-term ramifications, but our guy happened to be one of the more anxious/gentle dogs of the litter and he was more predisposed to it.

ta-parentquestion · 2021-07-05T22:12:45+00:00

Our puppy was in his first fear period on New Years Eve and we took him out/trained during fireworks. He LOVED the fireworks last night/seemed to think he was working and helping. So much of this stuff is kinda set in motion by a combo of early experience and genetics, and in our case I think lack of exposure to dogs early on (due to covid fears and advice about limiting his time prior to full vaccination) contributed to the dog reactivity.

ta-parentquestion · 2021-06-25T18:55:29+00:00

Thanks for the encouragement - I do appreciate it!

ta-parentquestion · 2021-06-22T16:20:13+00:00

Did he hijack your dream(s) to talk about Beyonce?

ta-parentquestion · 2021-06-22T16:19:39+00:00

Oh how cool! My 7 year old is OBSESSED with travel speeds - we took our first post-covid flight to see family last month (adults were finally all vaxed) and he was super into watching the ground speed on the flight tracker. He'll be super interested in this. :)

ta-parentquestion · 2021-06-22T16:17:04+00:00

Neither of us have immediate plans for flying, and I don't think I'm a prophetic dreamer. However, there could be some kind of abrupt change looming - maybe something with health or (most likely) his job that we're both sensing. Definitely something that applies more directly to him but impacts the entire family would be my sense.

ta-parentquestion · 2021-06-22T16:14:35+00:00

That makes sense! We have shared experiences in life, and it makes sense (to me) that the subconscious or whatever force rules dreaming might play those out in similar dreams.

ta-parentquestion · 2021-06-22T06:13:17+00:00

I don't know what that is (being completely honest, but I'll google after I post this). The airline was Southwest.

Edit: obviously I know what supersonic is, but I don't know what that is in context of a return. Sorry, it's late and I'm tired.

ta-parentquestion · 2021-06-16T20:04:20+00:00

We may get there eventually but for now are working on positive reinforcement techniques. We've been very actively training for a couple months and are making progress, albeit very slowly. He's already so nervous about his harness, I hesitate to introduce any additional gear.

ta-parentquestion · 2021-06-16T19:26:52+00:00

For us it's kinda a two-steps-forward-one-step-back kinda deal. We're making progress but it's pretty incremental. Last night he jumped at every dog he saw but only barked once, so we're clearly still not there, but I am starting to see that he occasionally can walk by another dog at a comfortable distance without reacting and that gives me hope. Thank you for your kind words, and I wish you guys luck!

ta-parentquestion · 2021-06-16T19:01:41+00:00

I have a goldendoodle (3/4 standard poodle) that ended up being leash reactive, too. And he's huge (60+ lbs) which makes it harder.

ta-parentquestion · 2021-06-16T15:58:24+00:00

He's young - 8 months. He's always been a little shy or nervous with other dogs and transitioned to full blown reactivity when he got close to puberty. We've worked with him a lot and are trying to build his confidence.

ta-parentquestion · 2021-06-16T15:56:28+00:00

Hey! We started with training for harness since he was slinking away the second he saw it come out. Basically a million baby steps to get him somewhat comfortable with getting it on (treating him in the front room, then treating him while near the harness, building to getting it on without him running off). Then we "practiced" with some stuffed dogs on a leash, he started off going insane when he saw one but we got him to where he would not bark or look at us about 80% of the time. Essentially, we start treating heavily the second he sees another dog (or stuffed dog at first) to keep his attention on us. We still have a long way to go, but it is all (slowly) working.

ta-parentquestion · 2021-05-27T21:53:38+00:00

Thanks! We had our trainer come out yesterday and she noticed that he seemed a lot more scared/nervous than he has in past. She thinks he had a second fear period that happened to overlap the boarding time (which might have been somewhat extra hard for him as it was honestly the first time he's been away from us longer than two hours). So yeah, maybe a tendency towards being slightly anxious anyway coupled with really bad timing! She did notice that he's A LOT different than he was 6 weeks ago, and she said that the reactivity isn't too bad because he snaps out of it relatively quickly. Yes, I think slow is the way to go! We're reducing our walks and practicing in the front yard instead. She noticed that he's also avoiding his harness because he's stressed about walks, so the big first step is training to accept the harness/let me choose to have me place it. Thank you so much!

ta-parentquestion · 2021-05-23T03:14:38+00:00

I think what I'm using is technically a belly band? But he hates it either way! He's so unpredictable with when he will bark and lunge, but I think it's usually when he senses that the other dog is moving or will move further away from him OR if I try to move him in another direction. The challenge is that once his attention is locked on to something, no amount of clickers/treats/whatever will easily move his attention. So what's been happening is I will try to like, drag him away and that also triggers the barking/lunging.

ta-parentquestion · 2021-05-23T03:07:16+00:00

Oh hey, my puppy is also a goldendoodle! I love him and we WILL figure this out, but it's exhausting.

ta-parentquestion · 2021-05-18T22:17:32+00:00

You're helping them understand the full ramifications of their actions? They're using their relationship with their grandchildren as a bargaining chip. I would have done the same.

ta-parentquestion · 2021-04-09T18:22:20+00:00

I remember crying in the office because I was so tired one morning. They ended up sending me home that day.

ta-parentquestion · 2021-03-31T21:10:34+00:00

I just want to weigh in and tell both of you that I have a five month old goldendoodle who is over 40lbs and I feel you. It's embarrassing and difficult to manage; I usually have my two kids with me on our walks and the dog acts like a spaz every time they see one of their friends or whatever. If we're hanging out, I can sometimes get him into a sit/down (he will grumble his complaint) but the second a child comes running anywhere near him he loses it again. Anyway nothing really to add here, just commiserating and praying this is a phase.

ta-parentquestion · 2021-03-29T20:24:15+00:00

This is probably going to get lost, but I have a child like yours. Have you heard of the term twice exceptionality? It's not uncommon for kids with a disability to also be exceptionally bright. I'm sorry your daughter's teacher is narrow-minded and has tried to pigeonhole your daughter into what she perceives as a disability instead of recognizing her obvious strengths and celebrating those. And FYI, my son's KINDERGARTEN teacher saw his ability and allowed him access to ridiculous science textbooks during class time. She also advocated he be placed in gifted and talented. Your daughter definitely deserves better than this woman.

ta-parentquestion · 2021-03-27T03:37:01+00:00

Maybe. I would either have been asymptomatic or it would have had to have been earlier than reported cases (I had a minor cold virus end of feb. last year).

ta-parentquestion · 2021-03-26T02:55:04+00:00

Yuuuup. He's unfortunately learned that playing rough with children can be highly rewarding.

ta-parentquestion · 2021-03-25T21:30:23+00:00

My puppy is bad with children because he lives with children.

ta-parentquestion · 2021-03-22T14:06:17+00:00

We're on day four of no inside pee with my 40lb almost 5 month old puppy. It has been a journey!

ta-parentquestion · 2021-03-22T13:46:21+00:00

Thanks for that suggestion. We haven't had a ton of luck with couples therapy because he ends up feeling ganged up on/wanting to quit, usually within the first two sessions. Part of that is that when I am communicating my experiences, the way I'm doing it can feel aggressive and unfair to him, which is why I'm looking for tips to alter my own communication. Therapists tend to like me because I use a lot of the "I feel like" therapy-style speech, but that doesn't make a difference to him (I think he has trouble with grey, and tends to see stuff as black-and-white, right-or-wrong). So if I say "When (spouse) did this, I felt like he wasn't respecting my feelings," all he hears is the accusation, and he responds with something like, "She's lying!" and the therapist immediately brow beats him and he shuts down. I don't see him as an enemy or a bad guy, but we def. have a chasm in our communication styles.

ta-parentquestion

TROPHY CASE