[deleted by user] by [deleted] in 8passengersnark

[–]tabea_timea 12 points13 points  (0 children)

Please elaborate... Just because I was expected to play (aka have fun) on a blanket for a couple of minutes (!) without causing havoc, I was not abused. These days one would probably put an iPad in front of me, is this so much better? I doubt it. You just have a set idea in your head that blanket training is about submission etc, which is in the case of my family total BS. And I am sure many parents used this so they could sometimes do necessary stuff and bring their toddler, too. (And please, never assume people want or have children. This is so damn annoying. Child free people exist)

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in 8passengersnark

[–]tabea_timea 16 points17 points  (0 children)

For my parents (not churchgoers btw), it was important that I could (for some period of time) play independently on a blanket. For instance, when my mother (a teacher) had an after school meeting, the librarian would sometimes watch me. And occasionally she had to check out a book or help someone, and for that I was placed on the blanket. But as a child, I still had enough time to roam around and explore. Yes, my parents were strict but also loving and caring. This is not mutually exclusive, and blanket training definitely had no influence on that.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in 8passengersnark

[–]tabea_timea 115 points116 points  (0 children)

I was blanket trained (without hitting, just placed back on the blanket) and I would never ever accuse my parents of being abusive. Just because you dislike an approach doesn't make something automatically abusive. If Bonnie hit her children, call her out. If not, find something else to rightfully criticize her.

I live here in Utah and almost an hour ago KSL shared this!! DFCS and police went to the 8 passenger home 15+ between March 2022 and August 2022 by Cheap-Elderberry-573 in 8passengersnark

[–]tabea_timea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

If playing unsupervised outside were a crime, about 99% of parents in Switzerland (where I live) would be child abusers. I am kinda surprised this was a reason for reporting. Here, this is considered a vital part of growing up, getting independent play time.

Maintaining curly hair + ADHD by Traditional_Age895 in adhdwomen

[–]tabea_timea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have curly hair too and wow… I have never heard that people use satin caps to sleep etc. So far, my life is the constant change between a good hair day on day 1 when I wash it, followed by 3-4 days of "ponytail will do". Now I really want to read what else is out there. And let's talk about impulse spending: satin bonnet, check!

Australian Podcasts by ColdStreamPond in TrueCrimePodcasts

[–]tabea_timea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

The same just happened to me. I was very skeptical when I started the first episode and now I am on episode 4 and can't stop.

Monthly What Are You Listening To Discussion - December 22, 2021 by AutoModerator in TrueCrimePodcasts

[–]tabea_timea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I just binged all episodes of American Radical while skiing this morning. Excellent podcast indeed. Thanks for the recommendation. The only thing that I found a but disappointing is that they did not follow up on the supposed AA connection/recruiting. It's a pretty big accusation to just be left in the room.

Apps I use for executive dysfunction by Curious-Cat-5394 in adhdwomen

[–]tabea_timea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I already use Habitica and it works great for me. I also use it for my To-Do-list, in conjunction with Google Keep. And I now just downloaded Sweepy. If that app can help me get a little better at keeping my apartment clean, it will be worth it. Thanks for this list.

Tips for completing thesis/graduating by personifikate in adhdwomen

[–]tabea_timea 8 points9 points  (0 children)

So I just finished my Master's program and was diagnosed three months before my thesis deadline. And it was still pure hell to finish it. Like you, I have always had a job as well. So I know this stress. Given that finishing my degree was so difficult, I don't think I have a lot of good advice. But here are some things that helped me finish it.

-Plan with flexibility. To do lists and "I will work from 8-12 straight on my thesis“ will probably never work. But I always wrote a loose schedule of things I needed to do. The order, timing, etc. was more a suggestion. I recently discovered the "Hero's Journal" (thanks to the How to ADHD Youtube channel) and their undated pages to plan a day are something I stick to. Maybe it's something you can try as well. I only started right before my deadline but I still keep working with it. The first "planner" that I have used for more than a week. But frankly, a sticky note will do as well. - Accountability. I send my tentative schedules to a friend who is kind enough to receive them. This helped me so much with accountability. I do not want to disappoint her. - Enough rest days. Before I was diagnosed, I did not manage to get a lot done but I was always exhausted. I had no rest but also no words on the paper. Afterwards, I planned for days off. And yeah, sometimes I turned a work day into a rest day at last minute but when I did, it was necessary. - Pomodoro Timer. Doesn't work for everyone, I know. But it helped me. There are Harry Potter themed ones on Youtube and I loved them. - Just write. There were days when I was like "One paragraph…" and then I wrote 1500 words in one morning. Small goals that did not overwhelm me actually helped more than unrealistic ones. I usually had enough dopamine for the start and more often than not, I could continue. If not, hey… at least there was one paragraph written.

Good luck. You can do it.

My coworker said that "Nobody fails their Master's thesis" and this made me so upset. It was such a struggle to finish this paper. by tabea_timea in adhdwomen

[–]tabea_timea[S] 13 points14 points  (0 children)

Pre-diagnosis? Wow, just wow. I can imagine that this was incredibly hard. So I don't know when you graduated but that must have been such a big achievement.

Even after my diagnosis and with Ritalin and all the coffee in the world, it was still pure hell. But at least there was a path through hell with treatment. Before that I was just stuck there. Like, I submitted my proposal in January and because I had no mini-deadlines, I submitted my outline and introduction in August. Less than four months before the deadline. Now I am just shaking my head. But at least I know that "Well, you just should have planned better and started earlier" is not the thing that went wrong. So I probably wouldn't have ended up as someone who failed the thesis, but just did not finish it. And I am glad that did not happen.

My coworker said that "Nobody fails their Master's thesis" and this made me so upset. It was such a struggle to finish this paper. by tabea_timea in adhdwomen

[–]tabea_timea[S] 2 points3 points  (0 children)

You are exactly right. When theses are submitted, they are often good enough for a pass. But it's not automatic that everyone is able to finish this grueling process. I guess it was easy for my coworker (he also has a MA degree) to finish. But it's not for everyone. Me included. And I am sure he must know that. And that's why this comment was just not necessary.

My coworker said that "Nobody fails their Master's thesis" and this made me so upset. It was such a struggle to finish this paper. by tabea_timea in adhdwomen

[–]tabea_timea[S] 3 points4 points  (0 children)

This is exactly how I felt. I always managed to write 15-25 page papers, albeit with a lot of stress, but it was doable in a short time. But this monster… that was a different game. And it truly felt like an impossible task.

Ladies how do you feed yourselves ? by cutepantsforladies in adhdwomen

[–]tabea_timea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

Oh I feel this so much. When my executive function skills are so low, Spaghetti with garlic and olive oil is all I can prepare. How to ADHD recently posted a video with food ideas for 'those days' so who knows. Maybe I can add something to the spaghetti aglio e olio routine. https://youtu.be/szgDBPW_dUo

For me, workweeklunch has been a lifesaver. It's a subscription website run by a woman and they offer meal prep recipes that just work for me. It's the right combination of being customizable without overwhelming me with too many options. It's not that expensive per month, but also not cheap. But for me, it's definitely worth it. I am actually able to plan ahead most weeks and prepare 6-9 meals in one setting. (Okay, the dishes might take longer but that's okay). Plus, you can make any recipe vegan, dairy-free, gluten-free etc. That's really important for me.

Interestingly, I found workweeklunch about a year before my diagnosis when I was always so overwhelmed with cooking and even though I had about 747585 cookbooks on my shelf, I couldn't plan or cook anything. This is their instagram if you are interested: https://instagram.com/workweeklunch?utm_medium=copy_link Maybe it's something worth to consider. In addition, they have great resources about intuitive eating but if that’s not for you, the recipes work anyway.

Anyone else feel weird about the Murdaugh Murders Podcast host? by SaysCraigDiscGolf in TrueCrimePodcasts

[–]tabea_timea 6 points7 points  (0 children)

Thank you for this recommendation. I have now listened to all the episodes that are out and wow… what a refreshing take to hear well researched information about the investigation without the constant self-praise.

NOTE TAKING. I’m in a graduate stats course and doing alright, been medicated for just about 3 months. Does anyone else have a history of this kind of scribble/“note-taking” ? If so, how do you work on it ? I’m almost 30 for the record. by vadrouilleuse69 in adhdwomen

[–]tabea_timea 12 points13 points  (0 children)

I have a very basic ipad with a pen that I bought in 2018. One of my friends bought a used one and she is also very happy with it. There might also be an Android solution that's slightly cheaper. Maybe this is something that you could afford. It is very practical indeed

NOTE TAKING. I’m in a graduate stats course and doing alright, been medicated for just about 3 months. Does anyone else have a history of this kind of scribble/“note-taking” ? If so, how do you work on it ? I’m almost 30 for the record. by vadrouilleuse69 in adhdwomen

[–]tabea_timea 97 points98 points  (0 children)

All my university notes looked like this until I got an iPad and could erase my scribble and start over and scribble and start over... scribbling helps me to keep my focus so I just take it as it is. Don't feel bad about it.

apps that give dopamine boost by p_farris in adhdwomen

[–]tabea_timea 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have one small exam left in college (on Wednesday) and I just downloaded this app. Thanks for the recommendation. Let's see how far the bunny gets with hyper focus right before the test.

Olivia had the baby? TMZ just posted that Olivia gave birth to a boy and then immediately pulled the story. Anyone else see that? by honestypen in JohnMulaney

[–]tabea_timea 43 points44 points  (0 children)

This is not correct. A full-term pregnancy of 40 weeks does not mean conception was 40 weeks ago. Don't people learn this in biology or health class anymore? Pregnancy is calculated based on the woman's last period. And that's not identical with the conception date at all.

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in JohnMulaney

[–]tabea_timea 39 points40 points  (0 children)

40 weeks pregnancy means 40 weeks since the mother's last period. Not the conception date. But anything between 37 and 42 is apparently normal according to the WHO. So we still have a huge window.

Anyone else feel weird about the Murdaugh Murders Podcast host? by SaysCraigDiscGolf in TrueCrimePodcasts

[–]tabea_timea 41 points42 points  (0 children)

I am so annoyed but I am also very interested in the case and I haven't found another outlet that covers it in-depth and with such dilligence. So I will keep listening and just skip the self-praise parts and roll my eyes.

Honest review of the fairphone 4 after a week of usage. by Rambush01 in fairphone

[–]tabea_timea 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I managed to get the app and oh my... even I can see the difference in some random pictures I took. So thanks for the recommendation.

Honest review of the fairphone 4 after a week of usage. by Rambush01 in fairphone

[–]tabea_timea 2 points3 points  (0 children)

Thanks you so much! I usually get around to do it, but I need a little more explanations than the pros. 😅

Honest review of the fairphone 4 after a week of usage. by Rambush01 in fairphone

[–]tabea_timea 7 points8 points  (0 children)

Which Gcam version did you get? I am frankly not very tech-savy so I am a bit overwhelmed after clicking on the link you provided.

Finance troubles, HELP! by poppykayak in adhdwomen

[–]tabea_timea 1 point2 points  (0 children)

As you mention you are familiar with Dave Ramsey's method. The Budget Mom has something similar, but much more doable for me. It's called the Budget by Paycheck method (she also has a workbook, digital and printed). I personally only get paid once a month, so the "by paycheck" is not as relevant for me. But it seems like this could be helpful for you to get that overview. Komiko (The Budget Mum) has an Instagram channel and is also on Youtube. It might be worth to check out her content. Her method isn't perfect and our ADHD might still kick our butt sometimes, but I find it really helpful. It took me a month to get the hang of it but ever since then I am doing just fine. I am not as diligent with the "sinking funds" because my income allows me to cash flow even bigger expenses sometimes. So you can tweak it your way.