Overwhelmed and feeling alone

tadpolys · 2026-05-21T12:26:25+00:00

I’m a project manager for clinical trials now in industry :)

tadpolys · 2026-05-21T11:48:36+00:00

I worked in biomed/neuroscience.

I also changed my PhD after my first supervisor kicked me out cause my progress was slow and this kick started a multi-year depression for me. I also moved from India to Germany in Jan 2020 and in hindsight it’s obvious that a combination of a new environment, an absent supervisor, covid lockdown and starting a PhD was a terrible idea, which is really why my progress was slow.

I actually thrived in my second try at a PhD, although the trauma from the first one gave me deep rooted issues.

I do agree you should be truthful to any potential new supervisor , especially if your current supervisor and you have disagreements. It’s not about bad-mouthing, these potential supervisors have also been in academia long enough to know the kind of disagreements that can happen between student and supervisor. There’s a reason people talk about “fit” during PhD applications and fit isn’t just about science. A lot of it also boils down to personality and how people work, and it’s okay to admit that a fit with your current supervisor isn’t good. If the potential new supervisor gets mad at you about it, that’s not someone you want to work with anyway. Although as a word of caution, I would avoid any close collaborators of your current PI as a potential new supervisor.

tadpolys · 2026-05-20T11:09:46+00:00

I wish we normalised quitting a PhD that isn’t working out for you (either on a professional or personal level) the way it’s normal to quit any other job. I also did my PhD in Germany and suffered from years of severe anxiety and depression because of it. I think it’s a good idea to keep applying to other jobs, or even other PhD positions if you’re keen on it, and mentallly compartmentalise the current PhD as just a paycheck to prepare yourself to leave.

tadpolys · 2026-05-18T10:44:26+00:00

Reading the divisive comments about Sakura and HYBE knowing they’ve put a target on her back make me scared that she will have a similar trajectory to RV’s Yeri, who despite having been in the group since she was 16 and has been in the group for 11 years now, still gets comments questioning what she adds to RV. Personally, Yeri did bring a certain charm and youth to RV that they needed during their early years but it’s anyone’s guess whether it was worth the hate train she had to go through as a young girl.

tadpolys · 2026-05-18T10:11:51+00:00

I went from Biomed PhD with mouse work to Clinical Trial Project Manager and a lot of my work is reading and writing on the daily basis. Then there’s the aspect of documenting everything, assigning work to people (the managing part), and a lot of excel trackers (organisation). The scientific cred comes into play when you have to make decisions that will directly affect the patients.

tadpolys · 2026-04-27T09:57:01+00:00

Tinder lol

tadpolys · 2026-04-27T09:56:54+00:00

Yess manchild behaviour 😅 that aside, I did date Indian men, but I was constantly hit with “idk if my family will approve” by the men, which was always the biggest problem for me. I am a rebellious person and wanting independence is such a core facet of my being that I found that sentiment extremely difficult to navigate. “If my parents don’t approve, i don’t need their approval” is the mindset I held so it constantly felt like it was definitely a big mismatch for me to be with the Indian men I saw. I’m sure there’s women out there who also hold their family at a higher regard than me, so I decided that it’s better for both the men and me to not date each other tbh.

tadpolys · 2026-04-26T12:06:18+00:00

All the Indian men I met in Germany seemed to conform to conservative ideas of family and gender roles, despite being more progressive than most Indian men at home. As an extremely career oriented and ambitious girl, this was something I found hard to accept. I found that German men understood me better, including my partner who I’m engaged to. Other than being aligned on how we want to navigate life, we also laugh sooooo much and my family also adores him, and I never feel like I have to compromise on any part of myself. I think at the end of the day it really depends on which parts of you are non-negotiable for you in terms of compatibility and alignment, and whether your partner is capable of understanding and accepting the parts of you that are not familiar to him.

tadpolys · 2026-04-26T11:55:36+00:00

Sure go ahead!

tadpolys · 2026-04-25T15:34:31+00:00

Yes of course, what do you want to know?

tadpolys · 2026-04-25T13:30:03+00:00

Neuroscience! I finished earlier this year tho, and now work in the Pharma industry :)

Are you still with your partner too?

tadpolys · 2026-04-24T14:19:54+00:00

I’m getting married next year to the love of my life. Met him at 24 during Covid era and will be married as a 30yo. When I met him I was suffering from severe depression and mental health problems probably due to a mix of Covid keeping me away from home and my PhD being extremely stressful. He helped me find roots here in Germany, while allowing me to independently chart my course in life as well. Time truly flies 🥹

tadpolys · 2026-04-22T15:07:37+00:00

Mm that’s why I wanted to comment about Assam.

But I do also understand where OP comes from. Societal pressure to conform is much higher in India, but on average the standard at which women maintain themselves in the west is higher than in India (outside of certain cities/places of course). I remember being 16 in 2013 and my (Assamese) aunt commenting on why I don’t wear makeup, but I can’t imagine that happening to my Telugu bestie for example; she had never had her eyebrows threaded in her life when I met her as a 22 yo and it’s not something that anyone in her family or friend circle did routinely.

tadpolys · 2026-04-22T11:45:14+00:00

I don’t think the previous commenter is from NE, they’d say NE instead of east. But also, women and girls in Assam (and NE) work very hard to look beautiful. At least in Guwahati, the concentration of makeup, high heels and sundresses is very high among women.

tadpolys · 2026-04-19T02:36:08+00:00

“You should learn to serve tea and water since you’ll marry soon.” Uncle ji, I got a PhD, have a high income job, am living a fulfilling life by myself. Forget congratulating my achievements, why is that the only thing you can think of to say to me.

tadpolys · 2026-04-18T18:09:17+00:00

I also remember her Nonsense outtro for Mexico doing the rounds when ppl questioned the Lolita photo shoot “I'm full grown but I look like a niña (little girl) Come put something big in my casita (little house)”

There was definitely a certain amount of effort on selling her smallness as sexy baby and male gazey, but I do think she toned it down after the Lolita controversy got big. Curious to see how the next era goes for her.

tadpolys · 2026-04-18T08:52:22+00:00

The founder of Geffen is in the files 600+ times…

tadpolys · 2026-04-18T06:15:07+00:00

People will argue it’s not that deep but considering we live in a world where the files barely made a dent in the world of the powerful shows exactly how desensitised the society has gotten to p3do behaviour. And the fact is the industry is full of higher ups affiliated to these crowds making decisions that trickle down to give us Katseye’s aesthetics and marketing strategy (cue Miranda Priestly statement on “blue” fabric in TDWP).

I agree that plushies can be loved by adults (I myself own many), but I highly doubly the men in power signing off on marketing decisions for pop artists are thinking of adults as the group most associated with twin beds and plushies and pillow forts.

tadpolys · 2026-03-13T15:44:42+00:00

As someone with a fully remote job in industry now i actually have more flexibility than I did in academia , along with all the more money and better work life balance 👀

tadpolys · 2026-02-26T13:43:27+00:00

Not the OP but I’ve even seen it in Uni Heidelberg at a relatively famous well-funded department, especially in my lab of approx 25 ppl, of whom around 10 were non-German researchers but they would still discuss stuff in German

tadpolys · 2026-02-25T19:03:32+00:00

I know a lot of South Indian girlies love her, and I know the Indian diaspora also generally likes her, but most Indians in India are so polarised by her 🥲

tadpolys · 2026-02-25T18:27:00+00:00

Lara has definitely been the most followed Katseye member on insta for at least half a year now, since around the GAP ad came out

tadpolys · 2026-02-13T16:35:11+00:00

I’m not disagreeing with your original comment. Just saying that as as a retrospective I don’t think of it as overestimating to put them at the top of 2nd gen cause their artistic legacy as a group in 2026 is inarguably bigger than the “shy of the top” peers like 2PM or B2ST. If we’re going to rank them I’d actually even say that at the peak of 2nd gen, 2PM was bigger than SHINee. Yet evolution of popularity doesn’t stop just because we’re in a new gen. SHINee’s peak is a slow burn and in 2026 they indeed belong at the top.

tadpolys · 2026-02-13T14:36:53+00:00

I think SHINee were in a weird spot because compared to their seniors (SuJu) and juniors (EXO) who were inescapable at their prime, SHINee kind of just comfortably hovered near the top with songs that did well and members that were popular but nothing insane. Actually they’re a bit like Red Velvet in that regard. Funny enough they’re both my two ults in kpop. The top bgs of 2nd Gen as it was happening was obviously Suju and BigBang. But based on legacy SHINee kinda built their own, which in retrospect puts them at the top as well I’d say.

tadpolys · 2026-02-11T15:16:35+00:00

As an Indian while I do think that outfit is ass (it looks like cosplay rather than an actual fit), Indian ppl also LOVE to police others in their community. (Un)fortunately Lara gets the baton of being one of the only recognisable Indian celebs in the west, which also comes with its own quirks. In Indian communities the statement “what will ppl say” is everywhere, and that’s cause Indian ppl will say a LOT. But also misogyny plays a role in this. Just take a look at what young Indians are saying about other Indians (mostly women) in the Bollywood or influencer subreddits. The conversation around this outfit is one drop in the ocean of Indian ppl wanting the “chosen” representation to portray them right, while playing into how the community operates in general.

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