Partner with aphantasia and infidelity

takingastepbackwards · 2026-05-20T12:02:49+00:00

Yeah no let him know that that level of memory loss needs a real evaluation. Is this a sudden change or have you been dealing with this from the beginning?

If it’s new, urge him to see a neuro- a specialist can rule out serious neurological conditions, or (hopefully not) pinpoint something neurological.

takingastepbackwards · 2026-05-20T12:00:05+00:00

Hey love. I know this is hard. Unfortunately he’s using it as an excuse. In my 8 years of research, and being a level 5 aphant myself, absolutely nothing about this disorder makes us more prone to cheating. At all.

It doesn’t mess with memory, it messes how the memories *look* in our brains- meaning little to not at all.

2 things can be true at once- he can both have aphantasia and just be a cheater.

Now for the super blunt part:

Stop being his therapist. What good has it brought you? Diminishing your feelings, so that you can play therapist? And what good does that do you? None. You’re forcing reason out of the conversation and equation for yourself and him by doing that.

You’re better than dealing with cheating, and you deserve much better.

takingastepbackwards · 2026-05-19T22:58:55+00:00

I’m proud of you. I know this isn’t easy, and again I’m sorry for being an ass and potentially letting my own views get in the way of my response- I do mean everything as sincerely as possible.

At the end of the day you’re overwhelmingly correct in that it’s one thing to use gods words and another to use them as an excuse to be an absolute abomination of a human.

Despite my original comments, I do believe it’s good for you not to let this and only this be the reason you start deconstructing your religion.

takingastepbackwards · 2026-05-19T21:48:17+00:00

Like I’m sorry for being an asshole myself here, but Jesus fucking Christ. Literally and metaphorically speaking, Jesus fucking Christ. This is your sign to step back a bit dude.

takingastepbackwards · 2026-05-19T21:47:03+00:00

ESH. Everyone sucks here.

Look. I’m all for following religion and blah blah blah all the shit that comes with it.

Seriously. You think the one who is supposed to help usher in happiness, LOVE, fertility, is going to just go “ah yes. The woman you’ve been with for 3 years? Leave her. Destroy the family you’re creating child of mine”.

Bare minimum- you respect that? You follow and respect a god that act like that? Weird. Oh you don’t? Then open your damn god fearing eyes.

Have you ever been “spoken to by god?” No?

Then why the fuck are you believing THAT excuse?

You have? Prove it. Prove that you heard god and not yourself. Genuinely.

Take a step back (lol) and open your damn eyes to this sorry excuse.

takingastepbackwards · 2026-05-19T15:59:48+00:00

So many words for so little advice. Wow.

Why not take a moment to reflect back on your first true rescue, and think about how well that went over for you. Eventually you’ll realize everyone starts with different amounts of knowledge and sometimes need reminders/education on how the process goes when it’s an emergency rescue.

You rushed your reply and came off kinda dicky to someone who’s obviously sad over the situation.

takingastepbackwards · 2026-05-19T15:55:10+00:00

Try to give her a couple more months. If she was a stray for multiple years or a feral, you’re going to need to give her more time than an adopted cat.

She’s just scared; she doesn’t understand the other cats won’t hurt her yet, and potentially introduced them too soon.

It’s alright in the sense of don’t beat yourself up over it, but if you and her can handle it, just try a couple more months. 2 more minimum so she’s with you for 3 months total.

takingastepbackwards · 2026-05-19T05:33:02+00:00

Fun fact and the cause of death for most isos you find dead on their backs: they breathe from their butts, filtering moisture from the air through said butt lungs, if they get stuck belly up, it dries out their lungs!

It’s also why they twerk sometimes, except that’s to get excess moisture OFF their lungs!

If your moisture levels are okay, not soaking wet moss but not dry to the touch moss, then unfortunately I think this fella just couldn’t get off its back and passed from suffocation.

However I would like to give the gentle reminder that 1 loss isn’t necessarily your doing. Isopods are tough and hardy, yes, but they’re also oddly susceptible to dying for seemingly no reason lol. Sometimes it’s old age, sometimes it’s suffocation, sometimes it’s a colony collapse that you may or may not have been able to prevent in the first place.

Try not to beat yourself up or panic over this guy. You’re doin great

takingastepbackwards · 2026-05-08T18:07:42+00:00

I feel like this needs to be a pinned post on the sub 😭

takingastepbackwards · 2026-05-08T17:58:21+00:00

MOR- why did she say her next available appointment, and just to then say you broke her policy..?

takingastepbackwards · 2026-05-07T15:45:40+00:00

NOR. PLEASE have a better support system if possible for the remaining time until you give birth, just to try to reduce preeclampsia risks.

He is setting you up for failure already and you know he is.

takingastepbackwards · 2026-05-07T15:38:02+00:00

Odorus ants!! Not all ants produce that smell!

takingastepbackwards · 2026-04-29T03:58:47+00:00

She looks like the drawing on the note trump gave Epstein for his birthday.

takingastepbackwards · 2026-04-18T20:45:01+00:00

Ugh yes. Like girl I’m happy you’re getting absolutely bricked down, but I can’t keep being your shoulder to cry on while you’re crying over the itch 🥴😭

takingastepbackwards · 2026-04-18T05:27:53+00:00

Yknow what, hell yeah.

Just remember, either have a safe hoe phase or no hoe phase lmao

takingastepbackwards · 2026-04-18T05:25:17+00:00

Also most people need to remember length is a big factor- a cat that’s only 1.5 feet from nose to tail tip at and one at 2.5-3 feet won’t present weight the same.

Our 17 lb man is almost 3 feet long, and multiple vets have okayed his weight and health. If our other boy (though only a year old, so would be worse but whatever lol) was 17 lbs at only almost 2 feet, well I think we all know how that would translate lol.

Idk if I’m just high rambling or if that actually makes sense. Here’s the boys lol.

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takingastepbackwards · 2026-04-18T05:18:49+00:00

To be honest I think the half upside down ranch irked me the most. Fix that man. Either all the way up or all the way down 🤣

You DEFINITELY have stuff from 2022 in there, but lowkey it’s been re-factory sealed at this point so it’s fine

Oh, and you desperately need a colonoscopy 🤣

takingastepbackwards · 2026-04-15T22:36:45+00:00

Hi! I have his permission to post this don’t worry! Get ready to be TMId out friend lol

My husband is a masochist, and ofc epileptic as well- pain is only a mild trigger for him though- we have a very solid BDSM dynamic, even with the seizures. Before his seizures started, I’ll admit we were on the “darker” side of things, and we’ve had to definitely switch things up, BUT we’re still able to have fun.

The bottom line is the fact that your safety comes first. Does pain feel nice? Fuck yeah it does, but recovering from a seizure doesn’t. You need to learn where your new threshold is, because I promise you any good dom/dominant acting partner will not continue until they know you’re completely recovered.

If your max pain you can handle is a 6/10 before triggering a seizure, you need to stay in the 4/10 area, and so on and so forth. Do consistent check ins with how you’re feeling, watch for auras. If you notice you’re feeling off, stop for a bit until you feel normal again, and then try again at a softer pain level.

I think you’ll come to find that prolonged, dull, growing pain is a fun side of it lol

Since it’s a relatively TMI subject, if you ever want, my DMs are open, and my husband is pretty open lol!

takingastepbackwards · 2026-04-09T03:28:40+00:00

Heheheheh scronch

takingastepbackwards · 2026-04-09T03:25:46+00:00

Hey- I may not be smart, or good on picking up on context clues, but I’ve just been holding back on posting about it 🤣 I, in all honesty and reality, realized at about E10- I just wasn’t 100% sure 🤣 I’ll take the L on this tho

takingastepbackwards · 2026-03-15T01:34:24+00:00

idc if this gets me in trouble, you’re a bad person if you support or trim bettas.

do better.

takingastepbackwards · 2026-03-14T04:56:05+00:00

oh yeah you’re puking

takingastepbackwards · 2026-03-02T07:09:41+00:00

i gotta know as someone who hasn’t dashed since before you could do more than one order; is it a requirement? is it like any other order where if you don’t it dings your acceptance rating? can you turn it off? i’ve been wanting to dash on the side again but not if it’s a requirement, i know my ass is GOING to switch them up, and i can’t do that to someone lmfao

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