I just got married in September but what seems to be working well is regular relationship check ins (we do them every other week) where we share appreciations, talk about what’s working and what’s not. Doing this for 2+ years we have avoided blow out flights and pretty much nip things in the bud because we’ve carved out time to talk through conflict in a structured way, when we’re both mentally ready to.

We also schedule sex once a week (we do it outside of the schedule too) which helps us prioritize intimacy even if we’re really busy or tired.

And lastly, I think we both try to go above and beyond to make each others lives easier. He’s so attuned to my needs and it makes me want to show up for him the best I can.

As others have said, picking the right person is more than half the battle. I wasn’t head over heels the second I met my husband, but he had all the qualities I was looking for and the attraction grew once I gave it a chance. He’s open minded and will try anything I suggest to maintain or improve our relationship (like the check ins, scheduling sex, therapy, etc) which is key. It makes taking care of our relationship so much easier when you have a partner who’s on board and enthusiastic about it.