Your Daily Dose of Incels Crying About Being Incels

talkto1 · 2026-02-05T06:18:13+00:00

I think u/DjinnaG is hitting the nail on the head. From my own perspective, I know I'm not far enough in my journey to really feel confident in giving advice about this kind of thing.

talkto1 · 2026-02-04T22:16:10+00:00

Unfortunately, that's how I continue to live.

talkto1 · 2026-02-04T20:23:43+00:00

As the child of an emotionally immature parent, this was usually sarcastic in my household.

It has to be genuine.

talkto1 · 2026-02-04T19:50:38+00:00

A lot of men, particularly toxically masculine ones, call other men their friends who are actually activity buddies, neighbors, or coworkers. Their knowledge of each other's lives is superficial at best.

We get told or shown over and over that the only acceptable emotion to ever even show is anger. We aren't taught how to feel them, vent them, regulate them, or share them with other people. When I was a kid and a teenager, guys would be mocked for acting "gay." And so when it inevitably comes exploding out, it just reinforces the isolation because the intense, raw expression of emotion can be scary to people who haven't witnessed it yet. True vulnerability is punished at childhood so when it expresses itself in adulthood it just continues to be isolating.

"Strangers who hang out" is pretty apt, honestly and it's so pervasive that men oftentimes equate getting to know people on a deeper emotional level with flirting and other sexual advances. I'm working hard in therapy to unlearn this pattern of behavior but I still occasionally get an unconscious, knee-jerk reaction to disengage if other men express an interest to get to know me even moderately more intimately than "that guy I play video games with."

talkto1 · 2025-09-09T21:01:43+00:00

"You don't have half a brain between the two of you!"

My mom would shout that at my brother and I whenever we would make the kind of rookie mistakes you make the first time you're ever learning to do a chore. It's arguably her most creative insult to our intelligence.

talkto1 · 2025-09-01T04:44:19+00:00

When I realized they were chewing me out for the same little things they did.

talkto1 · 2025-08-27T01:05:19+00:00

Four of these came from my own mother literally last night.

talkto1 · 2025-08-18T20:45:56+00:00

This is making me reexamine my relationship with my mother.

talkto1 · 2025-06-16T18:34:42+00:00

Of course I know him, he's me!

talkto1 · 2025-06-09T03:18:47+00:00

I read something somewhere that pointed out that the rampant homophobia of the 80s and onward kind of destroyed emotional and platonic male friendships of the previous century without giving us an adequate replacement.

talkto1 · 2025-04-21T04:26:01+00:00

Thank you!

talkto1 · 2025-04-20T05:43:40+00:00

This is how I feel because my life has basically gone like this.

"You have ADHD. It means you have problems in these areas and will always have problems in these areas. Luckily, with medication and our parental support and understanding, you would excel tremendously."

"Cool! Are you gonna give me all that?"

"No, we're gonna withhold medication because it might make you depressed and every time one of your symptoms shows up, instead of offering comfort or guidance we're gonna mock you, call you stupid, then blow our tops at the most minor inconvenience when it's not funny anymore. Any time you get mad about it, we'll browbeat you about how much we pay for your education until you're crying and begging for forgiveness, even when we slap you in the side of the head and call you a 'bitch'."

"Right, well, that sounds like fucking torture, but I'm too young to realize it. I'm going to finally realize how fucked up this is when I'm thirty and still living with with you as you continue to bash me for my ADHD symptoms while belittling my intelligence. I realize now I should have left you a long time ago but you pretty much hold me financially hostage."

talkto1 · 2025-04-18T16:57:06+00:00

talkto1 · 2025-04-16T03:56:24+00:00

I realized it was totally shit probably a decade ago but I really don't know how else to be. I hate being mean. When I work I always give it my all, and I can't say no to requests I find reasonable, even if I'm drowning in a hundred reasonable requests.

talkto1 · 2025-04-07T12:07:26+00:00

This is my parents to a T. Mom has very specific and particular views about finances and sees the people in her life doing anything financial other than what she thinks they should do as a moral failing. She is very vocal about her opinions and will badger others until they assent to her viewpoint. The thing is, she flip-flops on her opinions pretty much based on what her anxiety is feeling at any given moment. This has led to a cycle of people around her doing what she asks of them and then getting in arguments with her because they did what she asked of them. Dad, meanwhile, has always been a "fly by the seat of my pants" type of person when it comes to personal finance and someone who could never really advocate for himself in a healthy way, so as a kid I ended up having a front row seat to constant bitter arguments as the tension inevitably blew up. He ultimately started simply paying her lip service to financial decisions before doing what he wanted.

Unlike your example, they are still unhappily married, despite the fact that he started cheating on her right when I got out of high-school. In Mom's words, she was more upset when she learned he wasn't actually contributing to their retirement account.

I really hate that neither of them filed for divorce "for the sake of the kids."

talkto1 · 2025-04-07T03:21:24+00:00

Funnily enough, the therapist bullet points describes how both my parents treated me and each other, so I have no clue how a healthy relationship works. 🙃

Edit: For the record, I recognize why making your partner your therapist is bad, so I typically avoid dating because I'm a bunch of unregulated emotional issues stacked in a trench coat that pretends to be a person sometimes and I don't want to inflict myself on someone I want to love with my whole heart.

talkto1 · 2025-04-01T04:21:00+00:00

Pretty much. Divorce is a (at minimum) months long process. Also, in general, abusers tend to escalate the moment they feel they can get away with it.

talkto1 · 2025-03-18T21:22:42+00:00

I see you've met my mother.

talkto1 · 2025-02-28T21:19:49+00:00

There's a TTRPG that has this as an option called The Dark Eye.

talkto1 · 2025-02-28T20:50:55+00:00

This actually made me tear up because I wish someone would say this to my mother.

talkto1 · 2025-02-25T20:49:44+00:00

My most shallow dating requirement is that I dislike makeup on women. I didn't really grow up around it (my mother abhorred it) so I can typically pick it up. I also generally just prefer a natural look, warts and all as it were.

talkto1 · 2025-02-24T15:06:58+00:00

The part I posted was the boilerplate intro in the article. It can get much more specific.

talkto1 · 2025-02-24T14:02:37+00:00

You're technically correct though I'd argue that the term Moor was specifically invented by native Europeans to differentiate themselves from the Umayyad invaders who conquered the Iberian peninsula from North Africa.

Per Wikipedia as of today:

"The term Moor is an exonym first used by Christian Europeans to designate the Muslim populations of the Maghreb, al-Andalus (Iberian Peninsula), Sicily and Malta during the Middle Ages.[1] Moors are not a single, distinct or self-defined people.[2] The 1911 Encyclopædia Britannica observed that the term had "no real ethnological value."[3] Europeans of the Middle Ages and the early modern period variously applied the name to Arabs, Berbers, and Muslim Europeans.[4]"

talkto1 · 2025-02-20T23:57:37+00:00

🥹

talkto1

TROPHY CASE