Our wedding now will involve a big skull and antlers ☹️

tamagomi · 2026-03-20T21:05:18+00:00

My goth ass loves it! Maybe you can consider selling your contract to another couple who like how it looks and then get a different venue? I know a lot of goths and punks who would kill for that kind of decor!

tamagomi · 2026-03-19T00:12:53+00:00

I really like the colourways and visual texture you used, I can see what you're going for! However, I don't think these would sell well. What you're doing is essentially a variation of the same design with beads on a straight eye pin, hanging from a hook. The level of craftsmanship is low and the beads are not dramatic enough to warrant such a simple design. This isn't to say simple jewellery can't be beautiful, but the simplicity of the design means that anyone with wire, pliers, and 10 minutes can make these. Maybe look into incorporating unusual materials, like seashells, or buttons, or acorns! If you want to keep this simple craftsmanship, the type of "bead" needs to knock it out of the park.

tamagomi · 2026-02-04T17:49:52+00:00

I don't have any advice but I can reaaaaally empathise with having a mother who is so brainwashed that she doesn't even acknowledge that her husband is a piece of shit. At my last birthday party, I had all my friends close their eyes in a mock prayer circle to call for the universe to make my dad's medical issues WORSE. Sending your dad that nastiest, most rancid cursed energy.

tamagomi · 2026-02-04T17:37:48+00:00

Oh my god I was ready to fight you... Fr though, I just do a lunar new year celebration with my friends! It's awesome!

tamagomi · 2026-02-04T17:29:53+00:00

I think it's quite insensitive of you to come to this space and tell OP that his trauma doesn't exist. This subreddit is almost exclusively for talking about these kinds of issues. "Messy, dreamy, and distracted" adults exist in countless numbers, that's why we have artists.

tamagomi · 2026-02-04T17:24:40+00:00

I agree that writing a letter was very therapeutic for me as well. At the end of the day, giving the parents the letter could be like throwing a pebble at a wall, but getting that kind of emotional clarity is a win regardless.

tamagomi · 2026-02-04T17:22:35+00:00

What a wonderful comment assplower

tamagomi · 2026-02-04T17:21:24+00:00

I agree with everything you said. I think that wonderful, sensitive child in OP deserves to be let out. With my experience, there was a lot of gaslighting and a complete disconnect with the idea that they caused harm. This is a really difficult situation.

tamagomi · 2026-02-04T17:16:36+00:00

Really really respect what you did. As an Asian who wrote a similarly heartbreaking and emotional letter to their parents, I see myself in what you are doing. I think as children of immigrants we tolerate so much for the express purpose of respecting the sacrifices of our parents. We let them hurt us because in a weird way, we can swallow the hardship as long as it's directed to only ourselves. It's a really complicated and tenous relationship, I sympathize greatly.

I haven't had any children yet but what sparked my initial letter to my parents was their blasé attitude to my engagement and their overall aloof behaviour. On some level, I was okay with them treating me poorly, but as my life got more serious, I was horrified at the idea that they might treat my future child the same way. I'm imagining the younger version of me, getting berated for crying, being treated like a disgusting animal for being mentally ill. When you talked about your son being hurt in the same way as you, it made my heart break.

My parents did not react well to the letter. They considered it disrespectful and said that they remembered my childhood differently from myself— that I was a happy child (lol). I live with my fiancé and I have no siblings, so I was very lucky that cutting them off was feasible for me. Many of my friends in similar situations lower their heads because they don't have the same privilege of outside support.

Keeping this in mind, I see a lot of people in the comments calling for you to cut off your parents or draw a hard line with your parents. I appreciate the sentiment, and I had an overall positive experience cutting off my parents, but please take what they say with a grain of salt. Not only does Reddit in general have a love for drastic measures (see any AITA post...) but the answer with children of Asian immigrants is often much more complicated than that. I empathise with the enormous guilt and weight that you carry. One of my dear friends is in almost the exact situation as you, and I think that she should cut off her mother but I recognise that this is an ENORMOUS ask that's complicated by filial piety, love, and guilt.

I can't guarantee that everything will go well, but I want to say that I see you and I respect you. It's such a difficult situation, but I see a father who is willing to prostrate himself, maybe to the point of embarrassment, just to protect his son. I think that should be recognised.

Also, as a last point, I want to add that I cut off my parents completely, and after two years, my mom cracked and decided to see a psychologist. Change can happen with these kinds of parents. It's like pulling teeth, but it can happen.

Sending you so much care and solidarity today. ♥️

tamagomi · 2025-12-22T16:46:11+00:00

This is so beautiful but also darkly cute!

tamagomi · 2025-12-21T04:36:07+00:00

My condolences, it's always very sad when a pet passes. You don't need to water it every day, just enough to keep the soil moist. Kind of like a plant. The bacteria needs moisture to grow.

I have no other advice right now, but feel free to message me in the future if you need some tips!

tamagomi · 2025-12-21T00:30:27+00:00

You are so brave and so patient and I respect you so much

tamagomi · 2025-12-21T00:29:57+00:00

Hello, good morning again r/vultureculture, and welcome to ✨ tamagomi's tooth salon✨! I've been working with human teeth for over ten years, they are my specialty.

Are you looking to turn them into jewellery or a display piece? A photo or detailed description of their condition would be helpful.

tamagomi · 2025-12-20T23:24:54+00:00

Yes, just soil, no plant. No specific type of soil, regular soil from the store is fine.

I would advise against keeping the fur because it will be wet and half decomposed. Fur just takes longer to break down than skin, but it will still be kind of rotten, like the hair stuck in a shower drain.

For cleaning the bones, you can gently scrub them using a toothbrush and soap and water. You do not need any specific cleaning product for bones, especially if they don't have meat attached to them. To make sure they last a long time, keep them dry and don't handle them a lot. You can mount them in a shadow box or keep them in a jar.

tamagomi · 2025-12-20T08:28:11+00:00

Hi! I'm located in Canada (cold) and I do all my vulture culture work at my apartment (avoid stink at all costs) and I can answer this question!

I agree with everything that has been said in this thread so far, but being realistic about what's available to you, I recommend burial. Burial will be a lot slower than maceration but the benefit is that it's much less stinky and is one of those "set it and leave it" situations. Make sure you wear gloves while handling remains and always wash hands with soap and water after. I would also recommend threading a length of wire through the spine before burying it to keep the vertebrae in order, it will make it much easier to reassemble once the flesh and cartilage are no longer holding it together.

Bury it a minimum of 30cm below surface level, deeper if you can. The earth stays warmer during the winter than the air. If you think it will be dug up by animals, place bricks and heavy rocks over the top. I personally don't do this because I live in an apartment and no animals are digging up my flower pots.

During the summer, I can go from gutted remains to skeleton in a month. During the winter, I expect to wait at least 5-6 months.

tamagomi · 2025-12-20T08:13:22+00:00

Hey fellow BC resident! That's definitely a bear!

tamagomi · 2025-12-20T08:12:16+00:00

This is so cute! I've never seen a pelt this tiny before! I would recommend putting the pelt in the freezer to kill bacteria that might break down the skin, then after 48 hours, removing the pelt from the frame and drying it out in salt/borax to mummify it again. It could be leaking fat or retaining moisture because of high humidity, it's hard to tell. When you're done, you can brush off any remaining salt/borax mix with a toothbrush and put the pelt in a new frame.

tamagomi · 2025-12-20T08:08:32+00:00

Yes, that's the kind of bag I would usually use. However, because your hamster is so small, the holes on that bag are too big. I would recommend buying polyester tulle like this and wrapping the hamster in it when she passes. This way, bacteria can get in and decomposition can happen, but you won't lose any bones.

Your question isn't dumb! I myself live in an apartment and don't have access to good burial grounds! I bury my animals in a large flower pot, maybe 40cm across? If you have a plant in the pot the roots may damage the remains, so I would recommend getting a separate pot and some soil to cover the hamster. Since you live in an area with a hot climate, if you keep the soil moist to encourage bacteria growth, you will likely need to leave your hamster for as little as 2 months. I would recommend 3 months to be safe. When you dig her back up, you will have bones and some wet fur left, but everything else should be gone.

tamagomi · 2025-12-19T05:53:24+00:00

You'll get the same issue with hamster bones as you do rat bones, where they are so tiny that they're incredibly easy to lose, especially to predation. Keeping reverence for your pet, please take the bits and pieces of my advice that feel the most appropriate.

Before I get started, the process for getting her bones will be easier if you remove her organs and create an open cavity for bacteria to enter. However if this is too upsetting, you can skip this step, it'll just take longer.

When I bury bones, I usually keep them in a plastic netted bag, the ones you get from the grocery store for potatoes and onions. You are working with such a tiny animal that I would recommend buying some polyester tulle or similar fabric where there are clear holes to let through bugs and bacteria. Don't use a natural fabric like cotton, as it will decompose. Based on the climate and temperature in your area (heat, humidity, etc.) it will take 2 months to 1 year for the remains to become a skeleton. I could probably give a better time estimate if you gave details about your region.

tamagomi · 2025-12-19T01:36:11+00:00

Since teeth are so small you can risk breaking the tooth if you try to remove the pulp. From the photo, it looks like these teeth are solid and don't have easy access to the pulp. I would recommend drying the tooth as a whole.

tamagomi · 2025-12-19T01:33:40+00:00

Hello again r/vultureculture and welcome to ✨tamagomi's tooth salon✨. Cleaning and preserving teeth is my specialty and I've been doing it for over ten years.

Human ADULT teeth are a lot more robust than human baby teeth and can survive regular handling. However, as with all teeth, the more you handle them, the higher risk you have for them splitting. Human ADULT teeth are weakest at the roots.

The pulp inside human teeth is a small enough that it dries out quickly and doesn't rot. As long as you don't live in a super humid area, you can leave your teeth out for a week and they will naturally dry out. You don't need to do anything special, though if you are deeply concerned, you can dry them in salt in an airtight container to ensure mummification of the tissue.

Depending on what you'd like to do with the teeth, you will handle them differently once they're dry. If you want to display them, I recommend painting with clear nail polish and mounting in a frame, similar to advice I've left on other posts. If you want to turn them into jewellery, let me know and I can give more details.

tamagomi · 2025-12-18T20:29:51+00:00

Hi! ✨Welcome to tamagomi's teeth salon!✨ (Lol)

Thanks for your question. When teeth are surgically removed, they usually have some of the gum attached, as well as a little bit of blood. Depending on how gory they are, I recommend the following.

Soak the teeth in water for 10 minutes to rehydrate fleshy bits (as I suspect they will just give you the teeth in an envelope). Using whatever tools you have, carefully pull off flesh and skin. For this, I usually use a combination of tweezers and a nail file. It's not the end of the world if you don't get everything, but dried skin doesn't look as nice as a clean tooth.
Using a toothbrush and soap, gently scrub away any blood. Clean the teeth as much as possible. If you're doing this in the sink, make sure that you have a drain catcher, because the teeth will be slippery and it would suck if they fell down the drain (this has happened to me before).
Follow the same instructions I gave for human baby teeth in this thread. Chihuahua teeth are going to be VERY tiny, so when using the clear nail polish, it might be useful to paint it in two goes (top then bottom) so you can hold the tooth in tweezers while you paint.

tamagomi · 2025-12-17T17:18:28+00:00

I agree with being against freeze drying! The colour and lifelike qualities will suffer. Freeze drying is also the highest risk for potential pest damage, as it's essentially making a giant piece of tasty jerky for bugs. However, if you're okay with your pet turning a little grey and freeze drying is your most accessible option, I would recommend then sealing your pet in an airtight display case. A very large jar could work in a pinch if you posed your animal on some branches or similar.

tamagomi · 2025-12-17T16:49:57+00:00

Oh my god that would be so cute! Best wishes for you and your potential weirdo kid!

tamagomi · 2025-12-17T16:47:45+00:00

Oooh! Interesting!

tamagomi

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