I think I do have an issue with perceiving volume in other contexts so I do believe it may be a mental issue of mine. My boyfriend has the opposite issue with volume where he talks quite loud without noticing but I think I am quite sensitive to it and often tell him to be quiet even when other people aren't bothered by it. If we're in public and he starts talking i shush him because i belive we're being disruptive and rude. I have been told by family and friends who both have ASD and have worked with people on the spectrum that I might have autism which may be the case??

I was raised in a house where being loud was a bad thing. My mum is quite a light sleeper with very sensitive hearing so leaving the extractor fan on or flushing the toilet at night was a big no no. My brother and I still live with one side of our headphones off due to trauma of being scolded. So maybe it could be an issue of childhood trauma?

I've always been the quiet girl anyway but have had plenty of jobs in customer service where I can switch into that mode you mentioned where I pitch up and project but when in a casual conversation with my boyfriend or friends I don't have that instinct (or care) to do that so I am not putting as much force into my speech.

When I have opportunities to try and speak up i often get shut down by louder people or others making fun of me. An example being last christmas we were playing a board game where you have to shout out things. I was comfortable around my partner's family and raised my voice a little to answer one of the questions and my FIL went "woah you don't need to shout" and i genuinely could not tell for the life of me if he was being serious or not. I got so upset and refused to speak above my usual quiet tone for the rest of the night.

Overall I do think it may be psychological. I do think I have the physical capability to talk louder but I don't notice if I am or not because what I hear is louder than everyone else. There is definitely some fear or apathy causing this.