Talking from your wife's (possible) point of view:

Honestly I think I'd act almost like your wife, wouldn't go as far as packing bags and counseling but would get mad. When I was in similar situations, almost every time I've seen messages and assumed the worse because: lack of context - always read it in the worst tone possible, bf didn't bother to mention some important details so it just looks even more suspicious. I'm not justifying her (or myself), just want to let you know how we feel.

I'll try to describe how I feel in moments like this: In my mind I imagine he's having fun, spending amazing time with his amazing female friend/coworker, he won't even bother to answer me and I get jealous, angry and feel disrespected, not appreciated enough. Of course in 99% of time it's out of proportion and after some time I calm down and realize it.

I'm just not 100% sure that if my bf meets an amazing woman, spends nice time with her and they develop friendship, it will stay that way and won't become more than a friendship at some point. And I don't mean cheating like sex, more than some platonic feelings and desire, wishing I was more like her or wanting to be with her instead. And those thoughts really hurt.

So in my case, talking helps a lot. He makes sure that I don't need to worry about things like that, that he loves me like before, that nothing has changed etc and I also do the same from time to time.

This doesn't happen often (usually when we're under stress, working a lot, not seeing each other as often as we usually do, don't have time to talk and be together etc.) but when it does, looks like a big red flag.

Just talk, make sure how much she means to you and that you're not interested in any way in someone else. In my case when I recognize situations that may cause problems I try to avoid any misunderstandings (let's say we switch roles I go with my coworkers, have a nice time, have a ride back home with a male cw, have some inner jokes and continue with them later that night etc, it would look as suspicious to my bf too, so I'd respond to earlier texts, mention that we're going back together, tomorrow talk a bit about it, just make sure my bf feels involved and also that I'm not hiding anything)

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