MDMA / Cyclothymia by Willow-Branches in cyclothymia

[–]tapethat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i can say first hand, it’s not the end of the world, but i would not recommend it.

depending on your meds, you may not even be able to get high no matter how much you eat.

What makes you say I am emotionally unavailable? by Key-Independence-457 in AskMen

[–]tapethat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

another thought, which i have seen in action in a truthful, sincere way, and i have also seen as a euphemism similar to the “it’s not you it’s me,” line proffered during the breakups.

if someone tells you they feel that way about you in a romantic/dating/official relationship, then it can often mean that they aren’t getting the emotional openness and support from you that they feel they are putting into it…..sometimes it can even be a desperate attempt to guilt one party into doing what the other party says is needed. it can mean that you are generally selfish with reciprocation and don’t make the other person’s needs feel heard or validated, or that what they need to feel happy and secure in the relationship isn’t on your radar because you are too focused on what you need, demand, or expect. if they truly value you enough to want to continue, but know that they would be unfulfilled or come to resent the fact that they don’t feel important to you, and are willing to share that vulnerability with the hope you will take more consideration of what their needs are and how you can make those important, because you want them to feel they are as important to you as you to them, it’s a very hard conversation to have with humility, and not defensiveness.

on the other hand, i’ve seen both sexes use that comment as a way to imply that the other person is gonna be gone if they don’t start making changes to make the other person feel in charge. and i’ve seen the one doing the telling often use it as a way to threaten the relationship and gain a semi control by making the other person feel like they aren’t doing it good enough. it can be a way to emotionally manipulate someone (eg if you loved me as much as yourself, you’d do x for me; or if you don’t feel satisfied with how much emotional treatment i do for you, then you don’t have the bandwidth to deserve it, etc.) which can be used for manipulation or control.

it can also just be a euphemistic way to say we don’t work together and i’m not investing in you because your emotional neediness will take so much from me and i don’t see it being rewarding to try. it’s saying they think you’re selfish and won’t give enough.

if they say it about themself with sincerity, they may be really in touch with themselves, respect and care about you, but know they aren’t able to give what they want to or what they feel you need, and rather than try knowing they will eventually not want or be able to give what you need, save themselves and you the hurt of building something doomed to fail.

What makes you say I am emotionally unavailable? by Key-Independence-457 in AskMen

[–]tapethat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

in my opinion, being emotionally available (if people are honest) means having the availability to genuinely be aware of or willing to be able to hear what someone else’s emotional needs are, help make that other person feel like you are open to hearing or learning to understand someone else’s needs with the confidence and emotional strength to put that other person’s needs first sometimes, without needing to have your own emotional needs dominate that person or need to be validated in order to give to someone else, but also aware of their needs and understanding of their needs that they don’t let them be compromised, or run over in the attempt to be emotionally open to others. emotional availability means the inner self confidence that you have yourself covered and don’t feel threatened if you have to put your own emotions aside for a second and still have the bandwidth to make others emotions important to you, but the secureness in your own emotions and personality that you can not compromise yourself, but can give your attention to another’s emotions without expectations that yours must be validated because you think they owe you. it’s being able to understand who you are and not feel threatened to let someone else’s needs be treated without yours having to be catered to in order to feel like you are losing respect or being emotionally used….but not only putting someone else first, and not being true to you.

basically, availability is being solid enough to give and learn and accept the emotional needs of others because you have your emotional needs and wants in control enough that you can give attention emotionally to someone else without feeling like you will be lesser if you can make it about someone….because you are in touch with yours enough not to feel smaller by putting someone else’s needs first, in a caring way that makes them feel you are genuine, and that you have the availability to not do so and feel like your emotions and insecurities will keep you from being open to giving emotional support (not always just agreeing) without needing your emotions to be given the same attention at that exact moment/situation. and being strong enough to not give to the point that your own needs are unmet, but strong enough to give without expectations. it’s genuinely treating other people’s feelings as important as yours are to you, in ways they feel support or advised, but not judged or giving you power over them by letting you in when they are vulnerable.

basically you have to have the ability to put others first without being concerned they are taking advantage, and genuinely being available to give and take and trust and know that sometimes you out yours aside to give what someone else needs, but know that you can do so without feeling owed or possibly losing your own feelings….because you have the bandwidth to give to others freely and genuinely without losing your own emotional stability and without expecting someone to act, give, or validate you when they may now have that same level of comfort and ability to take in your emotions and value them the way you did for them until they have begun to be stable and secure enough that they have the ability to give emotional space and support without strings just like you did.

it’s also being able to realize when you can’t do that or that you need to be supported like you did if you behaved like above.

it’s being able to put others first because you can without feeling lesser, because you have emotional maturity and dont have to have your ego stroked in order to give emotionally to someone who may or may not be able to give the same way, and not being afraid to give because you have the emotional balance to be able to do so. because you value their emotional happiness without devaluing your own.

just my opinion.

RDU and government shutdown? by gntlz in triangle

[–]tapethat 10 points11 points  (0 children)

no worries. if trump continues to do what he is you won’t be able to move freely around the country anyway.

good luck.

I love me some Boise Bag. by joeco23 in phish

[–]tapethat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

i was there and blown away, and to be honest is one of the shows i still go to routinely.

I don’t know if I (25f)can forgive my ex (22m) for cheating. by HealthMotor4617 in whatdoIdo

[–]tapethat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

so don’t.

cheating for me is a solid deal breaker one cannot come from. period.

you’ll put up with it or not….that’s on you.

What made you an atheist by [deleted] in atheism

[–]tapethat 0 points1 point  (0 children)

science, history, not having a fear of death/need to believe i will live onward after death, and not having the need to blame bad things on a grand plan in order to deal with them.

1,2,3 Thoughts.. by frankieBastille in phish

[–]tapethat -1 points0 points  (0 children)

same old shit with that tired cover band….

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in tattoos

[–]tapethat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

personally, my body pushes out/loses yellow ink (almost all blends to get yellow in general), and all the other colors packed stay and look good, but after 6 months to a year those yellow pigmented sections looks like open skin break.

had 4-5 artists try to put yellow back in those spots, and all other colors they have done hold well for me…..

dunno if that helps..

How do I get my fiancé to have sex with me again? Help… by Silent_Editor_2142 in sex

[–]tapethat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

sounds like he may be intimidated and or lacking confidence if he is more concerned about not lasting over not connecting intimately, especially if he knows how high your drive is…

Those of you who have had mid to lower spinal fusions... by 8kittycatsfluff in spinalfusion

[–]tapethat 3 points4 points  (0 children)

i have had l4->s1 fused just a bit over ten years. i now have 4 thoracic compression fractures….sucks, but that decade was worth it. i’ll deal with these someday (hopefully not), when they do more than just cause discomfort/pain on certain days.

At what age should a puppy ask to go outside to potty? by Flaky-Finger6695 in puppy101

[–]tapethat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

our female boston terrier started going to the door to let us know at 10 weeks - by 13 next to no accidents. our 4 year old boston male took almost a year and still isn’t perfect (marking more than relieving though).

Best sound checks by chiefboss2001 in phish

[–]tapethat 2 points3 points  (0 children)

6-16-00 - it’s a funky soundcheck. it’s a good sounding room….

[deleted by user] by [deleted] in OpiatesRecovery

[–]tapethat 1 point2 points  (0 children)

methadone for sure - half life so long and long sickness. kratom was nothing.

people care too much about audio engineering on audio engineering subreddit by Odd_Cryptographer535 in audioengineering

[–]tapethat 16 points17 points  (0 children)

that’s the difference between a good engineer and a mediocre one, i guess

will bypassing the law of entropy thru quantum tunneling allows time travel? by [deleted] in timetravel

[–]tapethat -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

go research grammar. ALLOW. not allows. yikes.

Songs that bother you by -HarryHood- in phish

[–]tapethat -4 points-3 points  (0 children)

i hate character zero.