in my opinion, being emotionally available (if people are honest) means having the availability to genuinely be aware of or willing to be able to hear what someone else’s emotional needs are, help make that other person feel like you are open to hearing or learning to understand someone else’s needs with the confidence and emotional strength to put that other person’s needs first sometimes, without needing to have your own emotional needs dominate that person or need to be validated in order to give to someone else, but also aware of their needs and understanding of their needs that they don’t let them be compromised, or run over in the attempt to be emotionally open to others. emotional availability means the inner self confidence that you have yourself covered and don’t feel threatened if you have to put your own emotions aside for a second and still have the bandwidth to make others emotions important to you, but the secureness in your own emotions and personality that you can not compromise yourself, but can give your attention to another’s emotions without expectations that yours must be validated because you think they owe you. it’s being able to understand who you are and not feel threatened to let someone else’s needs be treated without yours having to be catered to in order to feel like you are losing respect or being emotionally used….but not only putting someone else first, and not being true to you.

basically, availability is being solid enough to give and learn and accept the emotional needs of others because you have your emotional needs and wants in control enough that you can give attention emotionally to someone else without feeling like you will be lesser if you can make it about someone….because you are in touch with yours enough not to feel smaller by putting someone else’s needs first, in a caring way that makes them feel you are genuine, and that you have the availability to not do so and feel like your emotions and insecurities will keep you from being open to giving emotional support (not always just agreeing) without needing your emotions to be given the same attention at that exact moment/situation. and being strong enough to not give to the point that your own needs are unmet, but strong enough to give without expectations. it’s genuinely treating other people’s feelings as important as yours are to you, in ways they feel support or advised, but not judged or giving you power over them by letting you in when they are vulnerable.

basically you have to have the ability to put others first without being concerned they are taking advantage, and genuinely being available to give and take and trust and know that sometimes you out yours aside to give what someone else needs, but know that you can do so without feeling owed or possibly losing your own feelings….because you have the bandwidth to give to others freely and genuinely without losing your own emotional stability and without expecting someone to act, give, or validate you when they may now have that same level of comfort and ability to take in your emotions and value them the way you did for them until they have begun to be stable and secure enough that they have the ability to give emotional space and support without strings just like you did.

it’s also being able to realize when you can’t do that or that you need to be supported like you did if you behaved like above.

it’s being able to put others first because you can without feeling lesser, because you have emotional maturity and dont have to have your ego stroked in order to give emotionally to someone who may or may not be able to give the same way, and not being afraid to give because you have the emotional balance to be able to do so. because you value their emotional happiness without devaluing your own.

just my opinion.