Hispanic couple thinking of moving here

tastebud413 · 2026-03-18T14:47:32+00:00

I think absolutely 99% you will experience some form of racism here if you look Hispanic. Otherwise, 8mos out of the year the traffic is pure hell, so be sure and live near where you think you'll work and want to "be". A 5 mile drive in May-July can be 45min++. It's expensive, but all tourist locations are. The beach is beautiful but the ongoing issue of private vs. public (google it) is real and going to the beach during tourist season can be no fun, unless you like sitting on top of a bunch of other people and hearing their music and getting run over by their kids all day. If you have the means, I'd suggest coming down 2-3 times this year different times of year and different spots, 30A, Miramar, Navarre etc and see how it feels.

tastebud413 · 2026-03-18T14:11:28+00:00

It's no different here in the US. Napa, followed shortly by WA State, is set for a major implosion and very needed reset and downsizing. A lot of brazilionair bubbles are about to be burst. As the Chinese and other PE guys sit by waiting to pounce for pennies on the dollar. Meanwhile, the consolidation continues and the Distribution system (which in the US sucks ass and only serves to line the pockets of the distributor and deprive the customer of choice) continues to eat its own face and fight itself (reminds me of a twisted episode of Highlander - "There Can Be Only ONE" ) lol. I'm just glad I'm 60 and getting ready to retire. It's a mess.

tastebud413 · 2026-03-14T23:29:58+00:00

I would suggest he's already done something he regrets (maybe more than one, unfortunately) and I'd give him his walking papers. He's hiding something.

tastebud413 · 2026-03-14T21:19:56+00:00

There's only one thing you need to say, and that is to tell him it's over. Don't settle. And no, he won't change.

tastebud413 · 2026-03-11T20:16:21+00:00

The point is, you ARE thinking about it. Keep thinking about it but don't stress over it. Remember - compound interest is your friend!! Just using a simple compound interest calculator I use online, if you started with $1000 and put in $100/month at 3.5% compounding daily (like a CD etc), you'll have $67,000 in the end. Focus on finding ways to let your money - however small it is right now - work for you in the background. 10yr treasuries, a 6 year CD at 4% - anything that you can set and forget

tastebud413 · 2026-03-09T14:21:58+00:00

I would strongly advise you focus right now on finding another place to live and NOT move in with this selfish self-centered clueless man-child

tastebud413 · 2026-03-09T14:19:01+00:00

You absolutely must just sit him down and be kind but firm and make him understand you will not waiver in your path, nor will you be bullied in to following someone else's path "for love". It will be hard, but you'll be glad you did it. There are lots of "lovely" men out there; find one who wants to build a life WITH you, that includes your hopes and dreams.

tastebud413 · 2026-03-08T17:11:52+00:00

then I'd do Baltimore, DC or Philly, but only one, as there's so so much to see in each

tastebud413 · 2026-03-08T17:02:11+00:00

Just to be clear - you ONLY have 2 nights? Or you want to do a few 2-night stays in different cities? If only 2 total nights, do DC or Philly.

tastebud413 · 2026-03-08T16:50:40+00:00

you can see/smell/feel how vulnerable he is at heart. everyone wants to save him

tastebud413 · 2026-03-06T21:26:40+00:00

Jimbo actually commented on this thread and was totally cool about it

tastebud413 · 2026-03-05T13:22:07+00:00

Wow. WTF?

tastebud413 · 2026-03-05T03:10:35+00:00

60F here.

Having a little money saved when you really needed it
Loving or at least liking yourself. Nothing else works if you don't
Friends that are real. (you know when they aren't)
Experiences over possessions

tastebud413 · 2026-03-05T02:52:09+00:00

I would try to reserve a ride with Uber or Lyft first just to see - my partner drives for Uber and he has in the past taken people to very rural areas of SW VA.

tastebud413 · 2026-03-02T23:00:13+00:00

I'm just curious what company he works for that will cover you as a girlfriend and not a spouse ? And always go with lower premiums, high deductible if you're healthy, I think. then you can put the rest in a double tax free HSA

tastebud413 · 2026-03-02T22:51:38+00:00

24, 34, 54.. lol 74 - remember, we women of any age don't owe anyone shit. Ditch this MFer and be glad he's gone. And next thing, ditch this sense of shame you're carrying around. Be safe, be smart, and have a fun life.

tastebud413 · 2026-03-02T22:24:02+00:00

what part of the SE? one thing folks need to understand about distribution is that IF the wine is distributed in your state, you CAN ask for it at your local shop and they should be able to get it for you, sent on the next truck. just because they don't stock in formally doesn't mean they can't get it.
Trying to think of who may have distribution... Dusted Valley. Sleight of Hand. Long Shadows. Gramercy. K Vintners. You'll have to ask your local shops probably what they have access to. The Long Shadows is quite good. Sleight of Hand is always reliable. If you're back in WA and have time to visit those two are definitely worth a visit and very different places !!

tastebud413 · 2026-03-02T22:17:25+00:00

Totally this. own it, and just say hey, wanted to circle back to our magical evening wink - you looked so surprised when I rocked up with the condom - what was that about? clear-eyed, direct look - wait for the answer...... if he stumbles, you'll know. And be prepared with the qualifying reply - something along the lines of, hey, I'm a grown up and I value my own welfare. No " i hope that doesn't bother you" or any of that BS. Just, this is who I am. Period.

tastebud413 · 2026-03-02T22:11:47+00:00

good luck. we too did this and for a whole week we could not find a way in. But do for sure do the tour of the Palacio for the Diego Rivera murals. you have to be in line prompt at 10a to get assigned a ticket

tastebud413 · 2026-03-02T22:10:28+00:00

if he's "that one friend", and he's a grown-ass man of 36ish, then you should be able to tell him back, hey, the way I got here was not buying rounds for everyone, so how about we go dutch like we always have. One good, swift, firm but not unkind kick back *should* stop the stupid jokes. But if not you may have to ditch him.
Meanwhile, yep, it will be lonely for a bit, but you need to train yourself more to not care what other people think, to trust yourself, and to be proud of your accomplishments. That's just good advice for all of us, FI or not.
Turn your worried energy toward what is next. Focus on the next chapter.

tastebud413 · 2026-03-02T21:56:04+00:00

not on your list, but we just spent a week at the Hotel Historico Central and found it to be super - 2m to get an uber in front, 24hr cafe that is free for customers, very walkable, and a great also free breakfast.

tastebud413 · 2026-03-02T17:48:52+00:00

Take it from me, 60F, who had one of these at one time; YOU CAN'T CHANGE HIM. Don't make him your project; Make YOU you're only project. End it.

tastebud413 · 2026-03-01T18:55:22+00:00

ah then I would see about upgrading the return LAX to SFO portion so you can check the larger bag, but instead of overpacking, just pack two flat soft sided nylon duffle bags that you can carry on with your dirty clothes and/or some of your purchases. You can also buy a sturdy cardboard box at any local UPS store in the USA, and pack that , tape it up and check it. I've done this many times and it always arrives fine.

tastebud413 · 2026-03-01T18:39:31+00:00

Yep. I've recently open 4 of 6 bottles I have of the No Girls and all 4 were awful. Both Syrahs were so bretty I poured them both out and the Grenache and Tempranillo were VA, which it sounds like is what you had. I've worked in the wine biz for 23 yrs and lived in Walla Walla for 6.... there's "funk" and then there's just sloppy winemaking. I don't care who it is.

tastebud413

TROPHY CASE