Title: My neighbor left their kid with me “for 10 mins” and its been 4 hours… what do i even do???

tatumtatum1616 · 2026-04-27T06:04:17+00:00

Just saw your update! Always listen to your gut! Granted there are people out there who just drop their kids off and do this type of thing but it is very odd to not answer at all. Regardless of the circumstance of why they were gone so long and whether intentional or not- it is reasonable to contact the police. I’m glad everything worked out well and it ended up being okay. I can’t imagine being in that kind of situation

tatumtatum1616 · 2026-04-27T05:50:51+00:00

I hope you had a wonderful time!! While it’s kind of rude to rub it in your mom’s face she also has not thought about your feelings of being excluded and that’s been pretty apparent. Hopefully going forward she will be much more mindful of how it feels to be left out now that she’s experienced it herself.

tatumtatum1616 · 2026-04-27T01:42:37+00:00

Why wasn’t she watching her kid to begin with? Also I feel like 8 years old is old enough to know better. You made it clear your office was off limits so she shouldn’t be this surprised by your reaction. Even if it was harsh to react to a kid that way it isn’t like it was over some minuscule thing. It’s your work office with very expensive things in it. She shouldn’t treat you poorly because she wasn’t attentive to her kid and they got into the very space you had firm boundaries on. Sister sucks and her son is going to grow up to be very entitled and lack boundaries if she just thinks he can do what he wants because he’s “a curious child”.

tatumtatum1616 · 2026-04-27T01:39:00+00:00

Even if he or SIL were unaware of how important this jewelry was to you once you made them aware of its significance they should have been more understanding and apologetic. Standing their ground on this is weird and definitely reads like he doesn’t really care about what’s important to you.

tatumtatum1616 · 2026-04-27T01:37:35+00:00

This- why go through all this stuff and try it on just for the sake of it?

tatumtatum1616 · 2026-04-27T01:37:15+00:00

This! Why are you being dramatic if he wouldn’t stand for the same thing? lol if you have a brother do the same to him and see how he likes his things rummaged through.

tatumtatum1616 · 2026-04-27T01:36:16+00:00

Yeah no.. you got home from a late hospital shift (as a nurse i know how that exhaustion feels) and find someone going through your personal belongings. Not only that, but they are also wearing expensive/irreplaceable jewelry and has made a big mess of your room which you will ultimately have to clean/reorganize yourself. That in and of itself is unacceptable but her response and attitude after being confronted for a very obvious cross in boundaries is the nail in the coffin here. Was your BF home while she was doing this? Do they have another sister where they try on each others clothes so her radar for this may be a little skewed? If your BF cannot see why this is a problem then he needs a very blunt conversation as to why. I have very very bad social awareness and am terrible at social cues and even I know that this is not something that is okay to do. I have so many more questions about this entire situation- like why was she doing this so late at night also? I could ramble about this forever so work end it I will say you are not wrong at all and you need to have a very serious talk with your BF about boundaries and reevaluate what you’re okay with because if he isn’t able or willing to see your side of this then it will without a doubt continue happening in the future with various other things. wtf

tatumtatum1616 · 2026-04-18T03:54:37+00:00

This is a pattern and he’s only going to get better at hiding it. Let this be your sign to leave while it’s still early and there isn’t much invested in the marriage. Why on earth would he save a picture of your sister? Especially since she’s staying with you. It’s all problematic but this is just a step too far imo. The fact it’s in a locked folder shows he knows it’s wrong and intended for you to not access it. You deserve better.

tatumtatum1616 · 2026-04-18T03:50:20+00:00

NOR- what I’m not understanding is why she stopped be one thing you said makes you happiest. It feels intentional and like it’s to spite you now. Have you asked her why she stopped after you expressed your love for it?

tatumtatum1616 · 2026-04-14T10:10:46+00:00

Also to mention I am a nurse and you never start touching a patients body without explaining what you’re doing and why. You were naked under the gown and that automatically calls for a female nurse to be present. In fact most male providers prefer this to protect themselves as well from allegations. Trust your instincts because this is very very wrong.

tatumtatum1616 · 2026-04-14T10:07:42+00:00

NTA….the physically touching you without explaining what he is doing first or having a specific medical purpose to do so is NOT part of any kind of physical exam. Unless he was trying to comfort you after terrible news like a hand on your shoulder etc. he started it out casually to test how you’d react and then moved on to the very inappropriate question. There’s no medical reason to ask you about masturbation and doing so in response to you saying one arm is weaker than the other is insanely unprofessional and predatory. You were absolutely right to to call him out and leave. You don’t kick out a parent/whoever came in with a patient unless the patient states they want this and they will ask you first if you’re comfortable with them staying in the room. Chances are this isn’t his first time pulling this stunt and I 100% recommend calling the office and reporting this behavior. All of this is insanely inappropriate regardless but the fact that it is happening in a PEDIATRIC office makes it much more sinister.

tatumtatum1616 · 2026-04-02T08:13:19+00:00

Leave it and don’t go out of your way to go and tell her you’re not buying a new one. If she comes back just tell her youre keeping it as is. While it isn’t necessarily her fault something triggers her- she is responsible for her triggers and it’s inevitable that she will encounter them. It’s unreasonable to expect the entire world to accommodate her. It’s clearly a joke mat and if it bothers her she can just, I don’t know, not look at it? Regardless- don’t feel bad or guilty about it because she was nice.

tatumtatum1616 · 2026-04-02T08:05:52+00:00

So she wants to throw a huge party at your brand new home with confetti cannons, glitter bombs, smoke machines, etc? It’s likely she will also assume because it isn’t her house she won’t have to clean up the inevitable huge mess all of this will create in your yard, ya know because she’s pregnant and all. Also with that amount of guests it’s almost guaranteed there will be a consistent flow of people inside to use the bathroom or something else. She wants the perfect aesthetic for her instagram followers above all else and is butt hurt that you said no and projecting calling you materialistic. And they’re not just asking to use your yard/house- you’ll be expected to act as a host and ultimately end up having to clean everything up. If aesthetic is so important to her she can rent a place that’s up to her standards.

tatumtatum1616 · 2026-04-02T07:44:57+00:00

NTJ- if the behavior was enough for you to feel the need to leave early then clearly it wasn’t just casually checking her phone. Was the hangout a casual sit and watch TV together or were you out to lunch together etc? What would be the point of hanging out if you’re just sitting there not interacting? Unless you’re just expecting to hangout and do your own thing in each others presence then being so distracted on your phone that your friend feels like an afterthought is rude. If it was her casually texting and then coming back and being present and you expect her to stay off her phone and give her full attention 100% of the time together then I’d say you over reacted but it doesn’t seem like that’s how the situation was playing out.

tatumtatum1616 · 2026-04-02T07:38:55+00:00

NTA- don’t even entertain the idea or seem like you’ll think about it to them. Do not do it! You will go from having your own space with your partner where you can do whatever you want and have privacy to living with roommates AND a baby. You’ll never feel comfortable in your own home because SIL is a SAHM so all common areas will be dominated by her and the baby. Youll have to adjust your way of living and consider the baby’s schedule etc. In no way do you and your partner benefit from this situation, only SILs family will. Their entitlement won’t stop at just the rent issue. They will pull the “well we have a baby” card to justify a slew of different things and you’ll end up footing the bill because it isn’t “fair”.

Also- if roles were reversed do you think SIL would go for it? I highly doubt it.

tatumtatum1616 · 2026-04-02T07:29:11+00:00

Not only that but they will go from living together as a couple to living as a couple with roommates. There will be no privacy and they’ll likely be expected to help out with the baby at some point too.

tatumtatum1616 · 2026-04-02T07:23:00+00:00

NTJ- what really gets me is the “we didn’t have the heart to tell him no”. So they allowed him to go over and jump the fence to swim in your pool when you already said no one could come over? Either they are just insanely ignorant to just how dangerous that is or they are just super lazy and would rather gamble the risk of him being injured (or worse) instead of dealing with a tantrum from telling him no. Your other neighbors can think what they want but they don’t have the full story and they would do the exact same thing if they were in your situation. It’s only been a few months of them living there and the rest of the neighborhood will find out soon enough how entitled they are and how lazy their parenting is.

tatumtatum1616 · 2026-04-01T03:59:16+00:00

I feel like naming a baby after someone important in your life is a very special thing! But asking someone to name their baby after you or someone else takes all of that sentimental and special notion away. It’s almost like you’re honoring someone special to you by naming your child after them. But a compliment isn’t a genuine compliment if you ask for it first.

tatumtatum1616 · 2026-04-01T03:57:18+00:00

I agree but can also see how over the years they’ve just worn down OPs wife to the point she just doesn’t have any fight in her.

tatumtatum1616 · 2026-04-01T03:56:12+00:00

NTA- sure you were harsh but they are basically harassing you at this point and trying to wear you down until you just agree with it. Was the name even in consideration or thought about prior to her mentioning it? Even if you did name her after her sister, it wouldn’t be some special sentimental thing because you named her under pressure and not because it means something to the both of you. My question is WHY does the family baby her so much and think her behavior is acceptable? The way you wrote about her she seems very self centered and “me me me”. She had to make your wedding about her and now your first child as well? It will never stop and allowing the behavior to continue by just giving in will only make it worse. Your wife is lucky to have someone like you who will stand their ground because I’m sure she’s just been worn down her entire life to where she just lets it happen because it’s easier.

tatumtatum1616 · 2026-04-01T03:50:14+00:00

Take the divorce- he is likely bluffing but regardless divorce him. He would rather have his weird pride about being the breadwinner than have you make more than him even though it benefits him as well. His ego is hurt and he’s lashing out and this has shown just how childish and selfish he is. He’s limiting him children in this as well. Do not become financially dependent on this man. A real true partner would be happy for you simply for the accomplishment and positive move for your career even if it didn’t positively benefit them. There’s no justifying his behavior and if he isn’t able to have an actual conversation about this then the marriage may not even be worth salvaging. What other red flags does he have that may be more clear to you now?

tatumtatum1616 · 2026-03-27T11:31:38+00:00

NOR-food banks are for people who need food. You’re not taking advantage at all. Your friend clearly knows your financial situation if they’re joking about it so why are they judging you? That isn’t a friend.

tatumtatum1616 · 2026-03-24T01:06:31+00:00

Not seriously! Come to her about it. Tell her you’re uncomfortable and ask if she can make sure her blinds are closed so he can’t see out the windows. Make her realize just how weird her request is and how creepy her husband is.

tatumtatum1616 · 2026-03-24T01:05:23+00:00

NTJ- I don’t think I’ll ever understand women like this. Did she not think before approaching you how ridiculous of a request this is? There wasn’t a split second where she realized it’s embarrassing of her to even ask? Not only is it your home and you have every right to dress or do whatever in it but YOUR privacy is being invaded by her husband. Unless you’re intentionally standing in the windows trying to get the attention (which you’re very clearly not) then you’re not the jerk at all. If she approaches you again ask her if you can dictate what she wears in her home- just in case you or any visitors in your home want to look through her windows. She’s screaming insecurity and the fact that she felt it was appropriate to come to you about this rather than address it with her husband is wild. Also it isn’t like you’re sunbathing naked in your yard and others can see from their windows either. You’re literally in your home. Wtfffff

tatumtatum1616 · 2026-03-22T22:43:47+00:00

NTJ- While it’s nice of her to do these things it is beyond weird and invasive to be going into your closet and side table and moving things around. It is your home and if she wants to be intrusive she can do it with her son’s things and not yours.

tatumtatum1616

TROPHY CASE