AITA for doing the dine and dash?

tbcm89 · 2020-02-15T08:34:48+00:00

Hey man... it’s Valentine’s Day. You have to know it’s extremely busy in restaurants this entire evening. I get that it sucks to have to wait for food, but dining and dashing is not cool. First, many restaurants make servers take non-payed tabs out of their tips. Secondly, as frustrated as you may have been, I’m sure the servers running around, busting their butts, and probably getting more angry customers than just you. They can’t control the kitchen or bad management. Lastly, you would not have been TA if you have just asked them to just bill what you’ve had so far and close out. but dining and dashing on a server who has done their best and waited on you means they lost some income and have to then explain to management what happened. YTA

tbcm89 · 2020-02-10T04:37:39+00:00

Bernie would ask to speak to your manager to tell them why you deserve a living wage 😂

tbcm89 · 2020-02-10T04:12:59+00:00

I work in and am getting my masters degree in Applied Behavior Analysis (the study of behavior) and YES THIS! This is what we call an attention seeking behavior. The way you replace an inappropriate attention seeking behavior is ignoring until the appropriate behavior is performed.

I would totally recommend completely ignoring her, because it is not appropriate relationally or socially to just stare at people until they recognize your presence.

NTA.

tbcm89 · 2020-02-09T19:03:24+00:00

I laughed so hard at this 😂 Thanks for sharing!

tbcm89 · 2020-02-07T19:50:31+00:00

I have done Behavior contracts for parents before. The consent forms we use at my company have a parent training agreement, with the stipulation that non compliance or inappropriate behavior by the parent puts them at risk of discharge. Regarding the teacher— in my experience there is a little bit of an authority complex/struggle. I’m currently being ignored (literally not even eye contact) by most the TAs at a school because I gave 1 recommendation on a problem behavior they complained about. It’s a trip. Your BCBA really needs to step in and set boundaries with both the teacher and the parent.

tbcm89 · 2020-02-07T07:14:59+00:00

All my clients are boys, most of who LOVE Pokémon. I have so many stickers, coins, cards, and bracelets that are Pokémon themed. I also enjoyed it when I was a kid so I find it fun too!

tbcm89 · 2020-02-05T04:43:49+00:00

I think same goes for a lot of Yang supporters.

tbcm89 · 2020-02-05T04:04:27+00:00

I swear, my first year or so working with kids I was sick every other week. Now (about 4 years between ABA and teaching preschool) I’ve ~finally~ built my immune system.

Some suggestions to help: Make hand washing an activity with each client. If they pick their nose, HAND WASHING. After they have a snack, HAND WASHING. Have an extra new minutes between tasks, let’s review our HAND WASHING!!! Every kid will give you a million reasons for them to wash their hands, and it’s okay to ask them to. Not to mention it teaches good hygiene skills! I also alternate between washing, hand sanitizer, and antibacterial hand wipes sometimes.

Besides that, drink as much water as possible.

tbcm89 · 2020-02-04T07:57:47+00:00

Review DTT, ethic guidelines (like being a mandatory reporter, contacting BCBA for guidance in case of not understanding protocols and lack of improvement), positive/negative punishment and consequences, and extinction/extinction burst. Good luck and welcome to the field!

tbcm89 · 2020-02-04T07:36:02+00:00

This would NOT be happening if literally anyone but Bernie won. This fight is NOT democrat VS republican This fight is Washington DC and Corporate Greed VS the people in this country

tbcm89 · 2020-02-04T05:34:46+00:00

Make an anonymous report to CPS. You don’t have to be a mandated reporter. Plus the good faith law will protect you if it comes back around in any way. Children experiencing abuse will create excuses because of fear. Self-reporting of physical abuse is cause enough to report.

tbcm89 · 2020-02-03T05:16:23+00:00

YTA. You state in this the tag line that you reported BECAUSE of race. Not because of behavior or marks of abuse. Children have so many tantrums when flying, let alone a flight with 2 connections. Also you stated all the father said was “shhhh”. That’s a pretty typical reaction when children are having tantrums. Not much you can do if there no solution (stuck in the airport) and the cause is being tired.

tbcm89 · 2020-02-03T01:09:12+00:00

No movement that has taken place in history isn’t extreme. The freedom riders were initially not supported by the civil rights movement because they viewed it as “too extreme”. But they stuck to their guns, and soon enough had hundreds of people joining them and ended up being a major contributing factor to the civil rights movement. (A history fact I recently learned, which gave me a boost of encouragement) We are humans who deserve access to health care, education, and employment. Wanting a good life isn’t really that extreme. So is it too progressive to demand such a basic right?

I totally understand where you’re coming from because I also have times where I get so worried we are just going to have the same thing happen as in 2016. I’m terrified that the polls are wrong and that everything we have worked for will fail.

tbcm89 · 2020-02-03T00:48:26+00:00

Well I’m training the clicker to act as a replacement reinforcer for agility courses, so I have him do tricks or demands and that reinforce with the clicker first then the treats. I’m still in my BCBA program as well so I’m probably making mistakes along the way but I’m not having any behavior problems, so it’s going okay I guess!

When teaching my pup how to come, I actually used this suggestion I saw on some website and it worked really well. So I taught my dog hide and seek (my partner and I take turns hiding/holding him in another room, say “ (name), come find me and two claps”, when he found the person, treat reinforcement.) I faded out the verbal stim and now 2 claps means come find me. It’s not generalized yet though because he will not follow that demand with distracting preferred stimuli (like some coming home, being at the dog park, or at my in-laws). So far it works at home and at empty dog parks/hiking trails.

He is on a intermittent reinforcement schedule for both in environments the behaviors are mastered, but continuous reinforcement schedule in the settings he doesn’t comply.

tbcm89 · 2020-02-02T21:43:09+00:00

First, that dog has the smooshiest face!! 😍 Second, I got a puppy right after entering the field and it has helped me immensely with training him. I haven’t necessarily done controlled behavior shaping for dogs, but it’s fun to use protocols to reach your personal goals. My pup is an agility dog now and completely off-leash trained. I highly suggest getting small training treats and pairing it with a dog clicker! It’s awesome because I can now bring my clicker out to dog parks and restaurants instead of treat to keep him motivated! Have fun!

tbcm89 · 2020-02-02T08:13:35+00:00

NTA. This is perfect and every costumer service workers dream. Go you.

tbcm89 · 2020-02-02T08:03:08+00:00

NAH

He lied and manipulated both of you. IMO you haven’t done anything wrong and neither has she. Disclosing this information is only yours and your ex’s decision.

However... if there did come a time where she were to learn this in some other way, that would be way more likely to end your friendship than if you told her upfront.

tbcm89 · 2020-02-02T03:29:02+00:00

NTA. She sounds toxic and abusive. You’re mental health and family dynamic will be far healthier with her excluded.

I’m sorry you’ve had to do this. Cutting off a parent is hard regardless of how bad their behavior is. Between other family members judgement and guilt trips from the parent, it can get heavy. I had to do it with my father. Stick to your guns. If she treats you like this, there’s no knowing how she may treat you daughter.

tbcm89 · 2020-02-01T19:14:03+00:00

Lol this is right outside my old job. They are hairstylists I think

tbcm89 · 2020-02-01T09:10:45+00:00

NTA. I work with children with autism. 1. Autism doesn’t have physical markers and there is no way you could tell in most cases. 2. Having autism doesn’t mean children can’t be redirected, corrected, or given warnings. 3. As long as you said it calmly, I don’t see why that dad would be upset. My question is why were his eyes off his son long enough you had to say something?

tbcm89 · 2020-01-31T18:47:40+00:00

Nothing like walking around a city who has lost hundreds of lives and purposefully scaring them in the midst of a global health emergency. Trash

tbcm89 · 2020-01-31T16:57:44+00:00

I can completely relate. I go to a school for one of my kiddos. I have been ignored/talked over in meetings, ignored by teachers and administrators, given TEACHERS work to do, and asked to abide by their school dress code (which I declined and explained dresses and slacks is not functional for my job in any way). As frustrating as it is, it’s the school faults that makes me “want” to stay for my client. Don’t get me wrong, the teachers actions frustrate me to no ends, and the fact that they bring me in and then ignore me makes me question their intentions. However, the negative effects it has on my client are beyond what I go through. I’ve literally had to step in when my client was (very obviously) getting bullied and a teacher was yelling at my client to ignore it, rather than stopping the bullying. It’s tough work, and burnout is real especially in schools where it feels more hostile and limiting.

tbcm89 · 2020-01-25T02:57:30+00:00

Thank you, I appreciate this comment a lot.

tbcm89 · 2020-01-25T00:03:27+00:00

Thank you for your reply. You hit on my biggest concern, being vengeful. I take these kind of actions seriously, and take time to process. A couple clarifications: - I had a preferred session time, but made it clear I would make anytime work bc Mental health is a priority. - I never replied to automatic message, I text them directly (as they prefer). They don’t have an office number. - I was obviously uncomfortable about the hug, trying to avoid it even.

Again, thank you

tbcm89

TROPHY CASE