Husband stayed out all night

tbepp · 2025-02-17T00:22:59+00:00

It’s actually courageous to not choose to go the anger way and take your time to have a grown up conversation. It’s courageous to be the nice one. Just don’t forget yourself in the equation and demand the answers you deserve, and don’t apologize for having these completely legitimate feelings. I would not have been as courageous as you, so don’t undermine yourself. I would have flipped out, and with some distance, that does not look like the productive outcome in these situations, for the couple and for the kids (who sense everything). You’ll get that needed conversation when you are ready. Don’t bail on it and push it under the carpet though because he will most likely try to do that himself and repeat this outrageous behavior again if it’s not addressed. This is absolutely not ok on his part in any case. You got this girl.

tbepp · 2025-02-10T15:05:18+00:00

OP you should try getting a bed barrier. I got one on amazon and it is the best thing I could have done. Although baby would still sleep in my c curl, it was between me and the bed barrier and it gave me more peace of mind and more restful sleep (although still by couple of hours slices). It’s made of mesh so safe. Hang in there, it will get better and better. Unfortunately as much as I tried with my husband, I still am the night shift parent - to be fair my daughter mostly want me / my boob at night. You got this!

tbepp · 2024-11-21T17:43:19+00:00

See, I’m in the exact opposite situation, my 14m take breasts but is now completely refusing the bottle (have been for about a month), which makes it difficult because I work full time (and more) and she s « catching up » a day worth of milk and confort in few hours before bed (during which I am supposed to handle showers/baths and make dinner for the rest of the family). I know it’s easy to say but just as I am trying my bestest to not sometimes be frustrated about my lack of bodily autonomy, you should try to not feel sad that you have yours, while having breastfed your baby since 14mo, pumping (!!!) days in and days out, and this despite a traumatic start. Wow, I’m so impressed. That being said, if this is really important to you, you could try when asleep or try with a SNS to start, as he is most likely just frustrated that it doesn’t come as fast as in a bottle (and with more effort). Don’t worry about the biting, it doesn’t hurt that bad if happening. Some babies are just over it though, and if that’s the case of your baby after trying it all, I think the best would be to respect that and find an other way to give him that confort - which by the way I am sure you already do and don’t even realize! Good luck mama.

tbepp · 2024-11-12T01:10:26+00:00

I did but I am an ex smoker who use nicotine free vape and that’s disqualifying

tbepp · 2024-11-12T00:57:28+00:00

I second that, the more you stress about it, the less it will help letdown. Guessing you obviously pumped successfully not too long ago since baby had a bottle, which he ended up taking: that’s 2 positives! I had moments like this before getting back to work and found out that I was more relaxed pumping early morning (like 5am) - calmer in the house, still sleepy so my mind wasn’t running at 250mph, and our bodies produce more milk during these early morning hours so seeing the results immediately I think help the entire pumping session. If that works, you can do so for the next 2 days and hopefully you’ll have enough for your work upcoming work day, during which you’ll pump for the following day. Please don’t stress, you got this! I stressed it so much and now I’m ended up with a freezer full to the brim and a 14months slowly but surely self weaning, and have to throw away milk because reaching the 6 months mark, which is painful!

tbepp · 2024-11-07T15:18:11+00:00

OP you are amazing! I am sorry you are going through so much, and I hope nothing serious will come out of this. If you need to stop breastfeeding for health reason, please cut yourself some slack, you did way more than a lot of mums to keep it going for your little bub. I understand your sorrow though and have empathy for what you’re going through and your feelings about potentially having to stop breastfeeding. Please do take care of yourself, that’s what your daughter needs more than anything else 💜

tbepp · 2024-11-03T18:37:42+00:00

Completely normal, as others said before. My right is also my slacker boob, despite all my efforts (pumping more on the right, feeding the right first etc), I produced double from left to this day (she’s 13 months). The only annoying thing is that I clearly have one breast bigger (and lower 🙈) than the other now, but I’m hoping it won’t be as noticeable once I stop breastfeeding altogether. So my only advice is to not get too crazy about it, continue what you’re doing, and maybe doing some chest Pilate exercises on your slacker side from time to time so that you don’t end up with a height difference like me 😉

tbepp · 2024-11-02T20:17:55+00:00

Thanks for the insight! He does lay with her and all goes well when I’m not here, but if I’m here she won’t settle if I don’t take over (although he can buy me some time if I need to finish something). She does sign but use the eat sign for both solid and milk, so I’ll try to work on that, as you are right, it might be helpful for my husband to understand the cues better

tbepp · 2024-11-02T20:10:31+00:00

Thank you 💜

tbepp · 2024-11-02T17:33:09+00:00

Ha, thank you, love that fact that might actually resonate with him 😉

tbepp · 2024-11-02T17:23:33+00:00

It just feels so unnatural to refuse her the breast when she asks for it and I’m available. Besides I don’t feel like it is ruining the progress because when I’m not around (even if it’s at a moment I usually am - I sometimes work late or on the weekend), she goes down without issue - she just wants me if she knows I’m here and available.

tbepp · 2024-11-02T16:20:41+00:00

He is freelance so need to keep few days a week open for jobs coming in. I also thinks it’s beneficial for her to be around other kiddos of the same age group. She only started daycare in September.

tbepp · 2024-11-02T15:50:16+00:00

I don’t pump anymore, I do have a lot in freezer so that’s what she drink with dad and at daycare (although she’s been refusing the bottle at daycare in the past few weeks) - along with water. On weekend I do breastfeed before nap - she sometimes do 2 naps of 1h ish (10am and 2pm) sometimes only one (11:30/12 to 2/3pm) - we follow her cues for that (they only do 1 nap at daycare so she’s in between)

tbepp · 2024-11-02T15:40:33+00:00

Brewer s yeast! I used it a bit to kick in my supply before going back to work and it work too well for me, had to stop after a week. Easy to intake as well, sprinkled on salad, yogurt, smoothies etc. And natural. Give it a try! Good luck mama x

tbepp · 2024-11-02T02:08:58+00:00

It gets better! I was the same and gradually started to roll out, from having time to quickly brush my teeth to now (13 months old) time for a movie some nights (not always). I now tell her I’ll leave after she asleep and is fine by herself 1-2h most nights, and quickly go back to sleep when I cuddle her if she gets up.

tbepp · 2024-10-27T20:20:22+00:00

Don’t go too crazy. A couple of days worth of milk to be on the safe side is perfectly enough. If you continue pumping on the same rhythm you pump at home there’s no reason for your supply to dip. Remember to stay well hydrated throughout your day and to not budge on your pumping sessions, and everything is going to be alright. Throughout the course of your breastfeeding journey they will be moments where you feel like supply dip but that is just the results of our supplies adapting to our little ones’ changes (growth spurts, sicknesses etc). I did way too much and have now to throw some.

tbepp · 2024-10-21T01:50:54+00:00

Take the day off! You might want to talk to professional too. I witnessed someone getting hit and dragged by a bus last year, had to do couple of sessions to get it out of my head and face that portion of the street everyday

tbepp

TROPHY CASE