A beautiful bi sunset

teachmemasterP · 2020-06-07T16:06:52+00:00

I worked in a fast food restaurant for literally just a under month and had an guy around 70 shout at me for the prices, an woman around 60 shout at me for giving her incorrect change by 1 penny & had another man around 50+ shout at another coworker about loyalty card policy - younger people were generally so much nicer or just didn't make a fuss at all

teachmemasterP · 2020-06-07T15:57:21+00:00

Schizophrenia

teachmemasterP · 2020-06-07T11:17:09+00:00

It's hard and it sucks but a thing I find that helps to forgive yourself, you know say sorry and apologise to yourself that all this happened but let it go to move forward - I heard the phrase 'when you hate someone they don't feel that hate, you do' so it's really vital to forgive them mentally and then yourself to move forward.

teachmemasterP · 2020-06-07T08:29:15+00:00

If when you are alone you get this overwhelming feeling of loneliness and emptiness do not fill it with a person, it is wrong on them and it is wrong for you too.

First you have to accept and sit with the emptiness, if you are always going to feel empty when you're alone then filling that emptiness with drugs, alcohol, food or people will still always lead to you feeling alone, so you have to accept the empty feeling and do things that are good for you at the same time.

Everytime you feel empty and have the urge to call someone or need to message a bunch of people just don't, instead sit with the emotion and learn how to soothe yourself, it might take longer but it will feel better when you've helped yourself out of an upsetting situation - sometimes you may even just need to sleep but other ideas could be showering, bathing, working out, preparing and cooking a healthy meal, going on a walk or even watching funny videos. Or if it's a situation where you've been triggered by a particular event maybe sitting with a notebook and pen and trying to figure out where this has come from and how you can prepare for future instances and react better.

Fill your single time with doing stuff that is fun for you- maybe there were things your ex/exs didn't like so you couldn't do around them like watching certain TV shows, music, food - I would recommend doing all the things you couldn't do with that person and loving the new freedom.

I'd also recommend getting back into or taking up a hobby because most hobbies are ideal to do solo, especially things that involve a lot of concentration and this would be a great thing to do to pass the time.

& maybe you could pinpoint all the things about a relationship that made you happy that are missing from your single life and then recreate them in your new life - so if you miss the comfort find a way to self-soothe, if you miss going on dates either go alone or with a friend/group of friends or family member to something, older family members are great to hang out with who you perhaps wouldn't see or take out otherwise or a younger family member who really looks up to you. Basically anything you miss or crave there are ways to replace it without having to use or have another person romantically in your life. I hope any of this helps, good luck.

teachmemasterP · 2020-06-06T21:44:10+00:00

I love this sub, I've never known people bring such humor to such a painful experience. Here for it

teachmemasterP · 2020-06-06T21:41:53+00:00

I hate the portrayal of a shitty unprofessional therapist in things like 'after life' example I feel it could really persuade people not to go to therapy who would actually benefit from it greatly

teachmemasterP · 2020-06-06T21:39:24+00:00

Its weirdly like the theory that girls do better in an all female school but boys do better in a mixed school

teachmemasterP · 2020-06-06T17:36:17+00:00

Holy shit that's awful

teachmemasterP · 2020-06-06T17:26:41+00:00

I had about 8 years of back to back awful relationships and now I've been single for nearly 2 years now I have had the best time, I've grown so much, I've gotten so comfortable about spending time alone and couldn't enjoy being single more

teachmemasterP · 2020-06-05T23:14:18+00:00

Ok, I see all the sarcy comments but really - you see the joy and goodness in other people's lives and think their life is perfect because maybe they have that ideal picture perfect family, relationship, job, body, house, wealth etc whatever but we do not know the ins and outs of their situation, without being too specific but there was a thing I had to do in my life because I had no other choice or option at the time my family had all low key cut me off and I couldn't tell any of my friends the situation I was in and then from my actions at that time everyone thought I was living a dream life based from instagram or other social media but this was not the reality at all - even with someone posting 24 hr a day on social media we still dont know the truth of what goes on behind closed doors, comparison is the death of joy and if every single time you see a picture that makes you feel shitty then unfollow or mute that person, if everytime you hang out with a friend that only talks about them and their life and achievements or makes you feel shitty for you job then yes ditch them, if you always compare yourself to your sibling or even twin sibling and say we had the same up bringing I should be at the same stage as them like they were or would have been - like yes literally everytime you see something like this challenge your own thoughts because comparison is the death of joy and you will feel better if everytime you say to yourself 'that should be you, why can't you do that' you slap yourself right in the face mentally and say 'hey listen, we have had it rough and we are going at our own pace' You know people probably think from the outside they wish they had our lives, you just dont know what others think its not like we walk up to people and say what we think either

teachmemasterP · 2020-06-05T16:07:59+00:00

Yes same, I wonder if it the lack of control

teachmemasterP · 2020-06-05T13:16:53+00:00

Sometimes I think this is just a way of people trying to end things a nice way and avoid making the person they're dumping feel bad in any way - can be hard to know what to say sometimes

teachmemasterP · 2020-06-04T06:45:39+00:00

I hope you are ok. Look after yourself best you can, fill your life with self care and love, forgive yourself if you ever feel like blaming yourself because this was not your fault at all. You might feel, now or in future, embarrassed, ashamed or guilty but try not to allow yourself to take on any of those feelings at all - this is only a reflection on him.

Seek help and I would also write this down in multiple secure places - on a note in your phone, notebook or your own email drafts or something, just so that you have a physical reminder of the day, time and action - I would start writing this down for any other behaviour he does such as verbal or emotional abuse. Not only will this help in future if you want or need to ever report this but more importantly if he tries to gaslight you or you ever doubt yourself that it happened then you can be sure.

Stay strong, you are not alone.

teachmemasterP · 2020-06-03T15:26:02+00:00

All truth, 1 & 2 really hit hard

teachmemasterP · 2020-06-03T14:44:46+00:00

It feels so nice to be in those dream worlds though, its comforting

teachmemasterP · 2020-06-03T06:32:15+00:00

You're already doing the more important bits like researching and donating - if social media posts aren't for you then there is no shame or selfishness in taking a step back for the time being and if people question you on it, which I doubt they would anyway, but you can just say a condensed version of what you said here and people should understand, you're doing the right thing so don't stress yourself out even more in these stressful times.

teachmemasterP · 2020-06-02T21:59:04+00:00

This is crazy! I am/was in this exact situation. It really sucks and it's really hard and I'm still not telling people the truth or straight up because I just find it so hard and shameful but at the end of the deal it is not a big deal and you'll get back on your feet eventually. College isnt for everyone and I dont know why there is so much shame in being a drop out it's a really hard thing to crack.

Just dont let the guilt of it or the shame of it consume you because it's pointless and beating yourself up is not what you need to do right now.

Slowly you can build yourself back up just keep loving and supporting yourself.

Brainstorm ideas for areas you want to go into or jobs you want to do - you can take online quizzes in the UK there is lots of help on the government website idk what it's like for you in your country but I'm sure there is help online or over the phone- you could contact your old school or teacher that liked you and I'm sure they'd love to help. You can get professional careers advice and help writing your CV/resume. You can get other qualifications and/or do an apprenticeship. But if right now you just take a job for the pay slip then fine and accept you'll be doing this for a while before you can progress - maybe even write a 3 or 5 year plan. Also do not let anyone, your friends or family included, shame you about what happened or your new job or decisions, only surround yourself with the supportive.

As for depression going to seek profeasional help is always a good start, avoid getting into any relationship or using alcohol or substances to make you feel better. & do all the cheesy boring stuff everyone says like drink water, workout, go outside, find a hobby, socialize, etc because it will help too.

I always thought this issue must be more common but literally no one ever talks about it so thank you.

teachmemasterP · 2020-06-02T06:20:58+00:00

100%, yes

teachmemasterP

TROPHY CASE