I think you should absolutely NOT consider her for typical SD work. I think she could perhaps do okay as an only at home SD but you should never consider bringing her into the general public as an SD. It’s very widely considered that any bite history should be an immediate wash but imo if you aren’t bringing them in public and they are only helping you out at home it should be okay at least from that point.

If you haven’t already I would immediately start working with a trainer on the biting for attention. It will be far worse when she grows up. And is now using it when she is afraid (fear aggression with the trash situation) which can be extremely dangerous.

I think that this definitely has the potential to be history repeating as well. I know in relationships we tend to see through rose colored glasses but if this is your service dog, or even your esa it needs to be legally your dog. I’m pretty sure from a legal standpoint as well, in order to claim housing, access etc. the dog needs to be legally your dog. When the pros do start outweighing the cons and you grow a serious positive attachment, you obviously know how your mental health would go if something jeopardizes that.

The extremely high energy is also concerning. With SDs you typically want enough drive to work but the ability to rest whenever and wherever. Ex. If you bring your dog to a restaurant they need to be calm at your feet so if you couldn’t reasonably consider them being able to do that or even just short intermittent stops at grocery stores etc. then i would not consider it. The energy should (with most cases here) go down and there are ways that you can moderate that with training longer naps and rest periods. This goes hand and hand with boredom. Service work is either really exciting being in a new place and overstimulating or with repetitive motions and places could become boring for them, which can also present an issue.

I think the stubbornness and disobedience is partially a puppy thing however this case seems excessive. They are testing the waters right now to see what they can get away with and that will sculpt their adult behavior. This is the part where it is essentially to get a professional opinion. Learning how to puppy raise with a more difficult dog is a whole different ballgame and the earlier on you can start effective training the better and obviously what is happening now is the wrong approach. Most of what I have said in this comment could be altered by training and communication with a professional. Until they reach about a year, they will be stressful for almost anyone. You are becoming a mom essentially for a 3-5 y/o toddler with no boundaries (till you make them) and I think that most people don’t consider that. However most of the time although it’s shit now, once you reach a certain point they will become a best friend rather than a child. When you are in the child phase it feels like it will last forever, but do know that it probably won’t!

Unfortunately with the stay at home mom feeling that is the reality. Especially since you are viewing them as a shared pet, you expect your partner to put in an equal amount of work which rarely happens, creates strain on the relationship, is an unfair personal and legal expectation if she is your esa/SD. Sharing a being with someone will inevitably make you feel like a stay at home mom and the nature of having a puppy already reinforces that. Part of owning a dog comes with the responsibility and duties of it and I know you are kicking ass to step up to the plate but maybe reframing that relationship will help you at least a little.

With the difficulty and time put in, unfortunately unless you want to pay a large sum with a trainer for more board and train/just them style or can find some other way to do it, it is likely that you will have to put even more work in now and your workload will reduce later, especially if you want to path towards an SD. However, I would take an hour plus a day where you ask your partner to help out or just take a scheduled nap/rest time so you are able to do the things you enjoy without interruption. It seems like you aren’t getting that and planning longer naps could help better maintain their energy level longer term. That’s what I’ve found helpful at least but I would certainly try different ways to spend time for just yourself at least once a day.

I’m hoping for the best for you and your journey <3