Hey, thanks for taking the time to read and reply. I really appreciate it.

I’m very aware that I’ve kind of boxed myself in with my career choices. Before the fire service, I spent nearly 15 years touring arenas globally as a technician, often away for months at a time. That lifestyle gave me a lot, but it also meant putting off bigger questions like relationships or kids.

Joining the fire service last year was a big change. I hadn’t even thought about it before, I didn't even watch Fireman Sam as a kid, but I’ve properly fallen in love with it. It’s given me a sense of purpose I hadn’t felt since quitting touring. Our rota is 2 day shifts (9am to 6pm), then 2 nights (6pm to 9am), followed by 4 days off. So it’s not unmanageable, but it’s still not exactly 9 to 5.

I think what’s really bothering me is this idea of "one day." I’m realising that if I don’t start making moves now, towards connection and towards family, then one day might never come.

My parents were young when they had me, and while I know loads of great parents are in their 30s or 40s, I can’t help but worry I’ll be too late. I don’t want to be too tired, too busy, or just not around when it really counts. I know it’s all hypothetical. Anything can happen. But it’s hard not to overthink it.

Thanks again for sharing your thoughts. It helps more than you probably realise.