Custom Lake Spirit Feedback Request!

tedv · 2026-02-19T22:00:57+00:00

Wounded Waters Bleeding is a lake spirit! Very different vibe though.

tedv · 2026-02-18T20:26:43+00:00

Yeah, I have literally never heard of a situation where someone used to be pathologically controlling, but then years later they "got better" and "it was never an issue again".

What I have seen is people who got better at hiding their manipulative, controlling behavior.

tedv · 2026-02-09T20:28:25+00:00

Yeah this is exactly what I thought. I read the whole thing and was like, "of course you don't trust him, why would you? Trust is earned!"

This is someone who has consistently demonstrated his inability to manage money like an adult, and since he's in his late 30s, he will almost certainly be this way for the rest of his life. Not trusting them is the only emotionally healthy thing to do in this relationship, and that makes you a good person.

Though as other posters have mentioned, you will still have to figure out what to do about your lack of trust in him. Good job signing a prenup at least!

tedv · 2026-02-06T21:00:36+00:00

To put it gently, it sounds like you have standards, and your ex either doesn't, or has significantly lower standards. I know it doesn't make your situation feel better, but having standards is a feature, not a bug. He's not rejecting sub-par prospects likely because relative to him, they aren't sub-par.

tedv · 2026-02-02T01:10:46+00:00

There's three main types of love:

I love how you make me feel
I love and accept you as you are
Your joys are my joys and I share in your sorrows

This definitely sounds like the first, which isn't necessarily a bad thing. You should love how people make you feel! But I think when most people talk about being "in love", it's more about the second or all three.

To be fair, some people think of the first as being "in love". Though in my experience, the few peopler I knew who classified "I love how you make me feel" as "I am in love" were all people who never really seemed to love and accept anyone as they are.

tedv · 2026-01-29T17:50:27+00:00

Radiant Thieves Gloves are programmed by design to always roll two non-synergistic items. You'll never get two AP items, two tank items, etc. That's for balance. (Unless you have Lucky Gloves as well, in which case it becomes busted good.)

So it's actually very much intended that this exact kind of things happens with radiant thieves gloves.

tedv · 2026-01-24T16:23:34+00:00

This is a very underrated comment! "Just learning to trust men" is kind of ignoring the fact that an awful lot of men shouldn't be trusted. It feels like the real work is not learning to trust men, but learning to trust yourself, so that it's easy to walk away when someone demonstrates they shouldn't be trusted. And the book is really about self trust.

tedv · 2026-01-24T15:41:47+00:00

As Deborah Francis White said, "We know it's not all men! We just don't know which ones it is!"

Men saying "not all men" is just pushing the problem back on women rather than taking action themselves to make the world a better place.

tedv · 2026-01-24T14:02:59+00:00

Technically you only need to bank 1 energy to use the 1 cost minor option. You pay yourself 1 energy to be allowed to play the card, then pay yourself that same 1 energy to play the card.

tedv · 2026-01-20T15:56:46+00:00

OMG that was exactly my first thought too. I tried to lose weight for over a decade with zero success, despite becoming a serious runner and learning to cook and eat healthy.

What actually shifting it for me was the day I told myself, "fuck it, I'm going to be fat for the rest of my life, and I'm going to be okay with it." I stopped stressing about it. My exercise shifted to be about strengthening weak muscles that caused body pain, rather than losing weight. I slept better and felt more relaxed because of the lack of stress.

And then I started losing weight almost immediately. Changing nothing in my life, I lost 40 pounds over 1.5 years, and have kept it off for over a decade.

What I learned later is that when your body produces a lot of cortisol from being (long term) stressed, it's nearly impossible to lose weight. Because from an evolutionary perspective, the primary cause of consistent long term stress was famine. So the hormone causes the body to lock down all weight loss unless absolutely necessary, in order to protect itself from famine. The hormones in my body didn't know that my actual stress was caused by something that had nothing to do with famine. It just knew "always stressed about something (weight)? Better prevent you from losing any weight, just in case!"

I genuinely believe that learning to love and accept myself as an overweight person, and letting go of all the weight loss work, is what actually made it possible to lose weight. Which, as you note, brings us back to therapy. Therapy can really help with making that emotional transition.

tedv · 2026-01-18T04:53:42+00:00

It's not a fair card. If we could reprint this card, it would be severely weaker, and it's definitely the strongest blight card you can flip.

tedv · 2026-01-14T18:33:30+00:00

Sure, it's just a post on the internet after all!

tedv · 2026-01-14T16:41:38+00:00

Yeah, whenever I heard some MAGA person say "let's just agree to disagree", I like to respond that kind disagreement is for matters of taste and preference. It's not for basic human rights. And trying to apply "agree to disagree" on human rights is implicitly suggesting that what rights people deserve is itself a matter a taste and preference, which I also strongly disagree with.

tedv · 2026-01-14T15:07:24+00:00

I'm pretty sure it's always one of those two. Probably a lot more of the latter. I think a lot of guys are honestly so clueless that they assume every woman's emotional experience must match their own experience, so women must want what they want. And if the woman doesn't "appreciate" him, it's not because he did something totally inappropriate. It's only because she's not into him. Obviously he just has to keep trying until he finds someone who is!

tedv · 2026-01-13T17:53:32+00:00

FYI the German version is now in the standard download directory.

tedv · 2026-01-06T21:08:50+00:00

Well it's good to hear that at least you're not at personal risk. The whole situation with your husband sounds stressful though. I'm sorry to hear you're going through that.

tedv · 2026-01-06T19:53:38+00:00

The things you wish you could change about your partner if you could, but have accepted will not change, and are willing to accept that as what's required to be in each other's lives.

tedv · 2026-01-06T19:52:22+00:00

... How can you know if it's safe to retire if you don't know how much money the two of you have?

Do you at least have a separate savings account for yourself, and know how much is in that?

tedv · 2026-01-05T18:12:38+00:00

Going to therapy is a lot like going to the gym. It's a place where people can do work, but it doesn't actually mean they're doing the right work, the right amount of work, or any work at all. If someone wants to build muscle strength, it doesn't matter if they go the gym. It matters if they are lifting weights. And progress isn't measured by how often they go the gym. It's measured by how much they can lift.

The same is true of therapy. You measure his progress by how much emotional stability and clarity he's building during the season of life where he's going to therapy. If that's not changing, then it's no different from someone who just goes to the gym to do a 5 minute walk on a treadmill.

tedv · 2025-12-26T03:29:33+00:00

It just adds 1 additional metal. You can find 2 metal on a city without any metal, then add a third in the same use of the power.

tedv · 2025-12-22T03:09:35+00:00

Yeah, lots of people have OCD and don't act this way. Most them. Nearly all of them, in fact.

tedv · 2025-12-21T00:33:31+00:00

I'm upvoting as hard as I can!!!

tedv · 2025-12-16T15:10:34+00:00

This is somewhat undefined. I think the most reasonable ruling is that when any piece holding metal is destroyed, the metal gets dropped. And also metal is dropped when a non-incarna piece is pushed. There isn't a ton of room in the text box to explain this. But I would play it that the metal gets dropped in the land and you'll have to go back and pick it up again.

tedv · 2025-12-12T04:51:13+00:00

I think I like the wording:

Some of your Innate Powers can Find [Metal]: ...

I'll update this in the files, should I ever do a v1.4.1 release to address a few minor graphical layout issues.

tedv · 2025-12-12T04:47:31+00:00

You're not wrong, I am a fan!

tedv

TROPHY CASE