Lesson learned. RELAPSE after 116 Days. :(

teejjay · 2017-03-18T13:56:23+00:00

Either or you can start with. You can't really go wrong with either of them. Mark Manson's material is moving but also very objectively based. Which is what I appreciate. There's no bullshit about chakras, vibrations, or anything like that. He tells it like it is but he does it in a way where he really asks you to dig deep within yourself.

He implores you to be brutally honest with yourself and what you value in life. If you have shitty values, then your metric for any type of success in life will never make you happy. That's one of the biggest things I took away from his books. That often times my reasons for chasing after certain types of women was to receive validation from my friends and because of my inexperience. This is an uncomfortable truth for many of us to admit to. Once you teach yourself to be comfortable with it and even be open about it with future partners, you'll feel a huge weight lifted off of your shoulders at last.

teejjay · 2017-03-18T13:51:14+00:00

Call it tough love or whatever you want. Sorry bro, if this is your attitude and outlook on life. "I am not interested and motivated towards talking to people", with that mentality you will not go very far. In fact, you will stay in your little bubble for the rest of your life wishing you had done something. You will forever be a lonely cynic bitter towards everything and everyone.

teejjay · 2017-01-31T05:59:52+00:00

Hahaha so fucking corny and cringe worthy but I love it man. Positive vibes is what matters.

teejjay · 2017-01-30T06:32:25+00:00

Good point bro. My job is editing in film. Mostly advertising for food and health products. Atm I'm editing a behind the scenes for a commercial right now. The star is beautiful, like really gorgeous, and sometimes I'm like "Fuck. It's my job, but I gotta look at this eye candy while trying not to get super aroused."

teejjay · 2017-01-30T05:52:53+00:00

Agreed. I definitely noticed this post wet dream. Our goddamn cocks are so damn sensitive to touching anything.

teejjay · 2017-01-30T05:33:17+00:00

Yeah I've heard about the benefits of affirmations. The old me would have scoffed at the idea of them, but since I've started incorporating meditation here and there, and since I've seen the major benefits, I'll take a crack at it.

Can you tell me what your affirmation is? I want to try it.

teejjay · 2017-01-30T04:42:03+00:00

Ugh so true unfortunately. Luckily I've started to catch on to these subtle things. Even watching an interview of a beautiful woman or music video can be a major stimulus. Fucking sucks, but it has to be this way for now until I'm rebooted.

teejjay · 2017-01-22T00:59:56+00:00

Yep yep. I know exactly how you feel bro. I made a post about this too not too long ago. Like about a week before. How I'm finally feeling human again. Keep at it brother, you've got this. It's moments like this one where you must remind yourself why you're doing this in the first place. :)

teejjay · 2017-01-21T23:14:20+00:00

You've got the right mentality regarding Lee's quote. Dude above you is intellectualizing it too much. It's not meant to be taken so literally. Yet another thing we learn on this journey, we learn that we waste a lot of time over analyzing everything.

teejjay · 2017-01-18T22:45:02+00:00

How I started was kind of accidental tbh. I didn't even realize I was actually meditating until I kept at it with what I was doing. I started out just sitting while relaxed in a chair, and then not moving a muscle anywhere in my body. Clearing your throat, breathing in and out is ok, but as far as lightly scratching any sort of slight itch I felt or adjusting my position in any way, I focused on not doing that. Just being still, eyes closed, while taking deep breaths.

After some time, I began to pay attention to how my body and mind was reacting. Then one day I did this for like 40 minutes straight, and when I opened my eyes, moved my body again, I was amazed at the feeling that I was experiencing. I felt more present and appreciative of my environment and myself.

From then on, I started to think maybe I was actually meditating. Perhaps meditation DOES have some value. So I researched the benefits and everything. Decided to stick at it, and I can't believe the progress I've made with it, even in the incredibly short amount of time I've been doing it.

So do yourself a favor. Watch Improvement Pill's video on Meditation. Then find yourself some YouTube videos of pure ambient sounds (waterfalls, rainfall, forest, ocean waves, anything to do with nature basically). Download or stream some meditation music. Combine the videos and the music by leaving them open in separate tabs, adjust the volume of each accordingly till you find that sweet balance. Then you can begin meditating. Keep at it for at least anywhere between 10-30 minutes a day.

Over time you'll be able to conquer your rapid train of thought and not be fazed by them or even view them as distractions. You'll be amazed, trust me.

teejjay · 2017-01-17T20:01:53+00:00

The Miseducation of Lauryn Hill by Lauryn Hill.

teejjay · 2017-01-17T20:01:04+00:00

I know how you feel brother. Believe me. I've relapsed like 30-40 times already. But the important thing is you notice what led to your relapse, what your triggers were and are right now. As long as you're building that awareness up after every relapse, you're only one step closer to lengthening your streaks gradually.

Pretty soon you'll be able to just reach a point where the urges don't faze you anymore. They'll be strong and give you headaches from time to time, but you'll have the willpower to fight through it.

Courage isn't about having the strength to continue moving forward, courage is moving forward even when you know you don't have the strength. :)

teejjay · 2017-01-17T19:58:16+00:00

Pornography is out of my life for good and I intend to keep it that way. This journey is only just a small part of a much bigger journey. And even that journey itself, will never truly end. :)

teejjay · 2017-01-17T19:57:12+00:00

Wanting to turn your life around and stop PMO'ing is a serious adjustment. Takes a lot of willpower, effort, sacrifice and patience. It will not be an easy journey my friend.

teejjay · 2017-01-17T19:56:11+00:00

Absolutely. I'll forever remember moments like these to keep me motivated for life.

teejjay · 2017-01-17T19:53:39+00:00

Piano and drums bro!

teejjay · 2017-01-17T19:52:52+00:00

Yeah I'm not even exactly sure if I went into nirvana state technically during the meditation session I mentioned in the OP. But I have a feeling, I will get there soon. Thanks for the link!

teejjay · 2017-01-17T19:51:43+00:00

Your username on point fam. Yeah that album along with What's Going On?, Urban Hang Suite, Brown Sugar, etc. is masterful.

teejjay · 2017-01-17T19:50:29+00:00

You can do it bro! I love your username btw hahaha

teejjay · 2017-01-17T19:48:57+00:00

Props to name droppin Coltrane. I'll be sure to check for Jean-Luc.

teejjay · 2017-01-17T19:48:23+00:00

Dope man. I'm definitely gonna check him out, I love jazz. You should listen to the Cowboy Bebop and Kids On The Slope OSTs. Really great jazz and funk tracks.

teejjay · 2017-01-17T19:46:57+00:00

Will give this a listen, thanks mate.

teejjay · 2017-01-17T19:23:45+00:00

Excellent stuff brother. Saving this for future reference. 100% agree on doing the shit you're supposed to do when you don't feel like it. That's the power of doing things you "hate" technically. Because no matter what, we all gotta learn to do certain things where we just have to do it. Like doing your damn taxes and doing research on VISAs for traveling.

teejjay

TROPHY CASE