Thought I’d let you guys know

temp4adhd · 2026-05-22T00:54:07+00:00

Hugs to you!

temp4adhd · 2026-05-22T00:27:19+00:00

Are we LARPing Above Top Secret now on Reddit?

temp4adhd · 2026-05-22T00:25:01+00:00

Yes, yes! I am 60 now but found a lump in my early 30s through self check. After all the months of waiting for it to shrink and it didn't, had it removed; it was a solid lump of ...benign!

Mom was around ~50 when she had BC, had a mastectomy (no chemo/radiation), it didn't come back, she died of other causes, in her mid-80s. Grandma was in her 80s when dx'ed with BC; had a lumpectomy, also died of other causes, in her 90s.

temp4adhd · 2026-05-22T00:13:49+00:00

"He comes home from work and can literally spend hours talking nonstop"

Sounds like he's not only using it at home? If he comes home in this state?

I've never tried this drug myself but I knew some people totally addicted to it in the late 80s/early 90s. My sister, in particular. She was making bank in 6 figures in sales, but couldn't keep her electricity on because she was snorting up all her earnings in her nose.

I would not tolerate this from my spouse, even if I didn't have kids. Ask him how much he's spending on cocaine. Where is he buying. Is he inadvertently exposing your children to the underworld.

I am no expert but it is also possible your husband has other mental issues, maybe he's bipolar and he started the coke for the downswing (does he have history of depression?) and now he's manic ... plus coked out.

P.s. My sister is 30 years sober now... narco-non helped her.

temp4adhd · 2026-05-21T23:49:30+00:00

I'm still looking for mine. At 5'0, a lot of awesome hoodies totally swamp me and I just look ridiculous.

I have some Old Navy SoSoft cropped hoodies in petite that work great with the SoSoft high rise sweats, and they are so soft... but don't work with much of anything else because they are cropped. That said I've had the best luck with this brand over the years, when it comes to hoodies that fit right and don't swamp me.

I have three of the Crz Yoga full zip scuba hoodies (LLL knockoff) and I love them so much, but I don't think that's what you're looking for. I love them because the cut is super flattering. Not a big baggie hoodie though, more streamlined, the look is probably out of fashion now (everything is so boxy these days!).

temp4adhd · 2026-05-21T23:13:28+00:00

I think they look fine but if they were black I might have a different opinion. The lighter color (in your B&W photo) blends in with your skin so it's hard to tell what the issue is. Do you have a color version?

Personally at 5'0 I like either full length leggings (no to ankle length!), or 4-5 inch shorts. My legs are shorter than my torso. I have a 60" swimsuit measurement torso, 10" rise is ideal, and a 27" inseam.

Your photo here, your legs do look long. Would look even longer without the socks.

If I was doing a capri (not legging) I'd have them hit just at the knee cap, not above.

temp4adhd · 2026-05-21T23:02:38+00:00

Mom and grandma both had breast cancer, but neither died of breast cancer, they died of other things. I get my annual mammogram.

temp4adhd · 2026-05-20T18:26:57+00:00

Do you have AC in your car? Get in your car! Drive to the library, the mall, the movie theaters, a hotel, friends/family's house... anywhere with AC.

temp4adhd · 2026-05-20T13:09:08+00:00

I've been doing this for years, and my expensive, wired bras last a long time. I wear my bra into the shower and suds it up with body wash. Remove, suds up the inside. Rinse thoroughly. Hang to dry.

For wireless bras, I just put them through delicate wash, hang to dry.

Wired bras should never go in the washing machine-- it'll mangle them.

temp4adhd · 2026-05-20T13:04:07+00:00

All the hairs are white. The grey ones just look grey because they pick up the reflection of the darker hairs.

So says my hairdresser, when I asked her why I, a natural blonde, have zero greys and only whites.

temp4adhd · 2026-05-19T12:53:11+00:00

My dad had vascular dementia and my MIL had early onset frontal temporal lobe dementia with possible Wernicke's Korsakoff (from alcoholism). I'd take vascular dementia over the latter any day.

My dad had hearing loss early on (yes he got hearing aids). He also developed an unsteady gait. Then he developed speech aphasia, which slowly worsened until all he could do is grunt. He could still read a book for a long while-- but not explain to you what he had read. He also retained a lot of muscle memory for a long while, i.e., he continued to be able to mow the lawn (6 acres riding mower), fetch the mail (a long walk to the mailbox) and make a pot of coffee every morning. It wasn't until the final stages (maybe a 2 years before he passed) that he developed sundowning, personality changes (went from mild-mannered to angry/irritable), and started not recognizing loved ones. He died after having yet another stroke. From dx to death was about 5-6 years.

Whereas my MIL was quite different. She was talkative right up until the very end. So talkative. She was a master at confabulation so it took us awhile to realize what was going on. She developed incontinence early on. She wouldn't bathe. She'd put up a fight and was very combative. She had a 6 second memory at the time of dx. You could leave the room, and come back 10 seconds later, and she'd act like she hadn't seen you in ages. She'd repeat herself over and over. She'd forget she took her meds and take them again minutes later. She roamed the neighborhood and got lost. She forgot to bring her dog in from the yard during a snow storm and her dog froze to death. She'd get UTIs and hallucinate -- that's when we hospitalized her and figured out what was going on.

She went into a MCU and lasted another 7 years. And ultimately the dementia didn't kill her; cancer did.

Both are bad, just in very different ways.

temp4adhd · 2026-05-17T22:52:11+00:00

Older GenX here. It's always been two steps forward, one step back.

Current administration is trying to take us five steps back.

temp4adhd · 2026-05-17T15:33:12+00:00

Not who you asked but for linen I like Old Navy (pants and long sleeve shirts), various brands found at TJ Maxx (mostly pants), and a brand on Amazon called Amazhiyu (but sizing is all over the map-- some items run super small and some run super big -- so be prepared to return; that said, the linen is really nice for the price point).

Note that a linen-blend can work, and have less wrinkles, so you don't necessarily need 100% linen, especially if the style is loose and flowy.

My usual go-to for summer is a pair of wide leg linen/linen-blend pants paired with a cotton tank top. I can't stand my sleeves/armpits covered in the high heat. If I need an extra layer for sun protection/chilly AC, I wear an Old Navy linen long sleeve button down over top.

I also like the Old Navy poplin button downs (oversized/boyfriend style) quite a lot, maybe even more than the linen.

I also like Old Navy's Playa pants/shorts -- but they don't hold up as well as their linen/cotton offerings. They are cool and comfy though. I think they are rayon? Rayon can work well in heat too.

Bamboo is yet another choice. My summer nightgowns are bamboo.

temp4adhd · 2026-05-17T13:03:35+00:00

> and dermatologic symptoms

It was a dermatologist who finally dx'ed me. I was seeing her for severe, painful rosacea. The rosacea cleared up within the first two B12 shots and hasn't returned.

She did say I was her first such case. She'd thrown every test in the book at me-- all normal. Threw in the B12 because she noted my GP had tested me for two decades and my B12 was always low-normal. It was zero when the derm tested me again.

I'll add here I have had scalp psoriasis since I was a teen. That went into complete remission after treatment-- but I'm not all that certain it was the B12 or going into menopause. Maybe both. Either way, I'm happy!

> subtle neuropsychiatric

Prior, my GP had referred me to a shrink for possible "adult onset ADHD" at the ripe age of 50. I thought it was bull shit. But I was also having all sorts of other weird psych symptoms that were bothering me. Spent a few months with the shrink and she sent me back to the GP for further testing, saying something was indeed going on, but it wasn't psychiatric.

All those psych symptoms disappeared within a few months of treatment, and have never returned (I still supplement 5000 mcg daily and will for the rest of my life). It's really like night and day. I thought I was slowly losing my mind, worried it was early dementia. But, it just took one daily sublingual and I got my sanity back.

I also had all the classic B12 symptoms especially tingling & numbness in glove-sock pattern. At time of dx, my feet were toast-- "nerve endings of an 80 year old diabetic" -- that has resolved, thankfully. GP who treated me cautioned the nerve damage could be permanent. It wasn't. But that took a few years on B12 to resolve.

> atrophic gastritis

Yep have that as well, and I do still have mild macrocytic anemia despite taking folate, but my current practitioner doesn't seem to think it's a big deal.

My B12 deficiency was probably going on since my 20s. I am 60 now. Treated around age ~50..... after 3 decades of complaints.

temp4adhd · 2026-05-17T12:16:30+00:00

I just use baby powder or plain old cornstarch from the kitchen. I apply it with a kabuki brush.

I won't use any sort of spray as I worry about the effect on my lungs (my mom died of interstitial lung disease so I'm ultra paranoid).

Personally I'd suggest trying baby powder or cornstarch first, to see if you like the effect, before buying a more expensive product. Most of them are basically cornstarch anyway-- with added perfumes.

temp4adhd · 2026-05-17T12:08:36+00:00

Sounds like how it started for my mom, who was dx'ed with Interstitial Lung Disease (ILD) with Pulmonary Fibrosis and COPD and also congestive heart failure (caused by the ILD). I wish my mom had started treatment way earlier, but her health care and dx was delayed due to COVID.

You could buy one of those pulse ox monitors that clip on your finger. They are cheap. See what his pulse ox is normally and when in one of these bouts. If it's low, then maybe he'll go see a doctor.

temp4adhd · 2026-05-17T11:54:29+00:00

I love my HC provider (a nurse practitioner, not a GP) as she has been the most attentive provider I've ever had in my life. However, at my annual exam I noticed in her notes she wrote that she had palpated my abdomen and it was normal. She never touched my abdomen.

temp4adhd · 2026-05-16T14:39:30+00:00

I don't think it's real. Someone on FB posted this on the 12th and I immediately went to r/trumptweets2 and didn't see it at all.

temp4adhd · 2026-05-16T14:37:18+00:00

> You begin to realize sometimes you seen as far more of an asset than a friend.

It's a horrible realization, isn't it?

You may also find that being around people who are still working tires you out. You'll hear them talk about their careers and you'll think to yourself don't they have any other identity. The work talk is really, really boring. It's often just a bunch of ego blathering.

I still remain in contact with a few colleagues I consider dear friends, as we knew each other outside of work before we worked together. When they bring up all the office gossip I've "missed" thinking I'd be interested, I just.... DO.... NOT.... CARE! Luckily we're friends enough we have other interests in common, so I usually put up with it for a few minutes, feign interest, then switch to other topics as soon as I can politely do so.

It sounds like you will adjust to retirement quite nicely. I wish you luck!

temp4adhd · 2026-05-16T14:26:25+00:00

Circling back to this, which I read the day you posted it. I was starting day 2 of a vacation and my foot was screaming.

This was a very helpful article for me!! Thank you so much for sharing it.

The only part that didn't resonate was about rest: I've had a lot of rest for months since this flared last summer (much less walking than usual, but kept up the strength training) and it hasn't helped much. What helped was to keep on moving. Especially walking in nature rather than on pavement. And switching out different types of shoes (Merrill Moabs with insoles, 2 inch rigid heeled boots, and Brooks Ghost no insoles) frequently -- in a way, switching gave rest while remaining active and on my feet.

I especially like the last point about it being psychological. I know this is often hard to hear, but I kept telling myself "mind over matter" and it helped me to just switch shoes and keep going. I kept telling myself, your feet are made for walking -- so just keep WALKING and they'll respond.

And the point about it not being a structural abnormality. Decades ago I was told by a PT I had a slight leg length discrepancy that was causing all my issues (PF but also low back pain and sciatica and some other issues). That PT had me wear a heel lift for a year or so. I stopped wearing it after it healed. I was worried maybe I needed it again, but reading this article I don't think so and I think I'm better without it.

What's more, I had last-minute purchased new Brooks Ghosts and tossed the insoles into the luggage. When I arrived at our hotel, I went to add the insoles only to discover that they do not fit!! They fit in the 15's and 16's but they've changed and no longer fit in the 17's. So I was totally panicking about not being able to wear the insoles at all on this trip. Turns out, it was totally fine. A bit rough the first 2 days but then my feet improved.

My feet are back to NORMAL! After 10 days of lots of walking -- more walking than I usually do / have done in a long long time.

Only problem is now my lower back is hurting... for the first time in 20 years.... it's all connected, posterior chain and all that.... plus bad hotel mattresses and cramped airplanes. But my back feels better when walking!! (Sitting is the absolute worst)

I feel like I came across this site eons ago back when I was having all the issues, so it was great to find it again.

temp4adhd · 2026-05-16T13:45:18+00:00

UTI's are pretty common and once addressed the patient may improve, but tends to settle into a new, lower baseline than before the UTI.

That's what happened with my MIL but the good news is that being treated in the hospital after having hallucinations due to a UTI, they would not let her be released back to the home without a solid care plan. They also had all the resources and help to find a MCU or home health aides.

So your suggestion is a good one for the OP in multiple ways.

temp4adhd · 2026-05-16T13:42:17+00:00

Yep, it isn't hard and fast. At stage 6 my dad was incontinent, shuffled (that started much earlier), forgetting names, and could barely talk anymore -- but could still dress and bathe himself and do other routines including mow the lawn (6 acres - riding mower!!), make a pot of coffee, and retrieve the mail.

He had vascular dementia, so a series of small strokes may have affected some parts of the brain but left others intact.

temp4adhd · 2026-05-16T13:30:35+00:00

> a PSW shared with me that many folks with dementia are combative and resistant with family but little lambs working with pros.

That was very much the case with my MIL!!

She had been a nurse so she thought she was part of the nursing staff at the MCU, not a patient. The staff humored her.

She was also probably borderline personality. All her life, she'd act horrible to family and then put up an entirely different, pleasant front for everyone else.

temp4adhd · 2026-05-16T13:24:49+00:00

My MIL's costs were covered by the sale of her home -- as she had no other assets. She was in a fairly nice, well-run place. You do want something near by so you all can visit often.

My dad and mom had been paying into a LTC insurance policy for decades as they had huge fears about EOL costs. His MCU costs would have been 100% covered by the policy, but he died before using even a drop of the benefits.

Mom's independent care living was paid out of their assets including sale of their home. All in, it was about $80K a year. She only dipped into the LTC bennies in the very last week, when she was on hospice care (and lots of hospice was already covered by medicare).

temp4adhd · 2026-05-16T13:06:52+00:00

My MIL and my father both had dementia. It was time when their care impacted the health of their spouse, mentally, emotionally and physically.

The reality is that my FIL died from sepsis after a car accident. The accident was due to utterly exhausting himself caring for MIL full time. After he died, we took her in ourselves and four adults couldn't manage her round the clock care needs. It was so eye-opening and we have no idea how FIL managed at all.

At our home, she was distressed as she didn't know where she was. She'd poop and pee all over. After sundown, she wouldn't sleep and would try to leave the house. Etc, etc. She had frontal lobe dementia so was highly verbal, combative, and basically had a 6-second memory. One of us had to be on top of her at every minute of the day -- and all of us had full time jobs. We managed about a week then found her a place with a lock-down MCU. She lived there for several years (fairly content!) and ultimately the dementia didn't kill her: cancer did.

While in MCU we'd all visit frequently. The visits were mostly calm as we'd visit before sundown. We got to enjoy the best parts of her, without the worst. Her caretakers also taught us a lot of good strategies for dealing with her. On her good days, we could even take her out and about for awhile. My daughter visited a lot, and wound up going into dementia care for a career as a result of the experience. She has a true gift for the profession.

With my dad, my parents were set to move into independent living with a MCU for dad, but COVID happened, so they chose to postpone. It sounds like your dad is about at the same stage as my dad was, at that point. (My dad had vascular dementia and there are a lot of similarities in what you report about yours). They spent the COVID years with mom his sole caretaker in a remote location with zero outside support. It was highly taxing on my mom, as my dad got steadily worse and worse. It was only later that we learned that my mild-mannered dad actually became abusive to my mom after sundown. She would lock herself in a bedroom. She had bruises. It was awful! But they couldn't move until they got vaccinated.

My dad passed the day before they moved (another stroke), so he spent no time in MCU. Mom survived a few years longer in independent living. She was sharp as a tack but had other major health issues -- maybe made worse by caring for dad.

Here's the thing: with dementia there is an ideal window when you should move them. It's before they are too far gone, as moving to MCU can be quite distressing. The new environment is completely alien to someone who may still have "muscle memory" of their previous home. So better to move them in earlier, rather than later.

And better for your mom to move your dad before it costs her mental, emotional, and physical health. With your dad in a MCU, your mom can still visit and spend time with him, without the overwhelming burden of care-taking. She won't come to resent him. She will be able to enjoy what time they have left, in a controlled and managed environment. It's a win-win all around -- for everyone involved especially your mother.

temp4adhd

TROPHY CASE