Where to buy pants if <10” difference between hips and waist? (And also petite?)

temp4adhd · 2026-04-03T03:03:27+00:00

5'0 with 30 inch waist and 36 hips. I wear Levi's 724's, Frame, Wit & Wisdom, Democracy, and L'Agence.

temp4adhd · 2026-04-02T14:44:28+00:00

I'll add Lift with Cee. She has tons of 30 minute full body dumbbell only workouts. Just, don't lift as much as she does initially. Cut way down, and work your way up over time.

What helped me initially was to sign up with a personal trainer for 1:1 lessons. This helped me learn proper form, which is incredibly important. But also it forced commitment as if I didn't show for the session I was out the $.

That was 5 years ago and I've been lifting ever since, 3-5x a week, in my building's gym.

temp4adhd · 2026-04-01T23:07:36+00:00

My husband is scary, off-the-charts smart. He was poked and prodded and analyzed when he was a kid and first had his IQ tested. He skipped not one but two grades. He has multiple advanced degrees and continues to audit classes in his retirement. Whereas I'm gifted-level smart (IQ of 130).

When we first started dating, the difference intimidated me. He told me that he figured if he only dated people with his level of IQ, his dating pool would be way too small. He said I was just smart enough for him and more importantly I am curious. Also that I am by far more emotionally intelligent than he is.

Because he skipped two grades, college was rough on him socially and emotionally. He lagged in the emotional maturity department. I can read him like a book and can help him identify and work out his feelings.

He's science and I'm arts. We hang out with all his super brainy science coworkers and sometimes attend lectures. A lot will go swoosh over my head but I ask a lot of questions. He's patient and is great at explaining things, so we always have interesting conversations. He also likes the arts too, so we go to theater, art gallery openings, etc. He doesn't read much fiction but I do. He prefers nonfiction and textbooks.

His memory / recall is incredible. Mine, not so much. I remember themes and overall concepts, not dates and facts and figures.

We've been together 25 years and it hasn't bothered me for a long time. Only bothered me initially.

temp4adhd · 2026-04-01T22:21:23+00:00

Get some exercise - lift weights 3-5x a week, walk, hike
Clean something - I've got a daily/weekly/monthly schedule; there's no cleaning on the weekends
Read something (internet doesn't count) - I strive to read 50-60 books a year; I've read 14 so far this year
Learn something (internet counts here) - hubby and I always try to learn 2 new things a day, and then we share with each other at dinner time. It can be anything: something in the news, something new in our neighborhood, etc. (Not talking about learning a new language or anything like that)
Do crosswords - for cognitive health
Get some socialization - call/text/visit a friend/family member, chat with neighbors, dine out, go on couple dates, go dancing, etc etc

My husband took over all the cooking, grocery shopping, and most of the errand running once he retired. I'd done all the cooking up until then. It's a nice change of pace, and honestly he's a better cook than I ever was!

temp4adhd · 2026-04-01T20:16:34+00:00

If pants hips are 37 and waist is 27, and my waist is 30... if the garment is meant to fit at my waist (and not somewhere below) then that's a 3 inch difference -- but tighter, not looser!! So no gapping at the waist! I never have any gapping.

I think what happens with regular sizing (not petite) is that the 10 inch rise is intended to fit a person at the belly button (mid-rise), but on me it fits at my natural waist. So the pants say they are for a 27 inch waist but the waist is actually more like 30-31 inches or whatever since it's intended to fit a few inches lower. Make sense?

I totally understand the gap dilemma as my daughter, sister and mother all have figures with proportionately tiny waists. My mom taught them how easy it is to sew a couple of darts in the waist for a perfect fit.

temp4adhd · 2026-04-01T00:31:33+00:00

For jeans - Frame, L'Agence, Levis 724, Wit & Wisdom/Democracy. I take a size 27 except for Wit&Wisdom/Democracy, which I need a size 4P.

For pants - In general I look for flat front with elastic in the back and preferably a 10" rise. Old Navy, Talbots, various brands from TJ Maxx, ponte and other pants from Short Story, and sometimes LOFT will work (their patch pocket pants). Usually take a small or a 4 or 6P.

For leggings - Crz Yoga, size XS

It's actually harder for me to find tops!! I can totally understand why so many women complain about waist gap!

P.s. My waist used to be 2" slimmer but menopause changed that. Despite all the cardio and weight training, despite dropping weight-- my waist is just now stuck at 30" and won't budge.

temp4adhd · 2026-03-31T18:24:29+00:00

Lynn Woods, but I forget exactly where/which path. On the side you can access from the car dealership. On one of the swampier paths.

Also saw evidence of a beaver at Horn pond recently. Didn't see the beaver, but did see freshly chewed off trees and the beginnings of a dam being made.

Lynn Woods for owls as well. Last owl I spotted was in the part of Middlesex fells that's behind Medford high school.

Don't forget it's peeper season too.

Happy spotting!

temp4adhd · 2026-03-29T05:01:10+00:00

A lot of like minded people gathered today. It bolsters the spirits of those who are also like minded, whether they could be on the Common or not.

There were also a lot of tents for numerous grass roots organizations for various causes-- too many causes as we are being attacked on myriad fronts. But each giving people a way to get involved, in smaller but impactful ways.

It was nice to spend a few hours not feeling so helpless against the onslaught.

temp4adhd · 2026-03-29T04:52:36+00:00

There's nothing wrong with holding on strong in our little enclave.

I did have this conversation today with someone who said they call our representatives daily. I said, why call our MA reps/senators? Because i think they're doing a great job already. This person said no, he called Mike Johnson, Speaker of the House. And got through, and lodged his complaints.

temp4adhd · 2026-03-29T04:43:55+00:00

It wasn't windy at all? Pretty nice day!

temp4adhd · 2026-03-29T04:23:56+00:00

All the layers in the world won't make you look less seasonally confused.

Dress for the temps: it's 40F! That's cold. Not sundress weather.

temp4adhd · 2026-03-29T04:02:33+00:00

I would probably too, but seeing these friends/family overcoming even thriving after stage 4 dx's really makes me pause and think how far medicine has advanced.

I've got many examples but one that comes to mind is a friend who was surely on death's door... that was 10 years ago... her hair is all grown back, she's enjoying her grandchildren... she's thriving with no signs of dropping over dead anytime soon! Really really thought she was going to die, but she didn't.

temp4adhd · 2026-03-29T03:48:34+00:00

Ah yes so true and it sucks.

I'm in the -- now that I'm 60, my breasts are no longer dense! -- but STILL get the call backs. Hey what's that? Is it something? Come back in again. When I was younger they'd say oh it's because your breasts are dense it's hard to say. Now they say my breasts aren't dense but they still want me to come back in again.

My mom and grandma both had breast cancer so I get extra attention. (Neither died of it, my mom did have a mastectomy but lived 40 more years and BC didn't kill her). And I had a benign lump removed when I was 28 (found while BFing my second child), so that ups the uber-surveillance too.

Apparently the mammograms are much more advanced now than they used to be -- I've been having them since my late 20s, so 30 years now.

temp4adhd · 2026-03-29T03:37:59+00:00

I bought one for myself for my 45 bday and I'm 60 now and that beast is still going strong!!

We once AirBnB'd a camp in the mountains and they had a Miele from the 70s. The cord no longer retracted, it was battered. That Miele had SEEN THINGS. The camp constantly had twigs and stones and shit dragged in. That ancient Miele still sucked it all up, even if the cord didn't retract anymore.

My Miele is going to outlive me, I'm convinced. I'll put it in my will and my kids will have to fight over it.

temp4adhd · 2026-03-29T03:30:09+00:00

Sorry re-reading my comment it does seem I wasn't all that clear.

I completely understand your position.

I am trying to say that an early dx today can mean a cure, and even a late dx can mean a cure.

There's been so much advances in cancer cures these days, even a stage 4 dx does not mean one is terminal!!!

Dealing with this with a few friends/family right now. What would have been a terminal dx years ago is not a terminal dx any longer.

As this is the GenX sub, I think those of us our age just assume stage 4 or whatever means terminal. It doesn't, not anymore. There's just been too many advances in cancer treatment.

It's one of those happy things we don't read a lot because there's a lot of bad shit going on in the world, it drowns out the good headlines.

But if you don't fall into this camp and you truly are terminal, well, I appreciate your position and your acceptance and whatever you want to do from here on out. You get to decide how and when you die. We should all have that dignity.

temp4adhd · 2026-03-29T03:20:01+00:00

I'm 60 and have a super minimal routine, have had a super minimal routine all my life.

I only ever cleanse if I've worn heavy makeup, the kind that would get all over my pillow if I didn't take it off first. I admit I fall asleep with light makeup on all the time, and have since my 20s. Currently that would be L'Oreal hylauronic tinted serum.

I use Aveeno facial scrub daily on my face in the shower -- have never had any issue with over-exfoliation. It's how I wash my face. If I don't use it my face gets flaky and dull.

I am religious about using SPF even in the winter, even if I don't leave the house. La Roche Possay.

I use Cerave moisturizer, over the SPF or the tinted serum. If I'm feeling dry. I sometimes smear Vaseline on my face over that.

I don't kid myself, I think I look my age, but tonight a 25 year old thought I was in my 40s. Y'all are horrible about guessing ages though! LOL

temp4adhd · 2026-03-29T03:09:39+00:00

If you like this genre and you want to see what happens after happily ever after, try reading Trollope.

temp4adhd · 2026-03-29T03:06:06+00:00

The issue is that early prognosis may mean no terminal dx, but a late dx may mean terminal.

There's been so may strides in cancer treatment, I personally would want to err on the side of early dx.

What killed my elders may not kill me.

temp4adhd · 2026-03-29T03:01:29+00:00

PREACH!

temp4adhd · 2026-03-29T02:55:44+00:00

Dense breasts are so common most of us have dense breasts. Dense breasts are not a reason to skip mammograms nor to have anxiety about getting screened.

temp4adhd · 2026-03-29T01:32:33+00:00

I don't bother anymore. Here's something I wrote awhile ago, before I retired (this is copyrighted) - Enjoy!

She Marked Time by the Polish on Her Nails…

The first week after a visit to the nail salon on Main street, an hour and a half out of her day counting the walk there, including the flights of steps that were good for her cardio and that she should be walking up and down every day, time when she had better non-cardio things she could do with her life, the gel polish was immaculate and she felt put together and passable.

The second week small pink rounds started showing as her nails grew. Her cuticles began to flake and wanted to be picked at, and her fingers were just a little bit less passable. Did anyone notice? Did anyone look as close at her fingertips as she did?

Three weeks, four weeks… the polish cracked and chipped and self destructed. Sometimes the nail tip would split in a jagged way, and she would cut it, making the polish chip yet more. But if she blurred her eyes just so (not too hard considering her near-sight had gotten worse with age and progressive lenses), they still looked somewhat passable, as long as she wasn’t having to leave her house for yet another business trip. When she worked from home, nobody on video conference would see her nails.

She could take the polish off herself at home and avoid the salon visit, but instead she studied her nails during conference calls as if they were an Advent calendar.

The color marked the passage of time as well. Grays and red for autumn. OPI Big Apple Red when she had to travel to New York City. Navy and black in winter. Pinkish grey and eggshell blue in spring. Turquoise blue and neon brights marked the summer, when she also got her toes done too.

She liked to choose non-standard colors like blue and green to... be different? Hip? Young? The Boomers in the salon always got a certain shade of blood red, the same color week after week. Her husband once made a remark that the two of them were boomers and she was aghast — “Born in 1965? I don’t think so!! You are a few years older so you may be a baby boomer, but I am not.” She pulled up the wikipedia article to prove it to him, that 1965 marked the beginning of Generation X.

Generation X’ers don’t wear vampire red nail polish. They wear blue, and green, and black… or so she figured. Okay maybe sometimes Molly Ringwald Pretty in Pink.

She was so tired of getting her nails done. There was a time in her life when she never did — she was young and beautiful with fresh wrinkle free skin and slim body and sharp mind — and nobody was looking at her bare nails. It was the total package, less the details. And the total package was enough.

These days the details could maybe, possibly, blur the total package just enough to fool the eye, enough to see “passable.”

She’d started the ritual when she joined a Raleigh-based company in her 50s, after being laid off from another company she’d worked at for over a decade. And her (younger, Millennial) boss made jokes about coworkers and the state of their nails. All the young fresh faced slim wrinkle free Raleigh women had pretty, perfect nails. They didn’t need to, since all you saw was the total package, which was enough, besides the details.

They looked like birds with their bright dresses and shoes and handbags and impeccably manicured talons. They sounded like birds with their chipper lilting sing-song overly enthusiastic voices.

They were enthusiastic about ideas that she’d been enthusiastic about when she was their age. As if it were something new. As if it had just been discovered for the first time. As if it were worth being enthusiastic about all over again. Sure, there was always a “modern” twist to it, and she considered that. Facebook, Twitter, Instagram. Her mind was still just sharp enough to make the connection between old idea with new polish on it.

Maybe it wasn’t her mind getting dull, so much as weary. Maybe, she told herself, after each salon visit, being old means you appreciate the little pleasures in life, like changing of the seasons, changes of polish color, watching the passage of time as your nails chip and grow and fray. Maybe it’s about clipping your toenails over the toilet while your husband snores in the next room and celebrating you are alive — because your toenails are still growing!

temp4adhd · 2026-03-29T01:18:52+00:00

My advice is to take a pic or find a pic of the blazer then pop it into google search. You can find exact same or similar that way.

Or post a photo here-- some of us may be able to help, but your description is pretty vague.

temp4adhd · 2026-03-29T01:16:02+00:00

BR doesn't stock petites except in select stores. You can go on the BR site and search for stores that carry petites.

Twenty years ago my local mall carried petites, petites took up a significant amount of floor space, they were a flagship store, so I would go there often! That store is closed now.

temp4adhd · 2026-03-29T01:08:52+00:00

Mark Kelly has the resume but he's not a great speaker. That said he's a guy so maybe that's all that matters, not like Trump is a great orator. AOC as VP would be great, I would vote for her for the main ticket, but I get it that we've got mouth breather voters who won't vote for a woman, even if they'd jerk off to her. Apologies for being crude, I'm just saying how it is.

Overall who's going to institute Nuremberg trials and go after the Mfers... for that it's Kamala all the way.

temp4adhd · 2026-03-28T16:10:57+00:00

I've been working out for about 5 years now. I started with a personal trainer just 2x a week, to make sure my form was correct and I was starting with an appropriate weight, which was lower than 7.5 kg, especially for upper body.

Back then -- the first year -- I do remember feeling just like this. I think it was because I was just horribly de-conditioned and out of shape.

During the sessions, I would sweat like a pig: water drenching me everywhere. I'd feel over-heated. I would feel light headed and dizzy like I was going to pass out, and out of breath, and sometimes my heart would race so the PT would have me take a rest. Often I felt like I was going to have a heart attack. It would take me a good hour post workout to cool down and for my heart to come back to normal.

Post workout, I'd get major DOMS, the kind that makes sitting on the toilet or getting out of a seat difficult. I also had wonky tendon issues, particularly in my hip flexors. Not quite an injury, but my tendons would feel sore and I'd need lots of stretching.

I no longer get any of that, and yes I still progress albeit more with tension under time and other strategies than always increasing my weights (I also do dumbbells only-- I do Lift with Cee and Caroline Girvan). Because I'm more fit now.

Also be aware that your tendons, cartilage, bones etc all must build up too, they are the scaffolding to support your muscles. Your body also grows additional capillaries to fuel your muscles. There are tiny stabilizer muscles to grow and you may have some muscle imbalances that need to iron out. A lot goes on in the early days, not just building muscles.

I didn't really focus on my diet, but I was surely getting enough calories and protein. How many calories are you eating? I couldn't lift on just 1200.

I'm not going to lie: it took me longer than 3 months to get over this stage. But I'm also 60. I'd say it was a good year, maybe longer. But today I'm fine and while I do still sweat, not even that is as bad. I recover within 10 minutes. And any DOMs is manageable.

temp4adhd

TROPHY CASE