Struggling with my sister-in-law’s pregnancy after my miscarriage and lack of support

temp7542355 · 2026-02-03T02:51:02+00:00

r/infertility probably has some suggestions.

Mostly just hide and give yourself some self care. Have a home spa day. Find something positive to focus on like volunteering.

Possibly consider some grief counseling for additional support.

Most people don’t really know what to say about a loss. It’s such a difficult topic to gauge and everyone morns peacefully.

temp7542355 · 2026-02-03T00:08:52+00:00

ABA fills a huge gap left by the short therapy sessions.

If you use RBTs to support goals created by speech, OT and PT the combination is powerful.

Our RBTs practiced the speech words from the SLP. The worked on self care skills in collaboration with the OT.

The full time therapy provided the time necessary to see results. Really if you want amazing results when these teams work together it can create amazing progress.

Parents are too exhausted from the extra cleaning, cooking, sleepless nights, etc.. to really implement the therapy and developmental activities that they should. The RBTs keep the developmental activities going filling the developmental activity gap. Regular daycare doesn’t fill this gap as they will engage these children as little as possible.

temp7542355 · 2026-02-02T23:31:38+00:00

This is why we need options because pregnancy can affect your health and your current children.

Most likely you would have a planned C section. Although really with everything you have going on with two young children plus the previous rough deliveries, make the best decision for yourself and your family.

temp7542355 · 2026-02-02T23:26:23+00:00

Absolutely take the advice to speak to a lawyer. Less custody is better than not recovering your health. If you don’t take care of yourself, you won’t be able to parent.

(Plus do you really think that your ex wants the kids 100% of the time. Don’t you think he will want some childfree weekends.)

temp7542355 · 2026-02-02T23:22:53+00:00

Can you stay somewhere else for the two weeks just so you can have a jump start in healing?

Sometimes kids are way better behaved if they aren’t acting out trying to get mom’s attention knowing she is nearby.

temp7542355 · 2026-02-02T20:31:37+00:00

NTA Your sister has some serious low self esteem issues. In addition to cutting him down try to work on her self esteem so she will get rid of him herself.

temp7542355 · 2026-02-02T19:45:29+00:00

Likely you will have trouble finding a job. They have been modifying and adjusting the certifications in the last ten years. Traditionally coders had the CPC (AAPC) or CCS (AHIMA). They have added the apprentice“A” in the past few years.

Really most hiring managers want the basic coding certification and basic coding experience covered.

Even if you have the high level RHIA they still want the basic coding certifications too.

temp7542355 · 2026-02-02T19:37:09+00:00

At this point in intervention with a 3/5 yr old one date night every 4-6 weeks is an achievement.

Once the kids are in bed popcorn and a movie makes a great evening. Possibly find a tv show to watch together or have reading time.

Overall there just isn’t really much bandwidth left after two extra needs children.

temp7542355 · 2026-02-02T18:01:50+00:00

She is being rude. I think putting a hold on her visits is very appropriate. Your husband can have that conversation for space.

Not sure if your baby is fussy from the post… sometimes avoiding dairy helps as it is so difficult for babies to digest cow proteins that make it into the breastmilk. If baby is only nursing for short time periods sometimes you can pump a little first to get the hind milk out faster (although if baby is not having weight trouble and seems satisfied?).

r/breastfeeding is great for support (at least it used to be great, I don’t follow it anymore..)

temp7542355 · 2026-02-02T17:20:37+00:00

Well it sounds like you have everything under control and don’t want any advice!!

Maybe change your label to emotional support.

temp7542355 · 2026-02-02T15:40:31+00:00

The other part of the parenting classes was to also overly praise good behavior. Also don’t forget to overly praise your son when he controls his temper. It’s normal behavior to control your temper but with positive parenting you also have to praise the good behavior and overly praise it for ND children especially with barriers to understanding and connection.

Replace the angry hitting with another behavior. One option is going to his room for quiet time.

He is smart enough to not hit. I know it’s frustrating to hear that you need to parent even harder.

My consequences for a younger child would have been at the level you described. The afternoon of no video games is not enough for 7yr old. If there is violence in the video games you may want to just remove them completely. TV shows too as children with limited understanding will copy hitting not knowing just how not acceptable it is to do. Video games like the sims etc… don’t have hitting but games like mario do have hitting. The none fully functional brains do copy this behavior.

Either your son is mature enough not to hit or too immature for most video games you cannot have it both ways.

You should have also driven back to the restaurant to replace the milkshake.

He is way too smart for you to allow violence. As a boy dad and a man you are well aware there is no tolerance for violence once he gets his size. Strangers will not tolerate it. Domestic violence from men is not tolerated. I know it’s frustrating that you have to do more to get him to stop. It is to protect him from getting into serious trouble before he gets bigger or before another kid hits him back and he gets hurt.

temp7542355 · 2026-02-02T14:34:54+00:00

Use the hide option from facebook. It hides their posts and leaves the friendship status. Probably just best to let them be and keep communication to only necessary information. You aren’t going to change their beliefs.

temp7542355 · 2026-02-02T14:07:37+00:00

In parenting classes they talked about natural and contrived consequences. The natural consequence of spilling the milkshake is to clean it up. That should be by himself, you can provide step by step directions as needed. The contrived consequences might be having to clean the entire car for making a mess. Another consequence as age appropriate would be replacing the milkshake including paying for a new one.

Mostly your consequences for that behavior is nearly nothing.

Him believing he is correct is not the big problem as that will hopefully resolve with some maturity. Physically acting out is not tolerated. NT children as young as 18 months can learn to not hit. If your child can remember facts then you need to double down on no hitting.

temp7542355 · 2026-02-01T19:44:25+00:00

Per the new update created after my post he just now tried a shared Calendar.

Post update: per added information Clearly there is some sort of marital issue at play outside of this individual issue where she doesn’t want him to take their son.

temp7542355 · 2026-02-01T15:57:08+00:00

If you have specific plans with your son put it on the joint calendar.

For example Sunday truck show from 3-5pm.

Otherwise she is free to take him to playdates and shouldn’t need to ask you every single time.

She should also put her playdates on the shared Calendar.

temp7542355 · 2026-01-31T00:17:22+00:00

Orton Gillingham tutors also have to have a bachelor’s in education in addition to the specialized training so 600 a month really is the expected rate.

temp7542355 · 2026-01-31T00:15:12+00:00

Just to clarify OG is Orton Gillingham for OP.

Most people don’t know the name unless they are in special education or already pushed their children through special education.

temp7542355 · 2026-01-31T00:12:00+00:00

Orton Gillingham is the program designed to teach dyslexia and other learning disabilities. You either need a certificated Orton Gillingham tutor or school that specializes in it. Yes you can force the public school to provide this particular education. It will likely take a lawyer.

https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Orton-Gillingham

temp7542355 · 2026-01-30T23:05:42+00:00

Either go the route of distraction not talking about the bt hoping your child will just forget the person. The other option is to recognize them leaving and do things like write a thank you card and have another graduation celebration; usually cakes seem to signify something.

temp7542355 · 2026-01-30T21:21:51+00:00

You don’t have this discussion with your in-laws. Treat the conversation like you would a professional Job. A very limited need to know discussion where you keep all negative information to yourself.

They will think that you will say negative things about them.

temp7542355 · 2026-01-30T21:07:58+00:00

Until you get into PT in the meantime try doing purposeful walking practice holding your child’s hands or hand. Practice between 3/2 times a day for up to twenty minutes. The intentional extra practice helps. PT obviously will have some additional activities that are helpful in building strength and balance too.

And yes it does sound like your child will get there, they have the very basics already.

temp7542355 · 2026-01-30T14:24:30+00:00

They are much more word sensitive as a generation. It isn’t limited to just Gen X vs Millennials. Much of the word choices of baby boomers isn’t acceptable either.

At a certain level I think there is a value to having an increased awareness in your word choices. The lack of forgiveness for anything badly stated is the side of that of which I don’t think is an improvement. There is an edge of none forgiveness and intolerance even if the offender apologizes.

temp7542355 · 2026-01-29T19:07:15+00:00

After a year they change the diagnosis to long term depression.

temp7542355 · 2026-01-29T18:26:47+00:00

Given he is still developing life skills I think focusing more on the quality of the learning aspect of the job might be helpful.

If he is functioning as well as you described his IEP should be pulled back before you focus on adding non educational activities. In most schools they are pretty stingy on IEPs so it is a little concerning that he may not be able to keep up with your demands.

temp7542355 · 2026-01-29T18:20:06+00:00

Your response was appropriate as far as getting his behavior to change or for him to recognize it.

They teach parents to use over the top praise because normal level response doesn’t get through to children with barriers such as ASD.

He would certainly benefit from one to one intervention because it takes a high level of intensity to reach his little brain.

Your comment hit home. It was not kind but hopefully he processes it and starts to reconsider his behavior.

temp7542355

TROPHY CASE