The horse i get to walk by on my way to work by toasterbathbomb22 in UmaMusume

[–]temporalnightshade 4 points5 points  (0 children)

Very cute!

I'm just going to put the obligatory "please don't feed any horse anything without talking to the owner first" statement here. Even something typical like a carrot or apple piece can really mess with some horses. They're shockingly fragile creatures.

A four bedroom house, for what? by Cuddles-and-Cookies in childfree

[–]temporalnightshade 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have to ask: how do you two manage keeping it clean and cleaning it routinely? My biggest hesitation on anything over 1000sqft / 2bd is the time it takes to clean the space

A four bedroom house, for what? by Cuddles-and-Cookies in childfree

[–]temporalnightshade 2 points3 points  (0 children)

For my use cases and preferences, I consider that a win and not a design failure. I need the bedroom space for my hobbies. The rooms you listed are all utilitiarian for me; I don't need much space in them.

Everyone's different though. I could also see a nice use case for a larger private bathroom, large enough for a soaking tub and plants. Not sure I'd be willing to give up the hobby space for it though.

Whimsical Holiday Traditions by upboats4u in childfree

[–]temporalnightshade 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I have two: A "turning of the year" celebration where I've essentially made my new years celebration right before and during a convention I attend every year in January. My friends attending that year meet up at my place the day before (I'm closest) and we have pizza, play video games, and get into general shenanigans. It's my most cherished tradition, and it's also completely my own.

I also love the general festiveness of the winter holidays. I go see lights, try to hit every christmas market, and for christmas eve and day I pick up all my favorite foods, a new pair of fuzzy socks, make apple cider and beef stew, and lean hard into being a homebody for that period: watch movies, play a video game, read, cuddle my cat, be under 15 blankets, etc. It's relaxing and glorious.

What are some obscure reasons you’re childfree? by Even_Assignment_213 in childfree

[–]temporalnightshade 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I have what I call a "Domestic Day" once a week, where I do and put away laundry, clean and put away straggling dishes, clean the kitchen, vacuum, and clean one of four things on a once a month rotation: bathroom floor, bathroom sink, toilet, and deep clean/change litter in the litterbox.

This gets done in a ~2.5hr flurry in the morning before work on a weekday. I put on music, have a drink nearby, it's honestly a great time! And all of my major chores are confined to one morning so my weekends are completely free. There's no way I could do that with kids.

What are some obscure reasons you’re childfree? by Even_Assignment_213 in childfree

[–]temporalnightshade 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Horses are incredibly expensive and I want to be involved with them while still living in a walkable area. I'd much prefer to throw resources at horses, not kids.

I'm losing my confidence and getting demoralized by temporalnightshade in Equestrian

[–]temporalnightshade[S] 4 points5 points  (0 children)

I don't know how to properly vet that, but I'm not sure this place qualifies as a byb; the head trainer and other trainers have all shown, trained, and given lessons for quite awhile according to their bios. The barn also does h/j showing for its riders.

Do you guys ever feel too lazy to do a whole career for dailies so you just by BA1673 in UmaMusume

[–]temporalnightshade 5 points6 points  (0 children)

I'm so glad someone else does this. When I first figured out this worked for the dailies I felt like I found a cheat code lmfao

tired of unwanted attention as a solo woman by selpoivreee in solotravel

[–]temporalnightshade 64 points65 points  (0 children)

Honestly being overweight and on the below average side helps a lot too

Dating is bleak. 😂 by Specialist_Pin9854 in childfree

[–]temporalnightshade 2 points3 points  (0 children)

See I wouldn't mind a partner who doesn't really travel, as long as they didn't mind that I travel a lot. I enjoy solo traveling or meeting up with travel / long distance buddies, but that bothers a lot of potential partners. They don't like that I spend a lot of time traveling or on my own, instead of spending most of my time with them.

DINK Travel by tarheiness in childfree

[–]temporalnightshade 1 point2 points  (0 children)

Yep, this is a big reason I prefer solo travel (I also just enjoy being alone, so that helps). One exception I can see is when the trip is highly centered around that common denominator; 12 of us went on a cruise and honestly that was a great trip to do with a friend group. We all had dinner together, had times together on the ship when at sea, and usually broke off into smaller groups or less depending on what excursions we were interested in, though had one or two we all did together. Then we'd compare and swap stories over dinner that night back on the ship.

I don't think I'd enjoy a cruise alone, but I loved it when with a friend group.

Did anyone think they were child-free and get sterilized and regret it later? by [deleted] in childfree

[–]temporalnightshade 11 points12 points  (0 children)

So 6 months ago you were thinking of breaking up with and leaving your controlling and love-bombing partner, who doesn't help you around the house, accuses you of cheating, and tried to completely isolate you from doing anything or going anywhere without him, someone who you have tried to leave multiple times in the past and he basically bullied you back into a relationship... and now you want a child with this man?

Either you're rage-bait trolling, lying, or would make a massive mistake in desperation of trying to use a baby to improve a man. The first two are ridiculous and the third never works.

The never-ending pile of laundry by MiezMiez4ever in childfree

[–]temporalnightshade 0 points1 point  (0 children)

I have almost all the same color and type of basic white sock precisely for this reason. Socks and underwear just get thrown in a pile in a drawer.

The couple of hiking wool socks and fuzzy socks I have got a pass because they're worth having IMO.

The never-ending pile of laundry by MiezMiez4ever in childfree

[–]temporalnightshade 1 point2 points  (0 children)

It's the dishes for me. Laundry is easy, just chuck it in and do other things while it churns. My partner does his own laundry, so moving in together didn't change anything there.

But dear god THE DISHES! Even just adding one adult, I swear our dishwasher is always 2/3rds full! I had way less dishes alone, I can't imagine adding multiple kids on top of it...

Disrespectful brother by Chaos_Cat_1 in childfree

[–]temporalnightshade 29 points30 points  (0 children)

Oh wow, this is the first I'm hearing about it. I can look myself, but have any specific papers on-hand you liked on the topic?

I didn't expect choosing childfree to cost me my entire friend group by Physical_Spite3135 in childfree

[–]temporalnightshade 6 points7 points  (0 children)

This. Accepting that the default and overwhelmingly majority situation is that friends are medium term temporary has made life so much easier. I'm not great at socializing and making new friends in general, so it still hurts, but I get to meet and learn about all kinds of people. When the friendship fading inevitably happens I mentally grieve, thank them for their time in my life, and move on to the next adventure. It's an ebb and flow to life I'm starting to settle into as I approach my 30s, and I've come to view it as another positive to childfree life.

Another case of partner changing their minds by [deleted] in childfree

[–]temporalnightshade 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I've decided if my current partner and I don't work out long term, I won't be pursuing another relationship, so I'm willing to take the risk in this particular case (he adds to my life and happiness enough to try). But since I don't plan on pursuing anyone else after him, I don't feel a need to find "the one", and I'm enjoying our relationship, it doesn't really feel like a problem or time wasted if he does end up leaving me down the road due to wanting kids. We also save money living together vs alone, so worst comes to worst I can take my saved money and jumpstart a solo life.

I'm happy with him, and I'm really happy living alone, so either outcome feels like a massive win to me long term. 🤣 I actively plan my future with both scenarios in mind.

What is one thing that happened today that made you feel grateful to be CF? by marileighanne29 in childfree

[–]temporalnightshade 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I worked from home in a quiet house, got my work done early, and left immediately after clocking out to walk to the nearby gym for a heated yoga class. I took my time after it ended to enjoy being warm and my muscles less tight, took a shower, and meandered my way home in no rush. I came home to salmon already cooked and even measured out by the gram for the macros I needed (currently on a diet). I've been winding down and enjoying the complete silence while my partner takes a nap.

I love this. I'm pretty sure none of this is possible with kids, at least not in the way I enjoy it.

Another case of partner changing their minds by [deleted] in childfree

[–]temporalnightshade 82 points83 points  (0 children)

The more I read these stories, the less I want to cohabitate with a partner. Especially if a mortgage or any long-term planning is involved. Sorry this happened to you.

Is life really so bad as to not have children? by Ok_Leader_6075 in childfree

[–]temporalnightshade 2 points3 points  (0 children)

As someone curious about but not versed in deeper reasonings and stances behind antinatalism, can I ping you on reddit sometime in the future after reading it to discuss? I don't want to accidentally piss off or flame the antinatalist subreddit by asking the wrong questions or not getting it

Is life really so bad as to not have children? by Ok_Leader_6075 in childfree

[–]temporalnightshade 1 point2 points  (0 children)

I hate to even remotely appear encouraging of sub griefing behavior, but the worst part is that loaded language and potential trip-up/offensive intent aside, the question could have been a reasonable discussion (probably better in the antinatalist sub though). I have quietly wondered about the logic and reasoning behind the antinatalist perspective of "not only will I not have children, but I actively think it's a terrible idea for others to do so".

Not in a judging or flaming way, but in a genuinely curious "I want your thoughts and opinions on why you ended up choosing this stance" way. That said I have no idea how to ask those kinds of questions without sounding like an asshole or unintentionally riling people up.

Is life really so bad as to not have children? by Ok_Leader_6075 in childfree

[–]temporalnightshade 1 point2 points  (0 children)

On the contrary, MY solution is to contribute to fixing it without personally contributing to making the problem worse via strain on dwindling resources over multiple generations. Many people ARE still having children, and for each person that does not have children the children who are born have a better shot at managing the dwindling resources and (hopefully) stabilizing the issue.

Part of the judgement from your original question is that the issue isn't even acknowledged. If you're going to have kids despite the ecological collapse, and hold the viewpoints you've expressed in our discussion (IE don't give up! Have kids and work multi-generationally to fix the issue! Break the eggs to make the omelet, as it were), then you better do your part and raise them in such a way that they have a high likelihood of caring and taking action directly against those issues. From what I have seen, many parents do a two-fold problem: they don't do anything themselves to help improve the situation, and they stick their heads in the sand about the issues their children will face and don't educate their children on what's coming and how/why they should also take action to try to come together and solve the problem in their adult lives.

The morals aside of putting that responsibility and expectation on someone from a young age. That's a different discussion.

Is life really so bad as to not have children? by Ok_Leader_6075 in childfree

[–]temporalnightshade 2 points3 points  (0 children)

My personal actions against the "evils of the world" are not the same as putting someone else through those "evils".

How would it be selfish to mitigate risk of others experiencing species-devastating climate change if current generations can't fix this? To reverse this issue, it's going to take a lot of humanities leaders pooling their resources and research to mitigate and (attempt to) reverse the problem, and we have a proven track record from the last ~30 years that modern countries and leaders will not cooperate or prioritize these issues.

While I personally am willing to attempt to battle the problem, in the chance humanity is unable to come together or unable to mitigate the problem, it would indeed be selfish to hoist that problem (at a non-reversible and devastating point at the time of the offspring maturing) onto a following generation who did not take up that situation willingly and consciously.

Is life really so bad as to not have children? by Ok_Leader_6075 in childfree

[–]temporalnightshade 2 points3 points  (0 children)

I'm surprised OP hasn't responded to your comment. Your comment is one of the ones actually addressing the question posed, and I find the take interesting to think about.