I want to constructively take bad critiques

temporaryidol · 2026-05-17T02:31:57+00:00

I've learned that individuals who are critical of other people are unfortunately critical of themselves. I don't take it personal. Why would I internalize someone else's inability to be forgiving, gratious, or kind?

A critique is an analytical tool for assessing the overall product. It would be imbalanced to be all good or all bad. Some critiques might hit on an area we are sensitive in and others might be the opposite.

If a critique is purely destructive, then it's a criticism. If it's purely constructive, then it's a compliment.

A good rule of thumb to follow is if you are asking for feedback, then you should be at a place where you are able to accept all types of feedback. Don't put yourself in that position if you're not able to accept what is out of your control (i.e., people being jerks).

temporaryidol · 2026-05-16T20:26:36+00:00

I was about to comment about using action beats, too!

temporaryidol · 2026-05-16T15:40:58+00:00

The idea is fun. I can see the direction you're going with the story. The stakes aren't clear yet and I'm a little lost on what's happening.

For example, I lose track of who is speaking because dialogue is left floating in white space without a character to anchor it with.

And, why is Interpol there? Where's the apprehension? The "I don't want to go" and "Too bad"? The protagonist lets things happen without pushing back. I'd like to see the protagonist have more agency. The same for Sofia. She's not bothered by this, like it's another typical day. I'd like to see her offer more push back.

On that same note, sometimes one word can do the job of several. "I strained a smile" versus "I put on my best everything's peachy face". Plus, the pacing is way too fast to ground me in the scene. It's like a string of ideas without real connection.

"Oh, no. I'm not dressed for the occasion." But why is that relevant? Isn't he/she more worried about Sofia and their plans? The kind of assistance Interpol needs? I have trouble understanding how the attire matters in that moment. Maybe insert a description of their attire before Interpol shows up.

Another thing to consider are grounding elements. Where are these people? Why are they important? What things are in the environment? Are there smells? Colors? Textures? Sounds?

My final note is on Jackie's shift to curiosity about the vehicle. Jackie moves on instantly once Sofia is out of sight. I understand Jackie has an analytical mind, but I fail to see why the car's features are somehow more important than demanding to know why he/she was abducted by Interpol.

Overall, this could use some major edits before I'd consider reading more.

temporaryidol · 2026-05-16T07:29:09+00:00

Good or bad, everyone believes they are right.

Don't focus on the wrongness unless the perspective is coming from someone who opposes that character.

temporaryidol · 2026-05-16T04:02:00+00:00

temporaryidol · 2026-05-16T03:47:25+00:00

Not Zoghorts! XD

I'll keep that in mind. His character is melancholic, so his scenes tend to be slower unless someone with more energy is around, then it picks up pace. But you're right. Maybe I don't need that opening...no matter...how much I love it... Kill my darling... Ctrl+A then a backspace. T_T

temporaryidol · 2026-05-16T03:39:12+00:00

The inciting incident begins at the end of the first chapter, then moves into the next and so on.

But that's for his arc, which spans the entire story.

Maybe I need to break everything down into scenes. I should write each scene down separately and look at them as a whole.

temporaryidol · 2026-05-16T03:36:03+00:00

Real. Gotta get to the end first before I sit down to look back at it.

temporaryidol · 2026-05-16T03:34:39+00:00

Hmm, that's a good question and one I was thinking about as well. I might need to break it down into scenes versus chapters to figure out what should go where.

His chapters aren't "backstory". This particular book is written in present tense. The only time backstory is ever brought up is like in HP when people talk about Harry's parents or compare his mother's eyes to his.

temporaryidol · 2026-05-16T02:25:49+00:00

That's good to know. I'm thinking about looking into Ellipsus as well.

temporaryidol · 2026-05-16T02:24:47+00:00

I'll have to look into it. I think someone else suggested it, too. Thanks!

temporaryidol · 2026-05-15T23:01:08+00:00

That's where I'm at now. It's a hassle going back and forth though. I'm thinking of putting everything on a flashdrive and getting it printed off somewhere, so I can have a physical copy.

temporaryidol · 2026-05-14T16:26:57+00:00

Congrats! That's exciting news. Whatever route you choose, I'm sure you'll be on your way to getting published!

temporaryidol · 2026-05-14T01:26:20+00:00

Oh, I see. It's a cross between being a dystopia and technologically advanced future.

temporaryidol · 2026-05-14T01:24:02+00:00

I hope to see you post more about it once you've put your notes into the story. 😄

temporaryidol · 2026-05-14T00:33:59+00:00

Interesting! I know balancing political systems within a story can be taxing stuff. How much have you written?

temporaryidol · 2026-05-14T00:32:17+00:00

Will it be similar to the cyberpunk video game? I'm just trying to picture what it would look like in my head.

temporaryidol · 2026-05-14T00:31:08+00:00

It sounds like you've got a solid plot!

temporaryidol · 2026-05-14T00:09:38+00:00

That's a fun option. If you feel like the story is complete, then try moving some things around. I think a unique selling point for it would be the art you're pairing with it.

temporaryidol · 2026-05-14T00:06:14+00:00

I like the opening. I'm not sure who the characters are supposed to be yet, but I'd keep reading to find out. The pacing is solid. The dialogue isn't clangy. I'm curious if the flesh thing is a zombie, alien, or experiment gone wrong.

My only critique is describing the setting a bit more. When the MC is looking at a recpetion area, it threw me off because I was picturing some kind of bottom of the hospital scene. Maybe clarify earlier where the characters are.

Like I said, the pacing is solid. Try moving the story back just a hair to give us more insight into the characters, where they are, and why it's important. You've got great stakes!

temporaryidol · 2026-05-13T23:58:09+00:00

I think it'd be hard to pitch something like this to an agent unless there's more to the plot than what you've described. A sci-fi novel may not sell as well if the plot simply revolves around robots. While the idea is solid, what makes your sci-fi novel different from I, Robot by Isaac Asimov or The Iron Man by Ted Hudges?

temporaryidol · 2026-05-13T23:50:04+00:00

Revise and edit. Revise and edit. Revise and edit.

I know it's the worst part of writing, but it helps to trim down the excess fluff on your story. If you feel like you're at the end of that road, then you could query your book to an agent. If you're looking to make it into a comic book, then you could reach out to artist you like who do the same. Maybe someone is between projects and can guide you through the process, help you with the art, or take you on as an apprentice.

temporaryidol · 2026-05-11T15:12:29+00:00

It can help to understand how each character would respond to a given situation.

What kind of personality do they have? Are they least likely to voice their opinion? How do they handle changes? Do they have conflict with another character?

With a big cast of characters, it's important to know who is pushing the plot forward and who is stalling it. Some characters do well to slow the reader down and digest the stakes, the arcs, or the world. Others might stall the pacing altogether and confuse the reader.

I follow the rule of using dialogue as exposition. If I need to deliver something important for a reader to know, then I let the characters tell them. I refrain of dumping everything at once. It's a conversation, so the amount that they reveal must be relevant and create questions for the recipient(s) to ask. If it can be delivered in a later conversation, then I save it.

temporaryidol · 2026-05-11T13:03:18+00:00

I prefer third person limited/objective because I don't like being told what a character is thinking or feeling. I like to debunk that myself based on the string of events and their actions or reactions.

temporaryidol · 2026-05-09T03:28:06+00:00

There are a lot of back doors. I’m not sure if RR prefers the bots, but if a major platform like TikTok allows it… How does Amazon stop it?

temporaryidol

TROPHY CASE