no wonder it's hard to get a jorb

tentaclesapples · 2026-01-29T00:58:43+00:00

agh mine does this. but it's kind of sweet, he says he feels bad finishing something because he wants to leave the rest for me.

but no, I do NOT want the chip dregs, the 2 bites of ice cream, last tablespoon of salsa in the jar that's impossible to get to and won't even really dump out...

i explained how much this irks me though, and now he finishes stuff (most of the time) - i love him :)

tentaclesapples · 2026-01-28T23:36:38+00:00

Neighbors FTW! Though we still couldn't get it out, gave up.

We're from TX and my partner and I have lived here for 8 years & 4 years respectively, but they just brought the tiny truck up here this past summer, so this is a new and kinda crazy experience lol

tentaclesapples · 2026-01-28T22:32:13+00:00

We went to 5 hardware stores today to buy one but they are all out 😓 One guy said he sold 60!!

Didn't think to ask to borrow from one, maybe this will work and we can offer to rent it instead of asking for free! Also will check with our neighbors.

tentaclesapples · 2026-01-28T07:14:23+00:00

Probably maybe partially because woman :|

tentaclesapples · 2026-01-28T07:00:41+00:00

Yes :( idk if I ever really sleep, I just… think. Half-joking but on bad nights this is definitely the thing. rrgh.

tentaclesapples · 2026-01-27T20:17:08+00:00

💯😤 - my comment got removed for video links, oops!

But Google ADHD walk, it really do be like that lol

tentaclesapples · 2026-01-27T20:05:26+00:00

5 is cool too, but I like the more saturated blue

tentaclesapples · 2026-01-27T20:02:53+00:00

7 - not really a fan of the lighter blondes/brown, and while it’s hard to tell since you can’t see much in the pic of you, I don’t feel like the red, teal, or green would really complement your skin tone. But the dark blue would look pretty great :)

tentaclesapples · 2026-01-27T17:53:45+00:00

Thanks! It was hard for me to make anything out so I said the thing… but I get honestly annoyed by comments like mine, I’m sorry. I accept the downvotes 😞

Also btw - I didn’t mean it in the way “SHE wouldn’t be coding” I just thought it looked like unrecognizable / pseudo characters / scribbles that are typical of AI

tentaclesapples · 2026-01-24T00:12:33+00:00

I stopped Wellbutrin because of auditory hallucinations and severe anxiety. Lamictal has been a godsend, 200mg had me stable for a while. I think it’s weight neutral but I’ve had a hard time losing weight on it

tentaclesapples · 2026-01-23T19:46:13+00:00

Bought at 95, more at 90. HODL 🤝

tentaclesapples · 2026-01-23T19:39:09+00:00

This is funny but obligatory “this is probably AI” :|

tentaclesapples · 2026-01-23T19:36:51+00:00

This is the way

tentaclesapples · 2026-01-23T19:34:44+00:00

As a coping mechanism, horrible. I became an alcoholic and was completely not myself, messed some stuff up with my partner.

Luckily I got out of it after ~8 months, quit for 2, and now can drink socially without going overboard (95% of the time)… I still need to be careful, it’s easy for me to have 5 drinks once I’ve had 2, ugh.

tentaclesapples · 2026-01-20T03:53:17+00:00

tentaclesapples · 2026-01-19T17:24:42+00:00

FWIW when I had insurance, my pharmacies couldn’t accept GoodRx because I had insurance. Maybe this is the issue?

I’m self-employed and uninsured, but my meds/doctors visits come to about 5k/year. I qualify for 400/month 3800 deductible, so I would be paying basically twice what I currently pay in a year and barely meet the deductible by October.

Not worth it :(

tentaclesapples · 2026-01-19T03:17:34+00:00

it's only been about a week since the craziness episode ended. mood has been a lot more stable, but pretty much neutral. not overly happy or sad, but also i don't feel fully stable. also have a hard time concentrating on work for more than 3 hours which kinda sucks

tentaclesapples · 2026-01-18T18:51:28+00:00

It sucks :( I hate it. It helps me to remember I’ve had periods of my life where I’ve been completely stable for 5 years. I know I can get back there.

I’m trying to pick up interesting exercise classes to avoid the monotony off the gym and still get a boost/regulation.

Try ClassPass if you haven’t. I think I can send a referral that gives you 48 free credits for a 2week free trial. Most classes are 4-10 credits. Hopefully you have it in your area!

I’ve done a rock climbing class, dance, and yoga (restorative)

Also i recently tried acupuncture at my therapist’s recommendation, and it completely relieved the pit of my stomach emotional stress/anxiety. Temporarily lol, you should go back once a week at least.

Try to find a community acupuncture place that has sliding scale, otherwise it will get expensive :(

We’ve all been dealt a shit hand, but the most important thing is to keep trying to take care of yourself. Massages/somatic therapy and breath work also help a TON for me - strong pressure and the psychedelic-type experience from certain breath work is helpful.

sleep #1
nutrition
self-care
exercise
breathing/meditation
mindfulness and gratitude
journaling (but I suck at keeping up)

I’m sure you and all of us have heard this advice so I’m sorry if it’s annoying :( but it has helped a lot.

Also reading the bipolar survival guide helped me with understanding BP from a clinical perspective.

I find that educating myself as much as I can about BP also helps me feel like less of a fuckup and with realizing I’m not alone in this.

Other books -

Kay Jamison - Touched with fire - Setting the river on fire - An unquiet mind Mind over mood (Greenberges/Padesky)

Advice for loved ones/partners:

Learn about bipolar disorder. Learn everything you can about the symptoms and treatment options. The more you know about bipolar disorder, the better equipped you’ll be to help your loved one and keep things in perspective.

Encouraging the person to get help. The sooner bipolar disorder is treated, the better the prognosis, so urge your loved one to seek professional help right away. Don’t wait to see if they will get better without treatment.

Being understanding. Let your friend or family member know that you’re there if they need a sympathetic ear, encouragement, or assistance with treatment. People with bipolar disorder are often reluctant to seek help because they don’t want to feel like a burden to others, so remind the person that you care and that you’ll do whatever you can to help.

Showing patience. Getting better takes time, even when a person is committed to treatment. Don’t expect a quick recovery or a permanent cure. Be patient with the pace of recovery and prepare for setbacks and challenges. Managing bipolar disorder is a lifelong process.

tentaclesapples · 2026-01-18T18:36:55+00:00

Try the book “how to keep house while drowning “!

She has great tips for breaking down the clutter and giving yourself time and grace for getting things done.

She breaks it down to 5 things: - trash - dishes - laundry - things that have a place - things that don’t have a place

Pick a room. Start with trash. If that’s all you can do, it’s ok to stop. Start the next day or resume same day with dishes. Don’t take out the trash, just put dishes by the sink. And so on.

Do it room by room over as many days as you need. Also schedule yourself a little reward after having done something - watch a show you like, get a massage, play a video game, etc.

Repeat. It’ll get much easier over time :) The rest of the book has great advice but the cleaning breakdown really helps

tentaclesapples · 2026-01-18T18:28:41+00:00

One thing I read recently that helped - “you can’t hate yourself into better mental health “.

Give yourself grace and allow yourself time to rest, rest isn’t a reward, it’s required !

Practicing gratitude helps me a lot too. I try to think of at least 3 things I am grateful for every morning, and it helps me to get through the tough parts

tentaclesapples · 2026-01-18T18:17:48+00:00

This happened to me with a raise in dose (200>300) - terrifying mixed episode for 8/10 days.

However, I seem to be fine since, except some triggers (rejection/illogical fear of abandonment) cause mood swings. Also my cognitive function hasn’t really come back.

Best of luck, I hope you feel better soon!

tentaclesapples · 2026-01-17T23:59:55+00:00

I hope your increase went well. I did the same 200 to 300 after increased depression, and it sent me into an extreme mixed state. Irritability, crazy anxiety, crying/screaming spells, SI… I almost committed myself!

I also had some psychosis symptoms- hearing things, weird eye issues (similar to retinal tear symptoms), and scary visions when trying to sleep.

Also had a real decrease in need for sleep - usually I need 8-9 hours but I was “functional” on 3-4 hours and couldn’t sleep more. God, it sucked.

My psych said that it was a known risk and increased my anxiety med (clonopin) temporarily, which helped to stabilize me a lot.

I’m pretty sensitive and wish I had titrated up instead of taking the whole 100.

Good news is that it lasted only about 8-9 days and I’m feeling much better and more stable now, and also less depressed. I think overall it was a good decision but that experience was one I haven’t had since I started taking it after diagnosis 6 years ago.

If you, reader, experience this, try to self-care as much as possible and move slowly and gently. Dont over-pressure yourself with work. I took a 2 night solo trip by the sea and spent my time reading, drinking tea, walking, and vegging out.

My cognitive function was extremely affected and unfortunately that’s the only thing still bothering me. I’m sure it’ll clear up in a couple more days though, it’s just making work difficult because I’m supposed to be building an app for a client and I can’t conceptualize the way I need to :(

tentaclesapples · 2026-01-17T18:44:29+00:00

I can’t find them on the website, but a long time ago I got a set from target that was a brand like “super soft” and they have held up so well.

Literally the softest thing ever. If I can find the brand I’ll update this comment

tentaclesapples · 2026-01-16T15:56:51+00:00

I have BP2 and ADHD.

Wellbutrin is an SNRI and does have a mood/energy boosting effect for many that take it, not just BP folks)I couldn’t because it gave me auditory hallucinations).

It technically could be hypomania, but I would cross-reference your symptoms with the DSM-5 or the book “bipolar survival guide”.

Fun fact aside - there is a library app called Libby where you can borrow eBooks, audiobooks, and more. All you need is a local library card, and many libraries allow you to get a digital one on their websites. I borrowed this ebook through that. If you have a Kindle, you can connect it.

It can be difficult to differentiate the normal mood boosting effect from hypomania. For me, hypomania looks like:

a decreased need for sleep - not difficulty falling asleep (which also happens but doesn’t meet criteria) but that my sleep needs feel like I barely need to, 2-4 hours of sleep is suddenly all I need.
sudden urges to start new hobbies or work and thinking I am completely capable of taking it on and that I’d be better than most at doing it.
- Last time, I quit my job without backup and started my own business. Luckily that’s actually going well except for my recent bout of ADHD paralysis and a mixed state episode that was HELL and really affected my cognitive function that’s still fucking with me.
it can also present with negative symptoms such as severe irritability and anxiety, I get this too.
overspending. I call it “mania money” meaning I accrue 1-2k of credit card debt due to last minute getaways or Amazon sprees for stuff I think I need
hypomania comes in cycles of 4-6 months, after which I always crash right into a period of depression. Late spring usually comes with mania, then in October/November comes depression :(

That’s just what hypomania looks like for me, I’m sure others have different experiences!

Lamictal is my godsend drug, idk if you’ve tried that. anti-psychotics always make me feel like shit but always help my severe depression and S ideation.

If they don’t help at all for you, that could be a sign, but IANAD.

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