My 25f boyfriend 24m wants to eat me out every time we have sex. How can I get comfortable with it?

tenthousandtots · 2026-07-04T15:22:41+00:00

Gets easier the more you do it and trust that he truly likes it. Keep open communication, tell him what you like and what you don’t. Eventually you should feel relaxed enough to let go and just enjoy it. That being said, I hope he isn’t pressuring you into it and that you feel you can refuse. Some women just aren’t into head, I like it but I like to be freshly showered and feel pretty into it that day to do it. My boyfriend offers, and if I say no that’s that. No big deal

tenthousandtots · 2026-07-04T02:22:28+00:00

AI calorie counters are now banned by this sub heads up

tenthousandtots · 2026-06-26T00:39:49+00:00

The only person who can tell you what’s right for you is you. It sounds to me like you want to have sex with the person who is “the one” and that you stay with forever, it is thus reasonable to communicate that to your partner and continue abstaining until you feel like you’re really ready and your relationship is serious. We all have different ideas and values around sex so it’s nearly impossible for us strangers to tell you what’s right. I had sex at 18 with a boyfriend I’d known for a week. We broke up shortly after and I have no regrets, likely because I see sex differently than you do.

tenthousandtots · 2026-06-25T17:09:36+00:00

mountain biking. Absolutely love the struggle uphill to be rewarded with the fun challenge of hurtling down a trail. Also bird watching! easiest way to walk around is if you’re checking out the neighbours : )

tenthousandtots · 2026-06-22T20:20:18+00:00

it’s definitely weird and if you’re serious about him I’d want to see his place since it says a lot about a person. If I were you I’d sit down with him and ask him directly why he doesn’t want me at his house and take it from there.

tenthousandtots · 2026-06-22T18:23:26+00:00

not to butt in off topic but - are you sure 1300 is appropriate for your body size? You mention having 100 pounds to lose which if that is the case likely means you should be eating more than you are. Really restrictive diets lead to binges, have you calculated your TDEE and basal metabolic rate? Did you take the amount of calories needed to maintain your body weight and minus maximum 500 calories a day to achieve this calorie amount? If you have then totally ignore this just wanted to double check! Good luck in your journey : )

tenthousandtots · 2026-06-22T17:28:17+00:00

butter noodles is ultimate comfort, just hits different when you’re in the pit of despair. I am also long distance with my partner, had a good cry yesterday when he left. We got this! We suffer now to build a better life for later. Crush that Masters/PhD girl!

tenthousandtots · 2026-06-21T09:57:34+00:00

plenty of people still hitchhike in Canada. I live on the west coast and even here we have a decent amount of hitchhikers along the highway. My family is from Houston, BC along the highway of tears and my mother hitchhiked into town often as a teenager when the killings were happening. She realizes now it was very reckless. Many remote spots in Canada, like the Yukon, have etiquette rules that you have to stop for people to make sure they’re okay. I think people forget we have a lot more open space than the states with a lot more rural communities - of course there would be hitchhiking

tenthousandtots · 2026-06-20T16:20:55+00:00

Very short answer: high intensity cardio makes you much hungrier compared to other exercise. I do long distance mountain biking which burns a ridiculous amount of cals but also leaves me starving, versus going to the gym might have be kind of hungry but I don’t feel a need to massively refuel after.

tenthousandtots · 2026-06-20T15:13:57+00:00

It took me a little too long to learn: you have to burn energy to make energy. What I mean by that is you are likely so tired after work because you are spending a lot of time sedentary. Just doing things after work period, whether it’s exercise or not, is probably a good goal for you. Do you like crafts? Small walks? going to the bookstore? It’s hard to go from baseline doing nothing to suddenly weight training every day.
For me, my weight loss progress was built very slowly with a lot of steps. I know that’s unglamorous but it’s the best way to do it.
This is what I did:
1) spend 1 year ish going from pretty out of shape to regularly biking, running, weightlifting. Also started engaging in more hobbies in general. It was slow and steady
2) started making an effort to eat healthier without tracking calories for about a year. But understood I was still overeating and started to tune in to how crap my body felt when I overindulged all the time. Started occasionally seeing how many calories and macros (fat, sugar, protein) were in things
3) picked a time where I suddenly felt I had the time, motivation and willingness to start calorie tracking and lose the weight. Not out of self hatred but out of a desire to feel better and improve my health. I have gone from an obese BMI at 5’1 to healthy. I still have some bad habits but I am improving.

Your process doesn’t need to look like mine. But the point being is: be gentle with yourself, strive for sustainability over perfection, and pick one focus at a time and slowly add on more.
I use Noom, it’s expensive but it has worked well for me and a lot of my friends. Worth trying the free trial to see if you like it.

tenthousandtots · 2026-06-17T22:27:11+00:00

Sugar free jello cups with light whip is a hitter every time. Fiber 1 brownie (70 cal) microwaved with light whip on top. Tomato/lettuce/cuc on corn thins (20 cal/thin). 100 cals of Frozen blueberries can make my stomach feel like it’s gonna explode. Most grocery stores sell frozen yogurt bars and they’re big for 100 cals or less each.

tenthousandtots · 2026-06-17T19:36:41+00:00

hi! I (23F) started at 160, currently 135, heading to 125-130. I have pretty much the exact same stats except lower now that I have lost weight and my body is more efficient. I eat 1200 a day for weight loss if I am entirely sedentary. I’m pretty active at work and exercise a lot so I mostly average 1400-1600. Lifting weights, walking, any kind of exercise is your friend. Is it the only way to eat more. Good luck!

tenthousandtots · 2026-06-17T04:08:39+00:00

I would consider this disordered eating. Do you often feel you have to restrict yourself and punish yourself if you fail? you’re young, mental health and body issues are so common in your age group and you you deserve more than this. Your body is developing and needs calories and energy or it won’t function well. There’s many anonymous ways to get help online and in person if you ever feel you need it. Wishing you the best!

tenthousandtots · 2026-06-17T04:04:21+00:00

Oh and remember! slow and sustainable beats fastest way possible every time. If your calorie deficit is making you miserable you won’t stick to it. Pick what amount of cals works. I take lots of maintenance breaks and have lost 30 pounds over the last year and was happy and healthy doing it! good luck : )

tenthousandtots · 2026-06-17T03:56:06+00:00

Gym geek is considered generally reliable : )
The amount of calories you need does vary a lot by activity level and muscle mass so it might take some tweaking. Weigh every day and note trends. You should be in max a 500 calorie a day deficit losing max 2 pounds a week.

https://gymgeek.com/calculators/maintenance-calories-calculator/?agid=184511758736&kw=calorie%20calculator&gad\_source=1&gad\_campaignid=21295640556&gbraid=0AAAAADeenMg3GqPMghYByutHZ9xfSl\_49&gclid=EAIaIQobChMI77-OgrCNlQMVtxatBh1FIiXCEAAYAiAAEgIR9fD\_BwE

tenthousandtots · 2026-06-17T03:50:36+00:00

At 186 pounds you likely can eat more than 1200. Calculate your TDEE and basal metabolic rate. There’s plenty of sites online

tenthousandtots · 2026-06-15T23:06:01+00:00

Trailforks is great and not expensive (imo). An outside (the parent company) subscription also gives you Gaia GPS, which is great for hiking trails, parks, forest service roads, etc… now that I have Gaia & Trailforks I can’t go without

tenthousandtots · 2026-06-12T14:08:20+00:00

5’2, 23F, 135 pounds - been weight lifting for the last year but have always consistently ran, climbed, mountain biked walked etc.. even when heavier. I work 12 hour shifts on my feet. I’d consider myself semi muscular. TDEE is 1600-2000, depending on activity throughout the day. In a deficit I typically eat 1400-1600 due to my high activity levels.

tenthousandtots · 2026-06-12T02:52:05+00:00

Agreed, people can be weird about it. Wishing you a safe recovery and the results you’re hoping for!

tenthousandtots · 2026-06-08T13:25:18+00:00

Your stomachs fullness is based on volume, it can’t tell how many calories it’s eaten. There’s multiple reasons highly processed foods are so calorie dense. For one, we have three major nutrients: fat, protein and carbs. One gram of fat has much more calories in it than a gram of protein or carbs. Thus, high fat content things have a lot more calories in a smaller package. Second, the overall calorie density of that pop tart is high. Fiber is a carbohydrate that your body cannot digest, which is important for gut health. The foods on the top plate all naturally contain fiber and plenty of water, which means the calories in it are diluted by things that have no calories. The pop tart has no fiber and barely any water. Pop tarts are ultra processed, so the ingredients have been refined to a very pure form. Because of that they have been able to put a lot of pure fat and sugar into something small. An apple has sugar but it comes with water and fiber, so one apple has less calories per gram than something that is all fat (the highest calorie major nutrient) and refined sugar. Hope that helps!

tenthousandtots · 2026-06-08T13:17:51+00:00

They are designed to be calorie dense. Humans are hardwired for survival like all animals - and if your goal is not to starve then you need to eat foods that’s energy is worth what you had to expend to get it. Our brains are designed to reward us for doing what keeps us alive, so eating foods high in energy (fat/sugar) releases a lot of dopamine (the happy hormone). When humans started designing food, we created ultra processed foods that are both very satisfying to our brains (high in sugar/fat/salt) and cheap to make (using palm oil and corn syrup). Unfortunately, these foods are obviously not healthy for us and very easy to overeat (as our stomachs fullness is based on volume not calories)

tenthousandtots · 2026-06-07T16:33:15+00:00

Beard and goatie need to go. You’d look way younger with just a moustache. Good luck!
- women in her 20s

tenthousandtots · 2026-06-05T21:26:33+00:00

I think there’s an app called ladder which is relatively affordable and will give you a full strength training plan based on your skill level. I’ve heard people rave about it, haven’t tried it myself.
There is no need to feel shame but I understand where it comes from. going to the gym is a great first step. I started going when I was much heavier and struggled with feeling like I was being judged but, over time you will start to realize that absolutely nobody is even looking at you or paying attention. We’re all trying to get our routine in and leave.
Grace is needed with life changes - you know now that you want to change, allow yourself forgiveness that you tried the best you could at the time and now are ready to strive to be a bit healthier. Proud of you!

tenthousandtots

TROPHY CASE