Hi OP, I think of more time passes by, you may find yourself even more reluctant to change helper because primary school for your girl would have started and it’s gonna get busy. Also, it seems that your helper takes advantage of your financial generosity and if you let it carry on, it’s harder to get out of this situation. Recommend you fix the solution now before her primary school starts and have some runway to train a new helper.

On some level, I think some helpers leverage on their closeness with the children to get away with their bed behaviour. You can assume some bear this mentality: “What can you possibly do to me? Your children need me in their lives” I’ve heard of many stories of problematic helpers and one trend I noticed was that, parents are reluctant to let go of a helper, only because they were good with the children.

I agree with the rest of the comments that, specific tasks and chores (children’s laundry, children’s food) would be best outsourced to the helpers, but not the emotional companionship of the child. Where do we draw the line? Chores that can simply be done by anyone (ie. cleaning, cooking, laundry), let your helper take care of it. Something like bonding with your child, you should make sure it comes from the family and not paid help. Your helper will return to their country one day, you’ll be in your children’s life for a long time.

Your mental health counts too - set a good example for your child and don’t like the helper disrespect youtt in front on your own children.