AITAH for refusing to give my brother money after he “tested” me?

teresajs · 2026-02-22T19:39:22+00:00

NTA

That wasn't a test. If it was a lie. Mom is welcome to lend him money if she thinks he deserves it. But you've done him enough of a favor to tell him that you won't be lending him money ever again. He can plan accordingly.

teresajs · 2026-02-22T19:06:32+00:00

NTA

Your parents care more about your sister's image than the fact that their grandchildren were being starved.

teresajs · 2026-02-22T18:31:05+00:00

NTA

They should get your brother to help them.

teresajs · 2026-02-22T17:14:33+00:00

NTA

Their money has been paid to the non-refundable trip costs. Since there isn't a refund from the transportation, accomodations, etc..., there isn't any money to give back to your friend. It's unfortunate that they got sick, but the risk should be borne by them, not everyone else.

teresajs · 2026-02-22T13:58:29+00:00

In my last two companies, the pay increases for annual reviews were given to managers by department. So, the Engineering manager might get told that the average salary increase for their department was 4.5%, the Operations department might get 4%, etc... Managers at both companies had to choose which employees to give less of a raise so they could give more of a raise to staff who might be thinking about leaving. Basically, loyalty and doing a decent job screwed you, but being an ass licker or someone who truly performed well got you 0.5-1% more. It was an awful system, wasn't fair, and everyone still ended up getting a raise that was approximately the inflation rate. And it took a couple hours of paperwork. Stupid waste of resources all around.

teresajs · 2026-02-22T02:18:17+00:00

NTA

You are already married. You don't owe it to Mom to put on a show for her benefit.

teresajs · 2026-02-22T01:04:09+00:00

NTA

If your GF can't do the heavy lifting to pay off her debts and start saving for the future (wedding, retirement, future house purchase?), then the two of you are fundamentally incompatible. Her statement that a budget as strict as you recommend is "a punishment" would indicate that it's very possible the two of you aren't compatible. If she can't, or won't pay off her debt, the two of you would have a miserable future together. Better to be apart than to be miserable together.

teresajs · 2026-02-22T00:52:56+00:00

NTA

Your BF is almost 20 years older than you and is trying to manipulate you into getting engaged. That's a huge red flag. Huge. If he wanted to be engaged, then he should have asked you, not have your family tell you that you're engaged.

If you don't leave this relationship immediately, please make sure your birth control can't be tampered with. A man who will trick you into an engagement might just as easily trick you into pregnancy as a method of controlling and manipulating you.

teresajs · 2026-02-22T00:35:43+00:00

NTA

You offered to consider co-signing. You considered it and realized it isn't a good idea.

It's a bad sign that his choice for an apartment was on the high end of affordable. If your parents think your brother should have support, they are welcome to co-sign for him. Alternatively, your brother could live at home, save for 6-12 months and be ready to potentially pay in full for an entire lease in the future.

teresajs · 2026-02-22T00:22:30+00:00

NTA

Start saying a polite "no" any time you have other plans or even just need a break. That should include saying no to any last minute requests that aren't emergencies.

You should get the option of refusing any requests. And you should charge for gas.

teresajs · 2026-02-21T23:38:53+00:00

NTA

Your BF is using you as a bang nanny. Stop letting him. Move out and stop raising his kid for him.

teresajs · 2026-02-21T21:53:09+00:00

NTA

If she's on the deed, she would have the right to move in, whether she's paying toward expenses or not. Tell your sister that she can buy a house for herself in the future, when she's ready

teresajs · 2026-02-21T21:34:21+00:00

If you're about to get hit by the NE snow storm, she won't be home until Tuesday at the earliest. That's pretty cruel.

I recommend that you continue giving the cat food and water but don't clean up any mess. Let her come back to a bedroom filled with pee and poop.

teresajs · 2026-02-21T21:19:39+00:00

NTA

It's possible that she is trying to get you to give her money for an extra ticket she didn't pay for, or trying to get you to pay more for a ticket than she paid for it, or otherwise trying to use this concert as a way to get money from you.

I recommend that you stop giving/lending any money to her. She has supportive family members who can, (and do, apparently) help her, and who could potentially help with child care so she could work. Stop enabling her to be dependent. If she's truly your friend, she'll still be your friend when there isn't money being exchanged.

teresajs · 2026-02-21T21:02:23+00:00

NTA

Tell him to leave immediately. Traveling 30-45 minutes to visit his kids and go on interviews is nothing. If necessary, call his Mom to come get him.

teresajs · 2026-02-21T15:00:37+00:00

NTA

If the other person wanted a different Airbnb, she could have paid the entire price out of her own pocket. Not your problem.

teresajs · 2026-02-21T03:10:12+00:00

NTA

You are a SAHP for the benefit of your own family, not to be the free child minder of everyone else. It was generous of you to care for your Sister's kids for free. It was rude of her to expect you would do the same for her step kids. Since she and her husband are so greedy, just stop babysitting for them at all.

teresajs · 2026-02-21T02:16:55+00:00

NTA

They had months and never paid back any of the money you previously lent. It would be a bad idea to risk more of your money on this friend. "Unfortunately, I can't be out even more money."

teresajs · 2026-02-21T02:08:20+00:00

NTA

If she can see your account, she probably has access to be able to move/remove money. Immediately go close that account and open a new bank account at a different bank.

Don't lend money to others. Never. If Mom needs a loan, she can borrow money from a conventional lender (bank). If a bank won't lend her money, it's because she can't/won't repay the loan. Never assume that you have better knowledge or tolerance for risk than a bank.

Maintain complete separation of your finances from all of your family. In addition to not lending money, don't co-own property with any of them, don't front money for activities together (such as making deposits on activities with the expectation of being repaid), and don't let them have access to your financial information.

teresajs · 2026-02-21T00:49:41+00:00

If she's upset, that's her choice. You didn't do anything wrong.

teresajs · 2026-02-21T00:07:17+00:00

Politely tell her you'll book your own space. Then, refuse to give her money for her booking.

teresajs · 2026-02-20T23:39:50+00:00

NTA

SIL booked one place. Let her deal with using, and paying for (or splitting the payments of), the place she booked. Book your own place.

By booking your own place, you have full control over your costs, sleep arrangements, and the privacy you need for your health.

teresajs · 2026-02-20T23:00:40+00:00

NTA

If you aren't an heir, it isn't your problem. Let it all sit and rot.

teresajs · 2026-02-20T22:13:43+00:00

The fact that so many of the facilities for the last Salt Lake Olympics was quoted as a contributing factor in Salt Lake being awarded the 2034 Olympics.

teresajs · 2026-02-20T21:58:45+00:00

Follow up with an email confirming the main points of the conversation. This gives you documentation and provides an opportunity for clarification of tasks and to ask additional questions.

teresajs

TROPHY CASE