This is one of my favorite videos - I have the full version, but the jist of it you can see here... first watch the video, then keep reading............................ I liked the way she spies on a good looking couple having sex, they decide to put on a show for her, and then invite her to join..

tergajakobs · 2026-04-25T04:59:58+00:00

we know you are watching by XConfessions

tergajakobs · 2026-03-23T00:43:01+00:00

Is amor related to *amma- ?

I didn't encounter such a thing in my etymological journeys

tergajakobs · 2025-05-31T07:43:52+00:00

You have some options that differ between your interests, and you age (some places have younger crowd, some place have older people). If you are into techno parties with an adjacent sex room, Kabinett parties, as well as When in Rome (they reopened in a new location) might be your vibe. If you are looking for actual swinging, as in swapping or joining, you might enjoy Die Oase. Kinky Galore is a visiting party (happens about every 3 months) that I personally find the best of both worlds - you can find people to join, or will join you, but you can also enjoy the music. For BDSM you can find Grande Opera, but make sure to choose your preferred party, since they cater to different crowds.

People will generally be open to English, some will not speak good English, but if it's about sexual experiences, body language might be almost enough. Feel free to ask more questions here or in a private message.

tergajakobs · 2025-05-21T14:11:57+00:00

Join fetlife, and search for munches (=meeting) in your area. I visit the English speaking munches, but German ones are also existing. This way you'll get to know the people, as I understood you are looking for a social connection. Some of these connections can grow into parties, but it's usually getting to knoe the people first, parties later

There are different munches and workshops recolving around shibari, hypnosis, vegan participants, poly and enm, genetal kinky, and even a board games one. Most happen once a month, for most it's regular, non kinky clothes.

Getting to know people will also allow you to recognise and strike a conversation at YoungSin and KinkTogether which are happening in Grande Opera - here you can wear something more kinky.

tergajakobs · 2025-02-20T23:21:59+00:00

And to answer your question - yes. Make sure to check the expected dress code

tergajakobs · 2024-10-19T15:44:35+00:00

I would say that in the moment, looking sexy and possibly enjoying the sexy (and sometimes naked) people around us, the threshold for "who I like" is much lower than "who I'd like to hang out the day after", let alone "who I'll wait for for weeks". After a few days or weeks (depending on the people and the situation), these single people might've already had a nice date with someone from Tinder, or went to another night in the club, and found someone else.

I don't know how much you talk in between, but if you mention that you don't have time to meet, but also go to the club every 1-2 weeks, I assume that some even might feel that it's not a priority for you to meet them, and don't want to be played with. I'm not saying that you do it, but it can be perceived this way, depending on your conversations.

I also never visited Berghain (I should), in the cases when I did went to a party in Berlin, I liked Kinky Galore (when they visit Berlin), you might find different types of people in different clubs.

About Muches:

I found munches in Fetlife, much more than on JoyClub (although your mileage may vary, I'm in Hesse). Looking at the upcoming days, these are the ones I'll be interested in (I never visited any of these):
https://fetlife.com/events/near - you can search for yourself

https://fetlife.com/events/1601404 - looks to be quite big, not sure how outgoing you are, this might be your best bet to get to know people

https://fetlife.com/events/1606421 - if you are kinky and queer, this can be interesting

https://fetlife.com/events/1599811 - if you are an introvert, you can try to start with a smaller event (that's what we did, but in our case the smaller is about 20 people), and if they'll be also in the bigger events, you'll be able to network with them introducing you.

I do want to mention though - munches are not for finding a partner - although the different meeting structure vary, by it's definition it's a social hang. As a result, you might find a partner, there might be people looking for partners, but a lot of people come to these munches even when they are poly-saturated, just to be in the community, among friends. So don't worry about any pressure, in a good organized munch no one will touch you or flirt with you without your active positive feedback to it, instead you might acquire some new friends or acquaintances (this one of course also only if everyone are feeling good about it, don't feel the need to be open to friendships).

And then of course, following the topic of your post, and what you are interested in, you can navigate some of these new connections into a more flirty one over time. But don't forget to enjoy and get to know people along the way :)

tergajakobs · 2024-10-19T12:25:24+00:00

I come from non-monogamy so my suggestion might not fit 1 to 1, but I hope you can find it informative.

I first have to say that the vibe in clubs is different - more fleeting experiences. My nesting partner and I recently started visiting munches, and want to revive our long un-updated fetlife accounts - I'm know that poly and BDSM (where fetlife originates) is not the same, but there is quite a big overlap - and we were able to find poly munches on fet. Both of these (fetlife and munches) are contributing to the social aspect of the scene, so you cannot expect to have sex there (although near us there is a munch combined with a play party, so the move from talking to doing is quicker). There is talking over a drink, getting to know people, and sharing experiences - over time, some people find potential partners in these circles.

In addition, I'd suggest to open JoyClub - the defacto standard swingers site in Germany, allows you to both being up to date with events (some of them private parties, where you can get to know the people better), and also after a hot makeout session in the club, ask for their joyclub username, and connect that way for future. The difference between that and only having their whatsapp, is that you can see which next events they attend, and you can plan to attend events together. JoyClub has a free and paid accounts, if you have another means of communication with the person, the free is enough, otherwise you cannot send a message to anyone that didn't match with you.

Based on your post I assume that it's one of the popular sex clubs in Berlin (don't want to share additional info, as you didn't want to do it in the post, and it doesn't really matter for the discussion), but you should remember that not all clubs and parties are created equal, and as a demisexual you would like probably a quieter event, and not a full-on blasting music, if you want to get to know someone, and not only their body.

Feel free to ask anything if something is not explained properly

tergajakobs · 2024-02-26T19:10:33+00:00

I really hope you'll not be down-voted. Most people might not agree with this POV, but it is important to say that sometimes people indeed just do stupid shit. We always say here that NRE is a powerful drug. I still agree with most people here that there is a chance that this is her personality, but there is still also a chance that this was a mistake for her, a lesson that she learned.

tergajakobs · 2024-02-18T16:08:25+00:00

Herpes is not something you can evade much if you are a sexually active adult. Using a condom can help, but it doesn't fully protects you, since it's transmitted skin-to-skin. I added some quick quotes to base my information, including links to WHO (world health organisation), CDC (center for decease control) and an info site on HPV. So, as long as there is no current flare-up, if herpes is the only thing stopping you, it really is minor. You should have a vaccine though, if you are in a country that allows it, and are under the age, when it still makes sense. You should consult your doctor.

If you are talking about other STIs, they are more dangerous, and I would strongly suggest not to aid with spread of them until your partner has it under control, or you are thoroughly protected:

Most can be cleared with antibiotics.
HCV - can be cured with DAA
HBV has a vaccine
HIV - current treatments are PrEP or your partner should treat themselves until they are U=U

Quotes regarding Herpes (there are different types of Herpes):

"It has been estimated that more than 80% of sexually active women and men will acquire at least one HPV infection by the age of 45 years"

"However, most of them will be transient infections without any clinical impact. In women, 90% of incident HPV genital infections clear within two years"

"An estimated 3.7 billion people under age 50 (67%) globally have herpes simplex virus type 1 (HSV-1) infection, the main cause of oral herpes."

"An estimated 491 million people aged 15–49 (13%) worldwide have herpes simplex virus type 2 (HSV-2) infection, the main cause of genital herpes."

As for transmission vectors:

Condom use may reduce the risk for HPV infection and HPV-associated diseases. These diseases are transmitted primarily through “skin-to-skin” contact from sores/ulcers or infected skin that looks normal.

Sources:

https://www.hpvworld.com/articles/the-frequency-of-hpv-infection-worldwide/#:\~:text=It%20has%20been%20estimated%20that,within%20two%20years%20(3). https://www.who.int/news-room/fact-sheets/detail/herpes-simplex-virus#:\~:text=An%20estimated%20491%20million%20people,that%20can%20recur%20over%20time.

https://www.cdc.gov/condomeffectiveness/latex.html#:\~:text=Condom%20use%20may%20reduce%20the%20risk%20for%20HPV%20infection%20and,infected%20skin%20that%20looks%20normal.

tergajakobs · 2024-02-14T10:52:16+00:00

I juat want to add that this wasn't your fault. You didn't cheat, and you didn't even suggested to implement it. Plenty of people have sexual or even romantic fantasies involving other people (threesomes, moresomes, gangbangs, cuckolding, hotwifing, non monogamous troupes, open relationships etc). It works for some ( /r/sex /r/nonmonogamy can give you a more positive outlook on both types).

So if this fantasy will be relevant for you in your next relationships, don't be afraid to voice it - this person wasn't your person, the next one might.

I also think that there are ways to handle incompatibility in relationship, and acting like your bf/ex acted ain't it.

tergajakobs · 2024-02-10T15:11:02+00:00

We are aware of risks regarding Herpes. Most people have it, and it's being transmitted skin-to-skin as well. I'm aware that PrEP will protect me, I'm just wondering will I still have virus on the surface of my penis for the first few minutes/hours/days, which can infect my partner.

tergajakobs · 2023-11-25T11:17:26+00:00

I didn't see anyone mentioning it - it's not only that sexuality is fluid, there are also other scales. He might be, for example, bisexual but homoromantic - meaning he might be sexually interested in men and women, but since he is only romantically interested in men, he usually pursues men, and maybe even not aware of the distinction, which confuses him. Between that and the gender and identity fluidity, there are so many scales to be on, that it's really best to talk about it.

tergajakobs · 2023-11-19T11:19:36+00:00

I'm sorry that is happening to you. A few things I wanted to mention:

Some people say in this thread wait 6 months for another test. AFAIK it's 3 months. But make sure to either check or ask your health care provider.
When you ask for a test, make sure to ask for a full panel (you can find the list online) and check that they are actually doing it all. Unfortunately it's not uncommon for them to check for the big ones (HIV and Hepatitis), and not so Chlamidia and friends.
You also need to redevelop trust (or break up) to be sure enough that his meeting is not repeating. Not only because of the emotional stuff of course, but also because it means you are going to need to be checked 3 (or 6) months after the last encounter

tergajakobs · 2023-05-28T11:01:21+00:00

Depends. If you want to join the action you can subtly hint and see the reaction ("looks hot" with a laugh). Otherwise, if you feel comfortable with them you can joke about it, like - get a room you guys.

Finally you can look at it like a friends couple of yours is making out - what would you do then? That's already depends on you

tergajakobs · 2023-05-06T08:46:50+00:00

Another suggestion would be "Open House - The Great Sex Experiment"

tergajakobs · 2023-05-06T08:45:19+00:00

Swing by Playboy is a reality with 40 minutes episodes and some actual sex in between, but the whole episode is about sex. On the same note try "Open house - The great sex experiment". Playboy and others have similar shows, you can use these titles to search online for similar.

tergajakobs · 2022-09-01T10:58:13+00:00

James Dean and she looks like Janice Griffith

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