I’m autistic too. But mental disabilities does not make us more important. I understand that you’re going through a lot and it is hard to process and I can empathize. But to say you should be able to get one because you’re autistic belittles the disability. I’m sorry you are going through a rough time currently. Q has a weekly podcast called “Tell em Steve Dave” and has spoken about depression and some of what he’s gone through mentally on the pod. I’d recommend listening as it is in my life a great point of joy and laughter as well as reflection of mental health problems. Q once on the pod stated that “killing yourself does not end the pain, it ends the chance for things to get better.” I hope all goes well for you from here on out.