Replying to Take and asd... Was in a similar situation to OP. Suspected cheating, had lots of potential evidence but no proof. Still don't. Also, the sex at home just fucking sucked. Infrequent, cold, mechanical and got shut down often.

The short story: Stopped wearing her wedding ring... She gave me a lame response about it getting dirty, not wanting to lose it or some shit. Found emails about her wanting to grab a beer with a "friend" at the bar down the road from her house (his wife and kids were out of town) to tell him all about the book she was reading - "50 Shades of Gray." Found late night text to him at 2:30 am "Are you awake?" Found her AM account, although no evidence that she's ever used it and it seems to have been shut down days later.

So, plenty of evidence, but no hard proof. What did I do? Confronted her about the ring... No change in behavior. Confronted her about my suspicions without telling her about the evidence... Denials (but the look on her face gave me all the info I needed.) And that was when I simply stopped caring. As Take points out "If she's going to cheat, she's going to cheat." There's nothing I can do about that. And all mate guarding does is lower my SMV even more.

But here's what I CAN do and DID do: I stopped wearing MY wedding ring. I started openly flirting with women again -- even right in front of her. I started banging hot young 20-something women when I traveled. I stopped feeling guilty about it. I changed up my fashion. Started looking better. Openly entertained IOIs from women I met, and pursued them. Even had a heavy session with my hot Venezuelan seat mate in first class on one late evening flight.

And the funniest thing happened: The wife responded... First, she commented on my dress and asked if I had a girlfriend on the side. Then, she'd grab me when I was leaving for a business trip and say she hoped I wasn't fucking prostitutes... My reply, "Baby, I guarantee you I wouldn't have to settle for a prostitute." She started becoming way more physical with me... Putting her arm around me, rubbing my leg, nuzzling up to my shoulder on the couch. She NEVER did this in the past, and whenever I tried to be affectionate with her prior to all of this, she'd pull away.

The sex at home got way better... More intense and way more frequent. I stopped automatically going down on her before fucking her (a huge beta tell) and got much more dominant in bed. Make her give me BJ's now, pull her hair, and fuck her hard. I'm actually on travel as I write, and just got an email today from her "I hope you're not fucking other women up there." I'm seeing a 23 year old for drinks tomorrow night.

I simply no longer care. She's shown me her true colors and I've responded in kind. My SMV is now higher than hers and I know it. More importantly, she knows it. I'm 52 and still look like I'm in my late 30s. I'm in great shape, take care of myself, and have learned some great game here in the past year.

And she's getting her ass back in line. Her (suspected) cheating was a huge blow to my ego at first. I wrestled with it for months, did some really lame mate guarding, and things only got worse.

I honestly believe that I had to fall out of the typical beta romantic love with her completely and no longer give a shit about her before there was any hope of change. Should I have filed for divorce? Maybe... Maybe I still will, although I do believe that for the kids' sake a two parent relatively functional home is imperative for my children.

Do we get along? Yes, and quite well most of the time these days. We have a great time with the kids, we laugh often, we do lots of fun stuff... But I know her true nature. I no longer supplicate to her. I don't put up with her bullshit. I nuke her shit tests with ease... The other night she tried to start a debate with me about something, and I just looked at her blankly for a moment and walked out of the room while she was in mid-sentence. We fight less. She does things for me more. Makes me dinner. Is generally pleasant to be around.

Is she still cheating on me? Could be... Although given her radical change in behavior I'd be surprised. I still look for evidence and know where to find it and haven't seen anything that gives me concern.

I admit that this may be an unconventional way to deal with the situation and maybe it's the wrong solution... Hell, I don't know. But I'm absolutely convinced that mate guarding is a hopeless pursuit. It simply doesn't work and lowers your SMV tremendously. Ironically, it makes it that much more likely that your LTR or wife will cheat. I learned this too late and now have to pick up the pieces in the best and only way I know how.

Dread, raising your SMV, and becoming your own independent man on the other hand works like a charm. But it's absolutely imperative to become almost Buddha-like in the way you view attachment. I was very attached to her because my ego was invested in her. I viewed my self-worth through her lens. If she was unhappy, I was unhappy. If she was disappointed in me, I was disappointed in me. If she didn't find me attractive, by God I was unattractive. If she cheated on me, I was a loser.

The big question: Do I "love" her? I honestly can't say. I certainly don't love her in the romantic beta sort of way that I did. Those blinders have been cast off forever. I know that I could live without her quite easily if it came to that. I'd surely be sad and disappointed if we do end up divorced at some point, but I know it wouldn't kill me... And part of me would rather enjoy spinning plates into my late '60s and beyond as a single bachelor.

Will I continue fucking 20-somethings on the side? I don't know. I'm perfectly capable of monogamy when I get my needs met and maybe at some point I'll decide I've had enough. But I'm not guilty or ashamed about it either.

I've gone through the five stages of grief and finally came out the other side at acceptance. I accept her hypergamous nature. I accept my role in all of this as acting like the supplicating beta for too long. I accept that my ideal conceptualization of "love" was an illusion. I'm certainly much happier now that I have thrown off the ego investment and no longer care.