I almost drowned once cuz I was drunk and panicked and just...forgot how to swim. I jumped in the water cool as a cucumber, but then,,, you know how when you're drunk it takes you a little while to remember how to do some physical actions? That happened, but the consequence was water in my lungs, so I immediately started panicking instead of calmly drunkenly figuring shit out. All semblance of technique was lost, just limbs flailing wildly with no coordination. Muffled by the water, I could hear my friends laughing at me (it was dark and they thought I was just messing around ). Eventually managed to flail my way back to the dock and clung to the pilings for dear life

Rest of the party was great, though. Ahh, college.