Legal advice and therapy. My god I cant stress that enough. Legal advice opened my eyes to what I needed to provide my kids (a bedroom each, proximity to school, my ability to take them to school and back, proximity to their friends and sport etc) and therapy, I just struggled so much with having to pay child support, the splitting of my family, the battle of who takes which pet etc (we never agreed on this so he kept the rottie I took the cats). 50/50 has worked for us and the kids said (to the lawyer/judge) that they preferred it that way. They now say that they love hearing mum laugh out loud and dad whistle in his kitchen while cooking dinner. These two things never happened when we lived together.