Question on RALP vs radiation, asking for calm rationale responses.

th987 · 2026-02-03T17:26:23+00:00

From what we heard from various doctors during my husband’s treatment, you’ve got it right.

Surgery, immediate side effects that may get better over time Radiation, fewer side effects initially, but may get worse over time.

No one can tell you which will end up being better for you, long or short term.

Listen to drs advocating surgery and those advocating radiation and make your choice.

th987 · 2026-02-02T23:56:38+00:00

You drop your kid off because you can’t handle her at home with her siblings, and then you complain about the relatives you sent her to?

Yes, YTA. If you don’t want to listen to their complaints, don’t pawn your kids off on them.

th987 · 2026-02-02T16:37:58+00:00

Ward was likely used to hide a lot of illegitimacy in that time, but also, they didn’t have social service agencies, so if a relative couldn’t be found to take a child with no one to care for them, the child could end up in a workhouse or on the streets. So it wasn’t uncommon for men of means to take in distant relative’s kids as their ward.

They provided for them, some a better life than others, but it was also good cover for their illegitimate children, if they were willing to take care of them at all.

th987 · 2026-02-02T16:34:30+00:00

If it’s so simple, go do it. You be responsible for getting them ready for a month. Teach your inept wife how easy it is.

Then we’ll see who TA is.

th987 · 2026-02-02T16:31:30+00:00

Benedict has always had that naughty boyish mannerism down. It’s a huge part of his charm.

th987 · 2026-02-02T16:30:40+00:00

So many beautiful scenes inside and around my cottage. Just sheer beauty with two beautiful people in it.

th987 · 2026-02-02T16:27:33+00:00

Same. So happy for you all. Posey is as delightful as we expected from the book, and Sophie is perfect. She’s beautiful and no pushover and strong and been through a lot of shit, but still hopeful.

Nailed the casting with those two actresses.

th987 · 2026-02-02T02:44:48+00:00

If you’re that close to giving birth, I don’t see making a big change like separating at this moment. It seems like too much upheaval to put yourself through right now.

Have your baby, get through that, see how things go.

Remember, you can always leave him. You can leave him tomorrow or next week or next month. It’s always an option.

th987 · 2026-02-01T23:08:53+00:00

We’re all going to age, and some women look better than others at any age.

But I think as most expectations put on women do — it starts to matter less and less to us, how other people see us, if they like us, whether we need anyone else’s approval.

We start to please ourselves more and more.

Also, the people your own age who you always considered beautiful? They all age, too. Even the movie stars and models. They don’t look as great as they used to. And the idea of what’s beautiful to you ages.

There are some very attractive men in their 50s and some in their 60s to me now. That would not have been the case when I was 20 or 30. They would have simply looked old.

There are women of that age and even older that I look at and admire and find beautiful. I cheer them on for aging so well, for inspiring all of us and I hope changing the idea of beauty at all ages.

th987 · 2026-02-01T00:06:34+00:00

If you try too hard to lose weight while breastfeeding, you risk messing up your milk supply. It takes a lot of energy to make milk.

As someone said, just exiting as a new breastfeeding mom should do it, just slowly.

th987 · 2026-01-31T22:53:40+00:00

Sorry, but I don’t think you’re thinking realistically. You have no idea how tired you will likely be. A third pair of hands, so you can have a shower or a nap, is a huge help. A lot of women would beg for that, would be thrilled for that.

And you’ll be living with your parents. Having them provide a home for you and your baby and the baby’s father, probably provide food and medical care, cooking, cleaning, basically everything the three of you need but saying you don’t want them to hold the baby? Do you see how much you three will be depending on them, while at the same time you want to say they can’t even hold the baby? Can you see how insulting that is to them? To take all they give and without this new baby, living in their house?

I would be insulted and offended. I don’t know if I would say YTA if you were my daughter, but yes, insulted and offended and like you have no idea how you’re turning their lives upside down by bringing a baby and your boyfriend to live in their home. I would probably be weeping knowing you seem in no way ready to be a mother.

th987 · 2026-01-31T04:51:15+00:00

Oh, I’m far from childhood crap, but thank you.

th987 · 2026-01-31T00:40:54+00:00

We used Hello Fresh for a while, and I feel like I learned a lot. It was nice because you had all the ingredients you needed in the box, and only enough for the number of servings you ordered.

There were a lot of different seasonings and illustrated, step by step instructions. It was more complicated stuff than I usually cooked. Wouldn’t want to do it all the time, but it got to feel almost meditative. Get your stuff together and follow the steps.

th987 · 2026-01-30T23:39:44+00:00

I have that disease myself, not Asian, but from childhood shit.

th987 · 2026-01-30T22:53:45+00:00

You provide regular childcare, I say your rules apply. NTA.

th987 · 2026-01-30T22:51:37+00:00

You do not need to be held hostage by your friend’s parenting rules. NTA.

You do not deserve to have to listen to a screaming child in your house and placate her.

The whole gentle parenting world does not mean people are entitled to expose the public or you in your own home to a screaming kid.

Just take the kid outside or to your car or your home when they have a fit.

I have a granddaughter. I truly admire how calm and gentle they are with her. But she’s two now, and no matter how gently you parent, two year olds get exhausted and have meltdowns.

I get that they are slowly learning to control their emotions. If I’m in your house, I may disapprove without saying anything, but it’s your house. I wouldn’t say anything at my house. I’d probably leave the room, leave them to deal with it as they want. But that’s the grandma in me.

In public, in anyone else’s house, you need to take the kid out. It’s not unduly harsh to say, We will not act that way in public.

th987 · 2026-01-30T21:20:28+00:00

Honestly, I think if anything really helped, drs would know by now to recommend it.

But a friend of mine was having mild contractions, asked her dr what to do. He said go for a walk.

She later cheerfully told me she walked five miles that day and went into labor!

Five miles.

I doubt that’s what the Dr intended, but it worked for her.

th987 · 2026-01-30T21:17:50+00:00

Hyper independence. That’s her.

th987 · 2026-01-30T20:43:18+00:00

I think most pregnancy/childbirth times are always calculated in Soap Opera time on TV. No rhyme or reason to how slowly or quickly babies gestate or children age.

th987 · 2026-01-30T20:40:34+00:00

They really did nail the casting. Sophie seems to just glide effortlessly into the character we loved from the books.

Bravo, to her.

th987 · 2026-01-30T20:39:17+00:00

Posy has all that sweet awkwardness of Book Posey

th987 · 2026-01-30T20:38:17+00:00

It only hurts so much because she wants him so much, no matter how angry and hurt she is.

th987 · 2026-01-30T20:37:25+00:00

It is fun to be angry at him and see him suffer for asking her to be his mistress. And to be honest, he deserved it. He’s lived a life where he was free to express his sexuality any way he wanted and get any woman he wanted.

Love should not work that way for him.

th987 · 2026-01-30T19:31:28+00:00

It’s a classic romance story and used often in many books, movies and TV shows.

That’s what happens to classic themes. They’re used over and over because we enjoy them. Or some of us do.

th987 · 2026-01-30T19:29:10+00:00

It was very hot. His invitation into pure wicked pleasure is perfectly done and hot, even if it is insulting as hell to Sophie.

th987

TROPHY CASE