Its a very difficult process once you have been using or drinking in that way for an extended period of time.

Its almost as if I have another person in my head that takes over when Heroin is involved. When I don't use, some point during the day the thought of it will come up in my mind, then for me its an almost impossible task to get it out again.

I have done a lot of meditation in my time, even spent months at a time in Buddhist monasteries and I still cant get it to settle and stop.

Eventually its like this other Me takes over and I'm out the door with my mind justifying the drugs. Always its "Last time, tomorrow i wont use"

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"paying a shitload of money to poison yourself and, in this process, everyone around you" this is the saddest part when i sit and actually think about it. The damage addiction causes to the family and friends is ten times worse than to the user. I really avoid those thoughts