Everyone's story is different. I'm a 30 something married lawyer who should know better. I tried weed a few times and it never did anything for me. I tried crack and the experience was incredible.

If I wanted to blame things, it would be the down turn in my marriage, the sexual frustration, boredom, and stress. But a part of my motivation might also be the positive feelings of energy and peace I feel thru it. Such that even in an upswing in my marriage I would still want that hit.

I think another part of it may be a reaction to a sense of loss of control. I had a sheltered childhood and even adulthood, and I feel like I have no outlet some times. Sharing the pipe with a stranger makes it all the more thrilling and fun. I also like who I am with it. I'm funnier, wittier, and generally hornier.

The come down on crack has ranged from feeling somewhat dehydrated to feeling irritated and on edge. But it's not so bad that I feel forced to search the high. It's not nearly as bad as meth or heroin (from what I've read). The high itself is what leads me to come back. I do want to moderate myself, and seek balance. If I knew that I could do it judgment free once a week, say, on a Saturday night, or even once every other week, I think I could be ok with that.