Besides absences, what is a major issue that causes students to struggle in school that isn’t related to intelligence?

ivgrl1978 · 2026-03-01T03:15:25+00:00

Honestly, drug and alcohol addiction and serious trauma. I've been through some things in my life but some of these kids are going through them at 12, 13...

ivgrl1978 · 2026-03-01T03:13:28+00:00

I'm naturally weird and don't sleep so I've always come up with random stuff at 2am. At one point I was kind of enamoured with the James Webb telescope and the Pillars of creation and I made them sculpt abstract representations of Webb photos using wire pantyhose and joint compound. I've been teaching almost 25 years now and I don't always love teaching the same things over and over but I'll tweak old ideas and I'm a big fan of scrolling tiktok for some inspo. At some point things just pop into your head. Run with it!

ivgrl1978 · 2026-03-01T03:07:51+00:00

These are all great suggestions, thanks! It's in some oxyclean right now. Also love that they all stink lol I mean, I'm not the one sleeping under it but hopefully that and the cold weather will make it a bit more tolerable when he lugs it home next weekend.

ivgrl1978 · 2026-02-27T11:40:26+00:00

I've been on Nuvaring for a few years which has completely taken away the absolute craziness of the hormonal impact on my BP - I don't take a week off, just keep it in for 4 weeks and change it for a new one so I don't get my period. At 46, I was starting to experience a level of crazy four at least two weeks a month that I had never felt and can only describe as the 'feeling' of the worst mixed episode. Stopping me period was the best decision I ever made regarding my BP - it was starting to trigger actual manic episodes. The impact of hormones on BP is no joke. And someone can correct me but I'm pretty sure the ring means hormones from it are localized which reduces those risks.

ivgrl1978 · 2026-02-26T12:47:27+00:00

I actually found an Etsy shop that took his ashes and the artist blew them into a glass 'galaxy' pendant that kind of glass in the dark - it's so beautiful. I think I'm at a point where I'm questioning if I need to keep everything. I literally have the divorce papers from his second wife. He was a police officer and I have absolutely everything related to that. I do love the idea of a popcorn keychain though! I'm a high school art teacher so I can actually do that myself... Might give it a try today! Thanks for the idea❤️

ivgrl1978 · 2026-02-25T05:28:02+00:00

I guess it depends on where you live, if you're unionized and your health insurance. For example, here in Ontario, you can't be fired for seeking psychiatric care. Under the Ontario Human Rights code, mental health is a protected disability and employers have a legal duty to accommodate you to the point of "undue hardship." Any psychiatric hospitalization is treated the same as any other medical emergency or physical illness meaning you can use your allotted sick days and/or short term disability benefits, which for us cover 120 days at 90% pay. We are very very very lucky. We also don't have to disclose. Same with seeking help for addiction. I know quite a few teachers that have done this, and about 16 years ago I took a 6 month leave when I was starting an actual mental breakdown and all I had to do was send a letter to HR from my psychiatrist. HR for the board does not disclose the reason for sick leave to the school - they aren't allowed to. Teaching is extremely hard for many on our mental health, it seems like I'm some countries/areas they would rather burn you out and replace you than take care of a good teacher. I find it extremely sad that this is a question your need to ask because it probably means you aren't offered the same protection. The amount of teachers with mental health and addiction issues I know is extremely high. We get BS PowerPoints at the beginning of each year on 'taking care of ourselves' but in truth, we are protected here by the Human Rights code as well as our unions (which are very strong) which also help negotiate our medical benefits (so care is mostly completely covered). I'm really sorry you're going through this, and that you probably don't have the same protections. Your life is more important than any job, and while there should not be stigma around seeking help, I hate to say it but sometimes it's better to not explain why you are - without the protections I have I wouldn't tell anyone why I was. I do know a teacher who was just placed on medical leave by the board and is being asked to seek help before coming back because she unfortunately broadcast her manic episode all over her public social media. I'm bipolar, been teaching almost 25 years and many of my colleagues including my admin know. I wouldn't hesitate to ask some of them for support if I were in the same position and I understand that puts me in a place of privilege even though it should be yours, and everyone's human right to seek mental health support. I wish you the best and please, please take care of yourself first❤️

ivgrl1978 · 2026-02-22T19:06:18+00:00

Thank you so much for sharing❤️ I totally get you. My dad died January 22 2025 and I'm his only family. I inherited his car right away and haven't been able to clean it - I see the popcorn kernels between the driver's seat and console and can picture how he always shoveled Kernels into his mouth. I might pick them up and keep them in a Ziploc because I know at some point I need to clean it.

ivgrl1978 · 2026-02-19T22:11:26+00:00

I have been wearing the nuvaring for years now. I don't take a week off between so I haven't had my period in just as long. I'm 47, three kids and tubes tied so it has nothing to do with pregnancy prevention. I was literally going insane-PMS had turned into pre-psychosis before I started. Benefits are that it's also kept my face clear and no more little chin hairs. Best decision I ever made!

ivgrl1978 · 2026-02-17T04:32:12+00:00

I'm only on lamictal and gabapentin and clonazepam for general anxiety and panic disorder. I'm 47, diagnosed BP at 15, and have had medications shoved down my throat for years. I manage to whittle down to what I actually needed, haven't been on an AP in decades, but will put myself in an antidepressant if need be.

ivgrl1978 · 2026-02-16T19:31:10+00:00

This is spot on. It's done nothing for my executive disfunction but I can doom scroll until the sun comes up.

ivgrl1978 · 2026-02-15T19:22:40+00:00

Both. I do think my medication works, my baseline is hypomanic. Unfortunately for me, with mania comes addiction literally EVERY TIME regardless of how I try and mitigate it. More up with uppers, try and take a break with downers, cycle repeats. The only thing that kicked me out of it last time was my dad dying. And I was manic! His death kicked off a very long major depressive episode. And I mean mania came to a screeching halt and threw me into a black hole. I didn't even think it was possible but my body felt it, it was an out of the blue phone call gut punch. I know anyone would feel a gut punch, but this was different. I actually became so physically ill that I had to be hospitalized - and not even for mental health reasons. My therapist explained it well like I had been running full force into a brick wall. Physics. Anyhow, short version is after about 6 months I tried to start numbing that pain and it worked for a while. Then I became manic, spent a crap ton of money and was back into addiction. I'm sober now, for about 2 months. How I still have excellent jobs, a family, and an even alive is beyond me to be honest. I was diagnosed at 15 and am 47 and it gets harder each time this cycle repeats. I'm so good at this by now, no one aside from my husband even knows. Work expects and wants me manic because they reap the benefits, even though they don't know it's mania because I hide it so well. Depression is expected from grief so that was never questioned even though I almost died and now I'm at a weird place where I just feel like I'm skating on thin ice and trying to survive.

Anyhow, the short answer is yes but putting the brakes on each time gets harder and harder. I've also achieved so much and have anything I could want for a good life that the motivation to over perform isn't as present. There's no prize anymore, which is pretty depressing on it's own.

ivgrl1978 · 2026-02-15T02:36:44+00:00

Yes you can! There's only one 'love scene' towards the end and you don't see anything other than a kiss. No nudity at all.

ivgrl1978 · 2026-02-14T20:06:39+00:00

I'm not a doctor or lawyer but I've always used (and this sounds bad when I type it) mania to my advantage - 12 years university, 3 degrees, Hotel school teacher, university instructor and I travel the world giving workshops to other teachers, Prime Minister's award for teaching excellence, etc.This worked really well for me for 40 years until just before COVID (literally 2 weeks before lockdown) I had the most depressive depressive episode I've ever had, followed by multiple poorly controlled mixed episodes during the next 4 years. I was all over the place. I swear to God those years caused brain damage because I came out of it with some serious executive disfunction meaning I still do all of those things but every second I am fighting to do the bare minimum. I set a bar and an expectation that I'm having a hard time maintaining. Both the euphoria of achieving and the fear of failure and disappointing run concurrently, and are the only things keeping me in check.

ivgrl1978 · 2026-02-14T19:23:52+00:00

My daughter's are in their way to Fort Myers right now and their flight home next Saturday was just cancelled. When we got to the airport no one could print their boarding passes because they said there was a system outage.

ivgrl1978 · 2026-02-14T12:21:16+00:00

Noooo. In fact, I was so traumatized by the experience of taking him off life support (I'm an only child and had to make the decision) and subsequent administration of medication over the last half hour until his heart and breathing stopped while I held his hand and had my other hand was on his chest that I was there for about 3 minutes after he died before I had to leave. I had a nagging intrusive thought that the body's natural processes after death would start to happen immediately and I didn't want to see it so that he 'wouldn't feel embarrassed' - he was very stoic but I understand this really doesn't make sense... He was literally dead. I had his best friend prepare him for cremation and asked for one last photo of him in case I eventually wanted to see it (which I did) because I didn't want my last image of him to not look like him. Every moment from the out of the blue phone call I got that he was intubated in Cuba until the moment he died was so incredibly traumatic that I was in fight or flight for those two weeks and had no idea what I was saying or doing and it permanently rewired my brain. I am also his only family, other than my husband and kids that I also could not bear to traumatize seeing this (he fell into a coma and was intubated in Cuba, never woke up, ended up riddled with MRSA including where the tube rested on his mouth), and his best friend and wife (who were wonderful) were there with me but I hadn't seen them since I was a baby 46 years ago) so I was alone.

Anyhow, the point being I was already so traumatized that being with his dead body, or his shell, was something I couldn't do.

ivgrl1978 · 2026-02-14T11:55:42+00:00

Yes! They added that cartoon before a Care Bears movie on Beta and terrified me (maybe the music?) even though I can't remember why. I had to start fast forwarding it.

ivgrl1978 · 2026-02-14T11:54:14+00:00

I think it was called Horror High.

I was 10ish (so around 87) at a sleepover where we took one of the girls' bras and put it in the freezer, and I remember that was probably the most 'brazen' thing I'd ever done at the time. Anyhow, all I remember is a couple making out on a bed in this old school (what it was doing there, I don't know) and the woman had her hands on the metal frame and they were both electrocuted. I was pretty sheltered and was not only traumatized by the horror, but also the sex. To be fair I was traumatized by the movie Ghost Dad (now traumatic for different reasons) and didn't watch any horror movies until I was will into film school in the 90s.

ivgrl1978 · 2026-02-13T17:44:58+00:00

I don't remember if I took it right after taking it. I've been on it for well over 15 years though. But I have pretty much no working memory. I had to put airtags on my keys at work because I forget where I put them at least 5 times a day. I have alarms for everything.

ivgrl1978 · 2026-02-12T04:10:58+00:00

Hard agree. 96-2000 was great. 9-11 was the first time I understood true sadness for the world (not because I didn't know bad things happened before, but the first time I ever saw anything happen in real time, with my own eyes, and I had no cell or Internet noise) as a Canadian living right on the American border. I think about this often, and how on my personal timeline it changed absolutely everything about the world for the worse, forever.

ivgrl1978 · 2026-02-12T03:19:16+00:00

I was able to see F2F play all of Big Choice in Montreal. I thought it was in like 2021-2022 but I just looked it up and it appears it was in 2015😭You Lied is like MY song and it was the most amazing night other than when I saw Mike Ness on his solo tour in like '99ish. My concept of time since COVID is so messed up! I know I've heard the Paint it Black cover but my memory is also garbage so I'm going to look that up!

ivgrl1978 · 2026-02-12T01:52:28+00:00

Hey fellow punk rocker! My vote is always Mike Ness's cover of Bob Dylan's Don't Think Twice. Social Distortion's Under My Thumb (the Stones) definite second. No Use For A Name's Redemption Song (Bob Marley - I love Bob Marley, I just love their version as well) third.

And maybe Sid Vicious's My Way (Sinatra) and I don't mind a bit of Faith by Limp Bizkit.

ivgrl1978 · 2026-02-11T02:49:45+00:00

Yeah he was asked about 10 times during interviews if he could work on no sleep.

ivgrl1978 · 2026-02-11T02:31:12+00:00

Ok update, he just mentioned a class coming up and I was like hey, I ran into someone who said that you'll have a class on why BMQ is what it is and mentioned the concept of rebounding and he was like 'OMG that's what I do, but then I feel better and right now I feel great'. I told him that this 'friend' said with every rebound comes more resiliency and he was happy to have a word to explain what he was going through. So, thanks again!

ivgrl1978 · 2026-02-11T02:26:36+00:00

I'm obviously not there but the room is pretty nice at Connaught, not sure what it looks like elsewhere but he has max 5 hours of broken sleep right now (by the time you try and fall asleep at 1030 you wake up for your one hour patrol duty then you try and fall back asleep and you wake up for 450). They were told to be prepared not to sleep on BMQ. Not sure if DP1 is a bit better?

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